Zequilix

The Cosmic Perspective

2011-05-27T19:07:00.006+08:00

One of the most inspiring essays I ever came across, written by Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist.

Of all the sciences cultivated by mankind, Astronomy is acknowledged to be, and undoubtedly is, the most sublime, the most interesting, and the most useful. For, by knowledge derived from this science, not only the bulk of the Earth is discovered . . . ; but our very faculties are enlarged with the grandeur of the ideas it conveys, our minds exalted above [ their ] low contracted prejudices.

—James Ferguson, Astronomy Explained Upon Sir Isaac Newton's Principles, And Made Easy To Those Who Have Not Studied Mathematics (1757)

Long before anyone knew that the universe had a beginning, before we knew that the nearest large galaxy lies two and a half million light-years from Earth, before we knew how stars work or whether atoms exist, James Ferguson's enthusiastic introduction to his favorite science rang true. Yet his words, apart from their eighteenth-century flourish, could have been written yesterday.

But who gets to think that way? Who gets to celebrate this cosmic view of life? Not the migrant farmworker . Not the sweatshop worker. Certainly not the homeless person rummaging through the trash for food. You need the luxury of time not spent on mere survival. You need to live in a nation whose government values the search to understand humanity's place in the universe. You need a society in which intellectual pursuit can take you to the frontiers of discovery, and in which news of your discoveries can be routinely disseminated. By those measures, most citizens of industrialized nations do quite well.

Yet the cosmic view comes with a hidden cost. When I travel thousands of miles to spend a few moments in the fast-moving shadow of the Moon during a total solar eclipse, sometimes I lose sight of Earth.

When I pause and reflect on our expanding universe, with its galaxies hurtling away from one another, embedded within the ever-stretching, four-dimensional fabric of space and time, sometimes I forget that uncounted people walk this Earth without food or shelter, and that children are disproportionately represented among them.

When I pore over the data that establish the mysterious presence of dark matter and dark energy throughout the universe, sometimes I forget that every day—every twenty-four-hour rotation of Earth—people kill and get killed in the name of someone else's conception of God, and that some people who do not kill in the name of God kill in the name of their nation's needs or wants.

When I track the orbits of asteroids, comets, and planets, each one a pirouetting dancer in a cosmic ballet choreographed by the forces of gravity, sometimes I forget that too many people act in wanton disregard for the delicate interplay of Earth's atmosphere, oceans, and land, with consequences that our children and our children's children will witness and pay for with their health and well-being.

And sometimes I forget that powerful people rarely do all they can to help those who cannot help themselves.

I occasionally forget those things because, however big the world is—in our hearts, our minds, and our outsize atlases—the universe is even bigger. A depressing thought to some, but a liberating thought to me.

Consider an adult who tends to the traumas of a child: a broken toy, a scraped knee, a schoolyard bully. Adults know that kids have no clue what constitutes a genuine problem, because inexperience greatly limits their childhood perspective.

As grown-ups, dare we admit to ourselves that we, too, have a collective immaturity of view? Dare we admit that our thoughts and behaviors spring from a belief that the world revolves around us? Apparently not. And the evidence abounds. Part the curtains of society's racial, ethnic, religious, national, and cultural conflicts, and you find the human ego turning the knobs and pulling the levers.

Now imagine a world in which everyone, but especially people with power and influence, holds an expanded view of our place in the cosmos. With that perspective, our problems would shrink—or never arise at all—and we could celebrate our earthly differences while shunning the behavior of our predecessors who slaughtered each other because of them.

* * *

Back in February 2000, the newly rebuilt Hayden Planetarium featured a space show called “Passport to the Universe,” which took visitors on a virtual zoom from New York City to the edge of the cosmos. En route the audience saw Earth, then the solar system, then the 100 billion stars of the Milky Way galaxy shrink to barely visible dots on the planetarium dome.

Within a month of opening day, I received a letter from an Ivy League professor of psychology whose expertise was things that make people feel insignificant. I never knew one could specialize in such a field. The guy wanted to administer a before-and-after questionnaire to visitors, assessing the depth of their depression after viewing the show. “Passport to the Universe,” he wrote, elicited the most dramatic feelings of smallness he had ever experienced.

How could that be? Every time I see the space show (and others we've produced), I feel alive and spirited and connected. I also feel large, knowing that the goings-on within the three-pound human brain are what enabled us to figure out our place in the universe.

Allow me to suggest that it's the professor, not I, who has misread nature. His ego was too big to begin with, inflated by delusions of significance and fed by cultural assumptions that human beings are more important than everything else in the universe.

In all fairness to the fellow, powerful forces in society leave most of us susceptible. As was I . . . until the day I learned in biology class that more bacteria live and work in one centimeter of my colon than the number of people who have ever existed in the world. That kind of information makes you think twice about who—or what—is actually in charge.

From that day on, I began to think of people not as the masters of space and time but as participants in a great cosmic chain of being, with a direct genetic link across species both living and extinct, extending back nearly 4 billion years to the earliest single-celled organisms on Earth.

* * *

I know what you're thinking: we're smarter than bacteria.

No doubt about it, we're smarter than every other living creature that ever walked, crawled, or slithered on Earth. But how smart is that? We cook our food. We compose poetry and music. We do art and science. We're good at math. Even if you're bad at math, you're probably much better at it than the smartest chimpanzee, whose genetic identity varies in only trifling ways from ours. Try as they might, primatologists will never get a chimpanzee to learn the multiplication table or do long division.

If small genetic differences between us and our fellow apes account for our vast difference in intelligence, maybe that difference in intelligence is not so vast after all.

Imagine a life-form whose brainpower is to ours as ours is to a chimpanzee's. To such a species our highest mental achievements would be trivial. Their toddlers, instead of learning their ABCs on Sesame Street, would learn multivariable calculus on Boolean Boulevard. Our most complex theorems, our deepest philosophies, the cherished works of our most creative artists, would be projects their schoolkids bring home for Mom and Dad to display on the refrigerator door. These creatures would study Stephen Hawking (who occupies the same endowed professorship once held by Newton at the University of Cambridge) because he's slightly more clever than other humans, owing to his ability to do theoretical astrophysics and other rudimentary calculations in his head.

If a huge genetic gap separated us from our closest relative in the animal kingdom, we could justifiably celebrate our brilliance. We might be entitled to walk around thinking we're distant and distinct from our fellow creatures. But no such gap exists. Instead, we are one with the rest of nature, fitting neither above nor below, but within.

* * *

Need more ego softeners? Simple comparisons of quantity, size, and scale do the job well.

Take water. It's simple, common, and vital. There are more molecules of water in an eight-ounce cup of the stuff than there are cups of water in all the world's oceans. Every cup that passes through a single person and eventually rejoins the world's water supply holds enough molecules to mix 1,500 of them into every other cup of water in the world. No way around it: some of the water you just drank passed through the kidneys of Socrates, Genghis Khan, and Joan of Arc.

How about air? Also vital. A single breathful draws in more air molecules than there are breathfuls of air in Earth's entire atmosphere. That means some of the air you just breathed passed through the lungs of Napoleon, Beethoven, Lincoln, and Billy the Kid.

Time to get cosmic. There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on any beach, more stars than seconds have passed since Earth formed, more stars than words and sounds ever uttered by all the humans who ever lived.

Want a sweeping view of the past? Our unfolding cosmic perspective takes you there. Light takes time to reach Earth's observatories from the depths of space, and so you see objects and phenomena not as they are but as they once were. That means the universe acts like a giant time machine: the farther away you look, the further back in time you see—back almost to the beginning of time itself. Within that horizon of reckoning, cosmic evolution unfolds continuously, in full view.

Want to know what we're made of? Again, the cosmic perspective offers a bigger answer than you might expect. The chemical elements of the universe are forged in the fires of high-mass stars that end their lives in stupendous explosions, enriching their host galaxies with the chemical arsenal of life as we know it. The result? The four most common chemically active elements in the universe—hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, and nitrogen—are the four most common elements of life on Earth. We are not simply in the universe. The universe is in us.

* * *

Yes, we are stardust. But we may not be of this Earth. Several separate lines of research, when considered together, have forced investigators to reassess who we think we are and where we think we came from.

First, computer simulations show that when a large asteroid strikes a planet, the surrounding areas can recoil from the impact energy, catapulting rocks into space. From there, they can travel to—and land on—other planetary surfaces. Second, microorganisms can be hardy. Some survive the extremes of temperature, pressure, and radiation inherent in space travel. If the rocky flotsam from an impact hails from a planet with life, microscopic fauna could have stowed away in the rocks' nooks and crannies. Third, recent evidence suggests that shortly after the formation of our solar system, Mars was wet, and perhaps fertile, even before Earth was.

Those findings mean it's conceivable that life began on Mars and later seeded life on Earth, a process known as panspermia . So all earthlings might—just might—be descendants of Martians.

Again and again across the centuries, cosmic discoveries have demoted our self-image. Earth was once assumed to be astronomically unique, until astronomers learned that Earth is just another planet orbiting the Sun. Then we presumed the Sun was unique, until we learned that the countless stars of the night sky are suns themselves. Then we presumed our galaxy, the Milky Way, was the entire known universe, until we established that the countless fuzzy things in the sky are other galaxies, dotting the landscape of our known universe.

Today, how easy it is to presume that one universe is all there is. Yet emerging theories of modern cosmology, as well as the continually reaffirmed improbability that anything is unique, require that we remain open to the latest assault on our plea for distinctiveness: multiple universes, otherwise known as the “ multiverse ,” in which ours is just one of countless bubbles bursting forth from the fabric of the cosmos.

* * *

The cosmic perspective flows from fundamental knowledge. But it's more than just what you know. It's also about having the wisdom and insight to apply that knowledge to assessing our place in the universe. And its attributes are clear:

The cosmic perspective comes from the frontiers of science, yet it is not solely the provenance of the scientist. It belongs to everyone.

The cosmic perspective is humble.

The cosmic perspective is spiritual — even redemptive — but not religious.

The cosmic perspective enables us to grasp, in the same thought, the large and the small.

The cosmic perspective opens our minds to extraordinary ideas but does not leave them so open that our brains spill out, making us susceptible to believing anything we're told.

The cosmic perspective opens our eyes to the universe, not as a benevolent cradle designed to nurture life but as a cold, lonely, hazardous place.

The cosmic perspective shows Earth to be a mote, but a precious mote and, for the moment, the only home we have.

The cosmic perspective finds beauty in the images of planets, moons, stars, and nebulae but also celebrates the laws of physics that shape them.

The cosmic perspective enables us to see beyond our circumstances, allowing us to transcend the primal search for food, shelter, and sex.

The cosmic perspective reminds us that in space, where there is no air, a flag will not wave—an indication that perhaps flag waving and space exploration do not mix.

The cosmic perspective not only embraces our genetic kinship with all life on Earth but also values our chemical kinship with any yet-to-be discovered life in the universe, as well as our atomic kinship with the universe itself.

* * *

At least once a week, if not once a day, we might each ponder what cosmic truths lie undiscovered before us, perhaps awaiting the arrival of a clever thinker, an ingenious experiment, or an innovative space mission to reveal them. We might further ponder how those discoveries may one day transform life on Earth.

Absent such curiosity, we are no different from the provincial farmer who expresses no need to venture beyond the county line, because his forty acres meet all his needs. Yet if all our predecessors had felt that way, the farmer would instead be a cave dweller, chasing down his dinner with a stick and a rock.

During our brief stay on planet Earth, we owe ourselves and our descendants the opportunity to explore—in part because it's fun to do. But there's a far nobler reason. The day our knowledge of the cosmos ceases to expand, we risk regressing to the childish view that the universe figuratively and literally revolves around us. In that bleak world, arms-bearing, resource-hungry people and nations would be prone to act on their “low contracted prejudices.” And that would be the last gasp of human enlightenment—until the rise of a visionary new culture that could once again embrace the cosmic perspective.

The Last Cross Country

2011-02-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

In all my years of secondary school, this is only the second cross country run I've attended. That's right, I ditched my friends and made them run alone for the past 3 years. But this year, of course, being my last, I wanted to attend and be able to run one last time.

The running routes have changed again, and this time, we only had to run around the housing area (it was still the same distance). Chingx, Sara and I only ran at certain stretches of the road. The rest of the time was spent sight-seeing and inspecting the cool architectural design of some houses. Pn Chen thought I was looking for a friend when she saw me peeking into a house (hee, whoops!). We completed the entire race track in about 25 minutes (fail!), ending at 8.50. There were other girls in our category who probably finished the whole run in under 10 minutes.

After running, I had to go help out at the Interact stall, which was wrongly speculated to be placed at a "strategic spot" by Pn Mary Anne. Just as I had suspected, only the stores nearest to the coupon counter (the poor admins) drew the most students. So what did we do? We went there and marketed there. Of course, the students weren't very receptive to new ideas and didn't believe that our drinks were that great. But after talking to a lot of random people and talking a lot of crap in front of them, I must admit, I had an exceptionally awesome time conning a lot of innocent students.

When I did eventually get tired of direct advertising with the students, I took a trip to the prefects' games stall, where the rest of the committee members were getting thrown at with sponges by normal students. If the students hit our faces, they would get some form of prize. It was really cool to be there, literally. I got soaked like mad, and we committee prefects really had a fun time laughing at each other and taking revenge on "traitor prefects" who decided to throw sponges at us, their very nice seniors. This group of traitors included head prefect Daniel, Shawn and Zhong-Yuen, who eventually found themselves facing the wrath of the rest of the committee, who directly threw pails of water on them. Now, that was just the first round of things. I had to go back to check on the Interact stall again, and about 1 hour later, returned to get more soaked.

Our game garnered a lot of attention, most of it coming from the afternoon session kids. Well, we can't really blame them anyway. The idea of being allowed to throw wet sponges at important people 4 years older than you really appealed to the younger crowd. Amusingly, this year's Form 1s are one bunch of very aggressive people. The best throws came from these very scary 13-year olds. But to be fair, Lau Kah Yew from 1 Jati took the cake for being our "best" customer. After using up all his sponges, he decided it was time for somebody daring enough like him to pwn the prefects. Taking a bucket full of water, he threw the water onto the entire committee and ran away as fast as he could. Sure enough, the most important group of people in the school disbanded and gave chase. "Divide and conquer!" was the last thing heard by each of us before splitting up to look for him.

From here onwards, my side of the story becomes the most interesting one among the AJK prefects. I saw my friends running towards the canteen, the empty blocks A, B and C, and thought that no one would bother to check block E and the car park at this rate. So to the car park, I ran, and there, I found (to my surprise), non-prefects running after the little boy in Purple house shirt. Darien was the only morning session-er running after him, while the rest, I suspected, were his friends (yes, even his friends had trouble catching him). My quarry ran all the way through the deserted block E and towards the end, took a sharp turn towards the direction of the stairs. My worst fear was that this boy would decide to run up the blocks, because then, I'd be the only one left still hot on his trail!

Thankfully, the boy just took an illegal turn and ran to the other side of the block using the pathway under the stairs. I thought he would turn one round so I could nab him. Darien was nowhere to be seen at this point, just when I needed a guy around the most. When everything stood still for a few seconds, I took things to my own hands and went to the end of the block, where I found Darien staring over the steep edge, looking down at the forbidden grounds of block G. And there, below us by the height of one storey, stood the boy, grinning enthusiastically. According to Darien, this crazy fellow slid down the steep slope just to get away from us. Great, just great. And what did Darien do after that? He walked away. Just like that. After running after this boy and wasting a few precious moments of his life, he walks away. Psh.

Okay, so I stayed on to persuade the boy to come up. He followed my instructions, after I warned him that the block was a forbidden area and he could be caught being down there. Holding him by the shoulder so that he couldn't run away again, I led him back to the prefects stall.

There, he was invited to sit among us committee members to share our fate of being sponged at by students. Before we even settled down, Krystle took a bucket of water in an attempt to soak him. His reflexes were too fast for her, and he managed to backfire the attack, landing the water on Krys herself. Next thing you know, Zhong and Thiam Joo were drenching the poor boy with 2 pails of water simultaneously. What happened after that threw us off guard. Kah Yew suddenly went white and screamed "My phone!" in front of the same people who confiscate handphones from unsuspecting students. No, we didn't confiscate his phone there and then, we went white and wide-eyed with him. If his phone died, we would have to use all our profits to get him a new one.

Pravin managed to dry Kah Yew's phone, so thank goodness it didn't die. The phone was very obviously Kah Yew's main concern, for when he learnt that his phone was still functioning, he threw a grin at us again. We decided to close the prefects stall after that singular incident (and a few more throws from those who have already paid for their chance) to avoid more complications.

I left the prefects stall at about 12.05 to get back to the Interact one. We cleared the stall and proceeded to count our coupons before heading over to Pn Cheng's office to submit our coupon collection (470 in total!). Then, we went back to the canteen and each of us took a few leftover bottles home.

And that, my friend, was how I spent my last cross country run. I had a really good time practicing my filibuster skills and conning a lot of random students, including Kah Yew, who ended up following me back to the prefects stall without even putting up a fight. Special thanks to all the Interactors who managed to make today our special Con-The-Students Day and ALL the students who threw sponges at us prefects. If I were still in Form 4, I'd definitely want to come back next year. Then again, if I were in Form 4, I wouldn't be a part of the prefect committee yet, and probably wouldn't enjoy today as much as I did. Thank you, Kah Yew, you crazy little Form 1 kid.

Winning A Drama

2011-02-25T13:54:00.253+08:00

Take a leap of faith. That's all you need.

We started early, yes. Earlier than most of the other classes by at least a week. The theme for our first and last school drama competition was Mask/Essence, whichever we prefer to use. The proposed idea our director came up with initially was to divide the stage into 2 halves, using one section for "the present" while the other half would be for flashbacks. Somebody died, and somebody got arrested. The arrested suspect would be proved innocent later on in the drama. Slightly dry, if you leave it at that.

Well, our class rejected it.

So began our quest for a new storyline. We eventually settled with one, which was....amusing. Execute. Execute. That was the last thing we needed to do, until we finally thought we were perfect.

The stage was divided into 2 sections, one for flashback, one for the "present". 4 people were seated, 2 parents, their daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law enjoying their engagement dinner. Then, a mysterious police inspector turned up and accused each of them for being the reasons for pushing a girl named Eva to take her own life just 2 hours earlier. Scenes were frozen, thrown into flashback, and secrets were revealed. After making them feel guilty enough, the inspector left, while they pondered over their wrongdoings and regretted their past actions. Father, being skeptical, decides to call up the police headquarters to check if there really was an Inspector Kane. There was no such person. So daughter decides to check with the information centre if a girl had just committed suicide. No one committed suicide yet. Being glad that it was all a bluff, they continued to enjoying their champagne.

Minutes later, the information centre calls up. A girl name Eva just killed herself.

That won 5 Cengal the first place. Catch is, my class isn't 5 Cengal. We changed the script to one much lighter and less morbid, involving parents planning to divorce and their distressed son.

We didn't win, maybe because we had too many actors who were forced to play so many side characters. We didn't win, maybe because the storyline didn't link up as well as we'd thought; maybe the scenes were too fragmented; maybe the characters didn't act well enough, maybe we didn't portray a strong "cause and effect" concept. But then again, maybe we didn't win because we chose not to. We wanted to bend the rules to include more actors, actresses and crew even if it jeopardizes our script and storyline; we wanted to work with each other despite the hassle in numbers, just to bond together and have memories of each other in our sunset days. We didn't win, maybe because we firmly guarded our stand that each Batai-an has an equal portion of this once-in-a-lifetime competition and each of us should be involved, sacrificing group coordination. We ended up having a good time with each other, and no one was ever left out.

We were given a choice. It's a trade-off between winning and creating fond memories together. Our class chose the latter, and we walked away with something more valuable than 15 gold medals only given to cast and crew. We earned something the other classes would never have from this event.

We didn't win.

But it doesn't matter any more.

Too Far

2011-02-18T13:53:00.002+08:00

I would not have tried to see the most distant star
If I'd known the universe is infinite
Or capped a bottle of expectations
If I knew it could be burst open.

I would not have told myself
That life could've been different
If I'd only been able to see
That I'd been given this much to start with.

I would not have drawn a different route
To reach the same destination
Or satisfy an earth-bound consciousness
So eager to fly.

I would have told myself a life of lies
If revelation would have its way earlier
Forced my way to the limitless sky
Even if I had not been given wings.

I would have showed myself
How angels fall from out yonder
Tested the truths
And rocketed to star-bound fate.

I'd rather stand before heaven's door to question the existence of equality
And the reality of this nightmare
Fueled by whispers of endless lies
Than to grope inside the illusion of an unawakened dream.

Music Of The Night

2010-11-12T16:08:00.045+08:00

Composition of this essay has been complicated. 898 words in 30 minutes. Please don't ask how this is possible, I was placed in a stressful situation. =) [47/50 marks]

The other essay for my English paper is even more mind-boggling. That 10-minute-worth essay was worth 32/35 marks. Not bad, for 2 full pages of 10-minute rush. =D

It looks as if the world was about to come to a complete standstill. Nobody knows that at this very moment, we are hurtling through space at an amazing speed. Hard to believe, since the stars don't look like they are moving. The Hunter hovers just over the horizon yonder, ready to shoot aimlessly at the vast number of bright gems studded on the black sheet of infinite depth. The moon was full tonight, instead of hiding elusively as it was wont to do. This is my favourite time of the day, the time when the Earth revolves quietly and cradles its people to sleep. This is the time where fantastical creatures of myth and magic in the sky look down upon us and say their greetings, though not often do we answer their calls.

Unlike most self-professed "nocturnal creatures", I do not stay indoors during such calming times. No, I am not a blood-sucking vampire who kills people in their dreams, neither am I a scientist who can tell you everything that exists in the sky. I am but a humble Earthling, who finds awe and inspiration in the sybilline structures of the universe, of which I can only be a part of by gazing into the sky. I see the stars coming out to play when civilization least cares about them. Most people choose to watch television, surf the internet or amuse themselves with mindless games, but I - I choose to see the subtle movements in the heavens, count the uncountable number of distant suns that paint our night sky. When I look at Orion, I don't see a lifeless constellation of a man with his signature belt that could put designer belts to shame, I see a man made of fiery flowers of hydrogen lost in a faraway world, scintillating ornately with piercing red Betelgeuse and young, blue Rigel (both are names of stars). By submitting myself to the wonders of the sky at night, I am able to travel to a place between fact and fiction, which really is a sanctuary for restive thoughts.

Inspiration is the other key as to why I enjoy the silent lure of the night. Of course, to appreciate the real wonders at night, one might need to bring along some tools. These are mainly the camera, a notepad, and same empty music sheets. When I'm out there under the mercy of the lords of the sky, I am not deafened by a silence which might haunt many. Instead, I am washed with the eternal music of the universe. Ideas pop out of thin air and before I know it, I would have experienced several 'eureka' moments out there alone. What better way to capture these thoughts before they are gone forever? Some of these ideas or thoughts would probably never have the chance to surface in my head in the hectic humdrum of life during the daytime, which is why I am very thankful to the peace and quiet the night offers.

Apart from that, I am able to indulge myself in an uninterrupted stream of thoughts. When it is raining and I can't go out, I lock myself up in my room and think. I think of the happy moments in my life and reminisce about those times I screwed up. It is via this contemplative session I provide myself that I am able to find out where I have gone wrong at certain critical times in life. It is during this time that I can finally take a step back from my consciousness and analyze situations without taking emotions into consideration. From this exercise, appreciating life as it is has become easier, and I feel that I don't flare up too easily. Almost all of my life-changing decisions were made during this time of the day, most of which I have yet to regret.

Undeniably, the most important reason why I like nights are because I can finish up undone schoolwork (heh!). Normally, I become more lucid at night, and am more able to soak up information and become more productive. People say it is good to study hard, but I prefer to study smart at night. One can almost say that I do not put in a 100% effort on this matter, because as I have pointed out earlier, I like to "nightdream". Then again, what else can I do? It is important that I grab the chance to do some real work when I am at my most attentive, as taking in ideas without putting them through much grinding is useless (to me, at least). This is when my creativity is at its peak.

Night. It is that time of the day when heaven comes a-knocking. It is the only time in the day when the Gods lend their creative spark to me. The darkness, the mystery, the ghastly shadows cast by the moon; these are exactly the things that arouse my conscience and hold the secrets to unlock my sometimes quixotic world. Not many will understand the deep affinity I reserve for the night, but nevertheless, it doesn't deter me from answering the call of the full moon. Night is when dreams awaken, and at times when I really lose it, I would dream of aliens visiting, and they would take me to a place no one has ever dreamed of before.

Thief Of Time

2010-11-04T13:20:00.003+08:00

Time is accelerating...

I am a recidivist. A resipiscent one, maybe, but nevertheless, a recidivist. I am not one who pilfers the chattels of another. Neither am I one to conform to pernicious activities capable of eroding my sanity. No, I commit another form of crime. I steal the one thing belongs to everyone, calling it my own and throwing it into the recesses of my past. I am responsible for stashing away what has been presented to me by spacetime, thinking that its full potential has been unleashed in the present moment. I am undetectable, conducting my operations when one least expects me too. I am a thief of time.

It is a wonder that cops have yet to catch me and put me in jail, for I have, over the years, kidnapped most of the seconds that strut pass me. The minutes, the hours, the days - they march by slowly, hesitant of going my way. They crawl, they slide, they hide. Yet, I always manage to catch them. During my younger days, I'd stop them in their tracks by pouncing on them, jumping, shooting them with powerful water guns and even paralyze them with shrieks that could break any glass. As the years pass by, I start opening books to suck time in, proving this method nearly as effective as time-killing black holes itself.

To my utmost horror, Darwin's law of evolution also holds true for this thing we call time. It has now become the predator to my existence, moving with such velocity and vigour which could put any cheetah or race car to shame. I did not give in. I tried to capture the flying moments, translating events into words, creating meaning from an obfuscated flurry of a continuum of memories that form after each second. What I call "Now" quickly transforms itself into the previous frame of time. Everything I once deemed as "Future" is coming at me faster than the speed of light without the slightest pause.

Still, I tried to catch this monster.

I couldn't accept the truth soon enough. My stupidity remains unmatched to this moment. Time is now an untamed creature running amok, racing itself against light to reach a finish line that humans wish we couldn't see from where we are now. Time is pressing against me, punishing me for what I've done in my younger days. Time is not to be wasted, not to be caught; it is meant to be experienced to its fullest potential, allowing an individual to live life more than it ought to be. It can only be recorded as but a mere fragment of our fading moments and memories, most of which do not match up to the experience itself. Even then, penning down these precious times are wasting the present time itself, which could be used to save the world or something less exaggerating. Actions speak louder than words.

It is obvious that I have not been properly immortalizing events in my life this year, indicating either overproductivity or the other end of that spectrum. I have not been successfully capturing this elusive thing called time, instead, utilizing it in ways only a procrastinator could understand. Now, I would no longer remain a thief of time. I'm going to race it until I can race no more.

And hopefully, win.

Freedom "emBRACEd"

2010-11-01T23:50:00.025+08:00

After 45 months of integrating metal with the strong mountains of calcium carbonate in my buccal cavity, I am finally no longer a transhuman. Oh yes, I am freed from the monthly agony, freed from phantom aches in the mouth, freed from antagonistic clutches of braces!! I am pure; I am now human!! Of course, that means I can indulge in nuts now (although that might make me more nuts than I ought to be). Ah, who cares? =D Woohoo!

*Braces removed on Monday, 011110. Notice the awesome date.

GK : Fascinating World History

2010-08-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

WARNING : General understanding of history MUST be inculcated before treading on the following minefield of mistakes. I've given you my warning. Take heed, or you'll lose your entire life believing in historical nonsense. I've only identified certain obscure bloopers you might not have heard of. Other than that, there's a mistake in every sentence. Smart nuts, have fun laughing your heads off.

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Desert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns. . .Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a feminine moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in the Illiad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity (it's supposed to be The ODYSSEY), in which Penelope was the last hardship (she's supposed to be Ulysses's goal, not obstacle) that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands,. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold musterded his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Joan of Arc was cannonized by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the times was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter, Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Guttenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumsised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo (ARMADA).

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and this was known as Pilgrims Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed along with their capooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the war, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

George Washington married Marth Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. The Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clu Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor. On the night of April 14, 1855, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. (A moving picture show is an animation, like cartoons. In order to kill Lincoln, this insane actor would have to jump out of the screen to do so, thus defying the very principles of science itself).

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish Gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear children.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

I didn't highlight everything that was wrong, because doing so would make the entire post colourful and reading would be made almost impossible. I'ts more rewarding if you've found out the mistakes yourself. If you don't even bother doing that, then I really don't hold myself responsible for any severe cases of misinformation.

See, guys, it's alright to screw up History. You're a contributing factor to the world of life-saving comedians. =)

We're On News!

2010-08-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

They had to outwit their rivals in four rounds – an MCQ quiz, a hands-on challenge, an oral presentation and a buzzer quiz – before being crowned the ‘mightiest minds’ of their state. The RHB-The Star Mighty Minds upper and lower secondary champions can expect an intense battle at the national finals.

Participants from Malay College Kuala Kangsar showing the judges (from right) Oun Sui Leng, A. Alagesan and Loh Soon On their answer to the final question of the buzzer quiz, in which they were asked to match coloured balls to numbered tins based on clues given. Looking on is quizmaster S. Sivakumar (second from left).

Perak
THERE is always something new to be learnt from a stimulating competition such as the RHB-The Star Mighty Minds challenge. For example, the students in this state picked up the fact that China is the biggest rice producing country in the world, and that the most famous racquet sport is table tennis. In fact, those were the questions that got the students and quizmaster K. Sivashankar most boggled as almost none of the teams managed to get the anwers right!

Nevertheless, the team from Malay College Kuala Kangsar (MCKK) showed that cool heads give mighty leverage when they were crowned the champions in the upper secondary category. MCKK teacher, Les Suzina Jamil said the competition was a good exposure for her students as it is a platform for them to practise public speaking. “My students may be good in their studies but they are not as good in public speaking. The oral presentation challenge was a good test for them,” she said.

Lower secondary winners:
SMJK Sam Tet, SMK Anderson, SM Raja Dr Nazrin Shah

Upper secondary winners:
Malay College Kuala Kangsar, SMK St Michael, SMK Sam Tet

Sabah
St Francis Convent students Kirane Anne Tangau (right), Charlene Chee and Georgina (left) with their wheelchair model for their hands-on challenge. They traversed the hills and streams to come to battle it out at the state capital. Indeed, students from schools in remotes areas such as SMK Nabawan and SMK Pitas at the Pensianan district endured journeys as long as seven hours before they reached Kota Kinabalu to participate in the competition.

For others, it was a challenge of a different kind when a group of Form Four students, who just formed the team five days before the competition had to battle against their older contenders. Lady luck was smilling on them when Adam Abdul Rahman, Jerry Mclean Jonis and Rifhan Irdina Jupri from SM Sains Sabah came out as champions in the upper secondary category. [Edit : I know we were pitted against 100+ teams instead of 60, but this news is a bit depressing =( ]

“The idea was for this team to gain experience so we had no expectations of them winning,” said teacher Mohd Sham Sidek, adding that the school also sent its team of fifth formers who had been preparing for the competion for several months. Jerry attributed their win to the indispensable resources available on the Internet. “We surfed the Internet to read up on the the RHB-The Star Mighty Minds challenge events that have been held in other states so far this year,” he said. He said his team focused on the questions that were posed to the participants previously as a strategy to help them win.

Meanwhile, students from SM St Francis Convent emerged victorious in the lower secondary category. They exceeded the achievement of their predecessor team which took the second spot in the competition last year.
“Initially, we were hoping to get through the first and second rounds,” said Georgina Tai. “After making it to the top five, we then realised that we might have a shot for the top spot,” she added.

Lower secondary winners:
SM St Francis Convent, Maktab Rendah Sains Mara Kota Kinabalu, SM St Michael Penampang

Upper secondary winners:
SM Sains Sabah, SM La Salle, SMK Limbanak

Kedah
Lower secondary winners (from left) Tan Wei Wen, Yeo Mi Xia, Chew Khai Yi and upper secondary winners (from right) Ooi Ting Qian, Ng Yu Yang, Choy Wang Lynn, jumping with glee.

Lower secondary winners:
SMKJ Keat Hwa 1, SMK Agama Yan, SMK Sultan Badlishah

Upper secondary winners:
SMJK Keat Hwa, SM Sains Sultan Mohd Jiwa, SMJK Sin Min

Penang
Lower secondary winners:
Penang Chinese Girls High School, Chung Ling High School, Chung Ling High School

Upper secondary winners:
Penang Free School, SMK Tinggi Bikit Mertajam, Chung Ling Butterworth

Selangor
IF THEIR counterparts in the 13 other states had it tough, Selangor contenders of the RHB-The Star Mighty Minds challenge had it doubly hard. The reason: entry was open to 120 teams per category in Selangor instead of the 60 teams in the other states. Which meant that there were two big groups of students who sat with nail-biting tension as they witnessed the first batch get slaughtered in the MCQ quiz. It was the survival of the fittest, and students who could think quick and act fast qualified for the subsequent three rounds of the competition. Students who were well read breezed through the MCQ quiz as some questions on general knowledge, such as the number of Harry Potter books which have been released as films certainly did not faze them.

“I read up on general knowledge and browsed through a few IQ books to prepare for the competition,” said Yeow Liiyung, 16, from SMK Damansara Jaya.
Oh really? Heh. XP

However, some of the teams fumbled when the judges upped the ante during the buzzer quiz challenge. There were a few aspiring doctors among the finalists in the lower secondary cagetory, but alas, none of them knew that doctors have to take the Hippocratic oath before they begin medical practice.

This question stumped the finalists during the final buzzer quiz: Sammy comes from a poor family. He works as a mahout to make ends meet. What does Sammy do? When the buzzers stayed silent, the quizmaster offered the following clue: You can find mahouts in Thailand and Sri Lanka. A participant’s answer of “male gigolo” [edit : this was Yew Leung's answer] had the audience in stitches!
It was not all about the battle of wits either when the students had a practical task during the hands-on challenge. The lower secondary students constructed a waterfall using rainwater as a water source while those from the upper secondary built an electromagnetic bird cage.

Lower secondary winners:
SMK Taman SEA, SMK Seksyen 3 Bandar Kinrara, SMK Seksyen 1 Bandar Kinrara

Upper secondary winners (the awesome survivors =D) :
SMK Taman Melawati, SMK Damansara Jaya (T2), SMK Damansara Jaya (T1)

All champion teams from both categories won RM3,000 and a desktop computer for their school. Prizes for the first and second runners-up were RM2,000 and a digital camera (school prize) and RM1,000 and a colour printer (school prize) respectively while the third and fourth runners-up won RM500 and RM300 respectively. The nationwide competition, where teams of three compete in two categories — lower and upper secondary — is jointly organised by Star Publications and RHB Banking Group. The food and beverage sponsor is McDonald’s Malaysia. All 14 state champions from both categories will now come together at Berjaya Times Square on Oct 16 and 17 for the national finals to battle for the grand prize of RM6,000 and the right to be called the country’s “mightiest minds”.

Catch the students in action by tuning in to ntv7 at 7.30pm on Wednesdays.

Jackpot : Triple DJ Win!

2010-08-08T20:06:00.041+08:00

The number on our control said 24. We were laughing about colour blindness; our tags were orange when we were supposed to be in the Red group. Sitting there, waiting nervously for the competition to commence, I started praying.

I remembered Mighty Minds F123 in 2009 as a failed attempt to prove our mettle in the nerdy world of general knowledge, science and maths. This year, entering Mighty Minds F45 as puny Form 4s who have not (and never attempted to) cover even half the syllabus, it was only natural that we only expected to break into the hands-on activity and die there (or maybe not even break at all). In a nutshell, it was all supposed to be a learning experience for us so that we can (theoretically) terrorize everyone else next year. We came in green; we had virtually no coverage of physics beyond chapter 4 F4, no experience of chemistry knowledge starting from chapter 7 F4, and had the holy mindset of "Who cares? Screw Biology!". Only a miracle could get us through Round 1 at this point. Now, aren't you extremely curious about how we fared throughout the competition?

(Pauses to eat McDonald's Sausage McMuffin)

Well, in case you were wondering...or maybe not... YES, we DID survive Round 1. In fact, we had the 2nd highest score on the scoreboard (heck, 2 other teams had the same score too). Technically, we came in 5th for the entire round, losing out on time no thanks to our remote control, which "hanged" halfway. We didn't realize it either, until we saw our team's number on the screen, which prompted us to start flailing our hands in the air. So how did we do it, given that we came in with empty heads? Hey, the questions were all based on general knowledge and IQ questions, y'know. Seeing how walking talking encyclopedias existed in my group, we did pretty much alright. So, yes, we survived the ordeal with 130 points. Highest was 140 points. Don't laugh, general knowledge would be your killer if you're a textbook person.

After that, we had a quick brainstorming session with the Form 5s (who ALSO broke through) and Pn Loo. Feeling satisfied, we walked into the arena to face the gargantuan task of creating an unknown object using maths and science principles. Everyone has heard of making a volcano, carrying out electrolysis, creating a fan, and other stereotypical stuff. Call us shallow, but we've just never heard of making a birdcage which depends on "an electromagnetic system to trap the bird and a buzzer system". It took me some time to actually come to terms with what we were making. One of the major setbacks during this stage was the mindset that kept screaming "You can't do this! How on earth can you come up with something as big as that?".

Like it or not, I had to face it. The fact that I was team leader and my teammates depended heavily on my barking instructions was not of any help - it just increased the pressure on me. There was this egging feeling behind my head which kept telling me that I was wrong in whatever I did, making matters worse. The first thing I did was set Melanie to start building the cage, with Shu Wen's temporary help - WITHOUT ANY ELABORATE INSTRUCTIONS. That was, by far, my stupidest mistake.

Meanwhile, when the mistake was still unnoticeable, I took it upon myself to think up of the science concepts and how to incorporate them into the cage. Electromagnetism was something everyone learnt back then in Form 3. Even then, it took some time to figure out how to "detect" the imaginary bird and sound the buzzer, while simultaneously trying to reason with myself if creating a binary circuit was better than a separate circuit. If you must know, time management was such a pain in the neck. Due to my tendency to think more than take action, I wasted a whopping bulk of 45 minutes perfecting the concepts, while Melanie built the model, which turned out to be horribly unstable.

I spent at least 10 minutes "sightseeing" and realised that we were losing out on stability. Being highly fickle-minded, but knowing that something needed to be done, I was extremely disappointed that I did not try to change the model from there. Instead, I spent the next 15 minutes helping Shu Wen test the concepts and perfect the circuit structure. With 20 minutes left to go, we were satisfied with our separate circuits, which were considered very reliable, foolproof and idiotproof. All that was left now was to incorporate the systems into the model. But there was one problem....

We had no model.

See the direness of the situation? No? Take a look around you and you'll see cages standing strong and steady in every direction.

...I once read about this team that came in champions somewhere in the beginning of the year (or was it last year?). Apparently, their model was a failure too, until their leader decided to turn fate around within the last 7 minutes. Here, I had 20 minutes with my group. That was when I decided it was time to make a turning point. It was an idiot's job. I spent another 10 minutes twisting and turning our existing model and viewing it from different angles. In case you didn't know, our model was not even half done, with missing walls and an invisible roof. It finally led to me turning the cage upside down as it was, surprisingly, more stable that way. Then, I dabbled with theoretical concepts...

Our model did not use the extremely easy criss-cross concept like what other teams had done. Thanks to the fact that our base (now the roof) was square, I got Mel to criss-cross 4 ice-cream sticks and just place one set of it on the supporting sides of the square. We were lazy (and most importantly, running out of time), so I told them not to bother sticking the roof on - it was just placed lightly. Another criss-cross ice-cream stick set was used as the extraordinarily unconvincing door. Last but not least, where the hell do we get our base from?!?!

One obvious fact was that it was extremely risky to bother making a base at this time of crisis (it was now less than 6 minutes to the end of the world). So, what I did was humourously place our model on the aluminium foil provided. And stuck it to the sides of our failed model. And poked the jutting wooden chopsticks through the foil to "strengthen" it. With less than 4 minutes left, I told Shu Wen and Melanie to beautify our very ugly model while I cleared the table (it was part of the rules - points were also allotted for this).

We were forced to abandon our dear model by leaving the arena. It was really heartbreaking to see other teams' cages standing strongly on the way out. Of course, on the plus side, we were really happy to see our Form 5 counterparts' model looking good. I was moping, so Shu Wen became my eyes and noticed that many teams did not use the electromagnetic concept. Pn Loo then stated her disappointment with our team, saying that we should have concentrated on the model first, concept second. Then, there was the issue on time management, which I listened to guiltily. Our Form 5 team was used as a great example of teamwork. Convinced that we had lost in this round, I resorted to "forgetting everything" and just enjoying the chicken burger McDonald's provided. Talk about amateur depression.

Shu Wen's mother, Pn Loo, however, suggested that we try to come up with a draft for the oral presentation so that we can get to know our model better (or see how horrible it really is). It was no wonder that we were laughing our heads off when the judges took a look at our model. They were messing around with the buzzer and had a good time opening and closing the door, which was pathetically attached loosely to a rubber band acting as the trip device to close the door. No doubt, they DID look amused, but we interpreted it as them being tickled by our model, which was too funny and comical to exist in a serious competition like this. I met Yew Leung and we caught up a bit on old times while joking that our model was meant to catch clumsy penguins before playing hangman. There were a lot of really amazing hangman-solvers, as seen amidst us.

Soon, it was time to announce the final 5 teams, according to ranking.

The first team to qualify was (if I'm not mistaken), Blue 15, or B15, from SMK Taman Melawati.

The second team to qualify was R24, a.k.a. Red 24. I looked around to see which team would be bathed in glory as they made their way into the arena once more.

None did.

Then, Shu Wen screamed directly in my ear before I realised that our lame, aluminium-foil-wrapped, removable roof and unattached door model beat 28 other teams to clench 2nd place in the hands-on round. Turns out that it was the concept that was more important than the average aesthetic model. Suddenly, I was washed with enthusiasm and was so glad that I concentrated on the concept rather than the model (though it was risky job). Glad that our electromagnet was working well =D

What followed next was a blur. All I know was that R23, our other DJ team also made it, along with Yew Leung's team from Taman Sea and the USJ 12 team. Each team had to pick a ping pong ball to determine the order of presentation.

A = USJ 12
B = DJ (Team 1)
C = DJ (Team 2) - Us!! =D
D = Taman Sea
E = Taman Melawati

We had to line up somewhere nearby the stage, next to a very distracting dress shop *cough*Mel*cough*. Oral presentation was a letdown. Once again, I talked really fast and stumbled many times to catch up with my running thoughts. Yes, I talk fast, but it's considered VERY slow compared to my thoughts. Dumb, huh. Mel ended up talking for only a few seconds. Time management fail. On the other side, Shu Wen shone out as a debater. Oh yes, Team B (our F5s) did really well - you don't call 3 of them debaters for nothing.

Either way, we didn't die yet. We still had the buzzer round to go. It was during this stage that us Team C people really stood out. I managed to get a streak of correct answers towards the end, which cushioned us from falling back. The final question was the bonus, worth 6 points. Of course, if you get it wrong, you only lose 1 point. This, to me, was really really worth it. Mel saw some freaky sudoku concept in the question as she worked the question out based on a diagram. Shu Wen and I remained baffled since we worked out everything by statement form. When Mel said she was done, I quickly risked tapping the buzzer. After all, if we get something correct, we might get between 1-6 points. If we get something wrong though, we have an extra 6 points to cushion a tiny 1 point. Awesomeness.

Taman Sea presented their diagram after us, which was an obvious sign that we had gotten something wrong. They only presented halfway when the judges told them that they were "satisfied" in the second diagram. After them was our counterparts' team, which also got stopped during the second diagram. Teams D and B didn't get any points, though. Instead, 2 points were awarded to our Team C for getting the first 2 diagrams correct. We lost out on the 3rd diagram due to ignorance of detail...but it was still worth it, was it not? Better than nothing, definitely.

Fancy stuff and redundance aside....

5th = USJ 12
4th = SMK Taman Sea
3rd = SMK Damansara Jaya (T1)
2nd = SMK Damansara Jaya (T2) =D
1st = SMK Taman Melawati

The feeling of winning something like this was dizzying for us all. I just couldn't believe that a Form 4 team would be able to dash the dreams of all the Form 5s taking part in the competition. We came as preparation for next year and ended up winning 2nd place by accident. The fact that we beat our own fellow Form 5s came as a shock. Oh well, miracles, miracles.

Melanie, Me, Shu Wen

Well, thank you, Shu Wen and Melanie!!!!!!!!! You guys rock!! Without you, none of this would have happened. We've come a long way since suffering from the Birdcage Syndrome of fickle-mindedness. Forgive me for my shortcomings, I'll promise to do better next year. =)

Meanwhile, on the other side of Subang, Harmonix Youth Choir rocked the stage at Subang Parade to win first place (finally)! Well, I can't be in 2 places at the same time, so yeah. Congratulations to HYC too!

Good job, DJ. 1st, 2nd AND 3rd places achieved at state level. What more could our admins want to brag about? Y'know the answer =D

Oh yes...on a lighter note, I think someone from SMK Taman Melawati took my mechanical pencil. If any of you are reading this, I'm just going to point out that that's my favourite pencil and I want it back =P

A Friend To The End

2010-04-16T00:35:00.008+08:00

Today, my best friend enters a new world
A world where people don't fight
Over which language Science and Maths should be taught in
Suddenly
I am overwhelmed,
bombarded by thoughts of feeling small,
insignificant,
in a place where no boundaries exist.
The horizon has expanded
beyond the description of plain words.
My heart grows heavier,
longing for the freedom that beckons yonder,
in a land where dreams materialize
and success is crafted.

(Ignore amateur work)

If it were anyone else in the world, I would be deeply inconsolable to put up with such good fortune. I've never actually felt this happy for anybody before, or so relieved to know that she's going to have a much higher chance of achieving a lifelong dream we've both shared since our younger days. I didn't even cry last night, which was the last time I saw Alexandria in Malaysia as a kid, ready to take on the world by masterminding a genocide where everyone dies of laughter....and I wondered why.

Alex, if you're reading this, remember that poem one of your schoolmates wrote for you, the one about how you're still closest to the heart even though furthest away? Well, that's how it felt. In fact, I didn't even feel that I've lost you to your new country. You were flying miles away, but yet I felt that I still had you with me; that I was almost sharing this life with you.

Or maybe you were so close to me that reality hasn't sunk in yet. 'Cause now the tears are stinging my eyes and I can't believe that you're really gone.

But somehow, I still feel your presence here with me (I hope I'm not turning schizophrenic). And it's going to help a lot. I'll meet you somewhere in one of our target workplaces, even if it means putting up with THOSE few things I hate. Call that a promise.

Flurry Of Events

2010-03-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

Oh finally!!! The opportunity to blog is here! And because I've not blogged in a long time, there's just too much to say without knocking you out. It started out with my birthday on M6 Saturday, which I conveniently spent watching Roland contestants trying very hard to not screw their pieces up. I would've wanted to watch to gala as well, but decided not to in the end, thanks to some circumstances. We went to Hakka at night and had a great dinner. Of course, all these mean that I just wasted one whole day by not studying and cramming stuff up my head.

Ok, I admit it.....so I DO feel like protesting against exams now. I guess I flunked History, but it's the first term anyway. And the accursed Moral paper!! Ever since that Wednesday, all our Batai papers after recess have been coming extremely late, no thanks to teachers who keep forgetting our poor class. We started our Moral paper 10 minutes late, but ended it without adding 10 more minutes. History repeats itself for the next 2 days.

On M13 Saturday, we were at the ABRSM convocation. The event just happened too fast for my senses. Of course, there were very few Malaysians in the sea of SEA people. Heh. For all I know, there were many SMART people from Raffles Institution (from Singapore, in case you're very blur).

I hope you're happy with this vague account of what happened in the past week. I know I'm not.

Answer To A Puzzle

2010-02-26T15:56:00.004+08:00

You are given 6 balls and a weighing scale. 2 balls are defective and they weigh less than the other 4. You are only given 2 weighs (you can only use the scale twice; taking off the balls don't count). Find out which are the defective balls.

Remember, it's TWO defective balls, no typo.

Aaaaaaaand I've got great news for you, reader! I'm going to reveal the answer to this puzzle!!

Warning: If you're not really into abstract thinking, be prepared to get really lost in your thoughts....

(Press the "read more" button at the bottom of the post).

The first step you must take is to put 3 balls on each side of the scale. You might be faced with 2 scenarios, as the scale can either be imbalanced or balanced. I will start with the imbalanced scale first. I'll number the steps to prove that it can be done in two weighs (2 steps; you can use the scale twice), and so you know what's going on.

Imbalancedor Scenario 1
This tells you one thing: both defective balls have to be on the same side, otherwise it would appear as a balanced scale (one on each side).

1. Your first step (as shown above) would be to put 3 balls on each side of the scale. If it turns out imbalanced, remove all 3 balls on the heavier side, because you can bet on your life that there are no defective balls there.
2. Move one ball to the empty side (you removed 3 balls from there in the first step), hold one in your hand, and leave one the scale untouched. [If you're following the illustration above, move the black (shaded) ball over the empty side, hold the peach ball and leave the unshaded one where it is.]
Balanced: Both balls are on the scale
Imbalanced: The one on the lighter end of the scale is defective. The other one is in your hand.

There! The first scenario completed!!

And things get really messy now........refer to the diagrams as often as possible to avoid getting confused.

Balanced
This type means that there is one defective ball on each side of the scale.

1. Remove one ball from each side.

There are two possibilities after step one: the scale can either stay balanced or become imbalanced. I'll tackle the balanced one first.

Scenario 2(a)

Balanced = Both defective balls have to be EITHER
a) One on each scale
b) Both removed, and are on the ground now

Step 2(a): Switch ONE ball from ONLY ONE side of the scale. [Illustration: Switch the blue ball on the scale with the blue ball on the ground.]

After switch
2. Imbalanced (the side you switched got LIGHTER): You replaced a normal ball for a defective one. BOTH DEFECTIVES WERE ON THE GROUND. Story ends here for this scenario.

2(a) Imbalanced (the side you switched got heavier): You switched the defective ball with a normal one. The pink one is normal.

2(a) Balanced : Defective ball is pink.

[How do I know?? Because both defectives have to either be on each scale OR both on the ground.
1. If both were on the ground, the scale would have become imbalanced right after swapping the blue balls, because that's what happens when you switch a heavier ball with a lighter one.
If the ball you swapped was defective itself, then BOTH defectives MUST have been on the scale (one on the other side) and the 2 balls on the ground MUST be normal. You would have caused the scale to become unbalanced, because that's what happens if you swap a lighter ball for a heavier one.] More on this in scenario 2(b).

Still in step 2(a): You now know the type/condition of at least ONE ball from ONE side. In every scenario (except the one where "the story ended"), remove ONE BALL FROM EACH SIDE to find the other side's defective. Please rely on your imagination and common sense for this one.
(Eg: Remove the defective and another ball from the other side. If the scale is balanced, you know that you're holding both defectives. If scale is unbalanced, you're not stupid enough to not be able to tell which side is heavier or lighter.)

Scenario 2(b) [right afterstep 1]

The scale became imbalanced because the type of balls you swapped were different from those on the ground. Whatever the case, the lighter side has one defective, the heavier side has 2 normals. Remember, both defectives CANNOT be on the lighter side or you would've got scenario 1.

Step 2(b): This step is NOT related to step 2(a), so no switching of balls is involved. Remove both on the heavier side and shift one over to the now empty side OR remove one ball from each side.

Ta-daaaahhh!!! Now I hope you were smart/not blur enough to digest all that. Happy moping.

Multi-Millionaires' Dogs

2010-02-20T15:49:00.007+08:00

You know Pacific West? That company that sells seafood stuff (and advertises a lot)? Apparently the owner of that company is my father's best friend. (Now I know where to get free and good food)....

Awesome, right?!?! And he has my favourite breed of dog, imported from Australia, costing 5000 bucks each. Border collie, the smartest breed of dog, stays inside his gigantic house and runs up and down happily. And it seems that the Fuzzy's trainer got fed up of training it because it doesn't listen to him. Maybe Fuzzy only prefers to listen to its one and only family. But he was very friendly to my mum and I, allowing us to pet him. He was wary of my father, though, and kept barking at him.

At least Fuzzy isn't some jittery, hyperactive dog (like Silkie) or a Pitbull Terrier. I've found that Pitbull Terriers have been banned from Switzerland (or maybe the whole Europe?), as they're very strongly built and are aggressive. And once they get angry, the only that can stop them is a bullet. Then, they die and you find out that there's no point rearing them (you need to have a license to rear them anyway).

Back to Pacific West....no, we didn't get free food, but we DID get free lunch during some reunion among 5 long lost friends, including my father and the President of PW.

And we went into his house, wholly designed on the basics of Feng Shui. It was really nice and had an antique feel to it (there was a lot of wood). But my favourite part of the house was the dog running around us. *Grins*

Bleep?

2010-02-19T11:24:00.006+08:00

You would notice a "Read more" button below. Click it.

You've seen the magic before, so stop wasting your time!

Of Nutjobs and Nerdjobs

2010-02-15T11:50:00.007+08:00

It's the new year!!! And I have a lot of things to say....or not. Well, the main thing is that school is getting annoying.

And so is blogging.

(That was anticlimactic, no?)

Fine, so school isn't really getting on my nerves. It's whatever that happens within school, concerning the junky homework plopped onto my desk everyday. And with people like me who are programmed differently, homework ranks very lowly on my list of priorities. And it doesn't help to note that all those on the same frequency as I am are leaving this accursed country and the screwed-up education system. Now I feel like I'm just some sad, lifeless zombie doing schoolwork day in, day out. I can't stand the prospect of looking back at my life 20 years later and saying, "Wow, I sure did a lot of homework last time!"....Of course, people call that nerdjobs, but I call it plain nutjob. Sometimes, I wonder why students don't just go all out in full force and not do homework. Come to think of it, if everyone including the good students don't do homework, it wouldn't actually be considered wrong to not do homework anymore, seeing that teachers trust good students a lot.

I'm talking too much nonsense, so enough of that....Happy Chinese New Year to all those who celebrate it. Mathematics is fun, but when you get tons of the same thing EVERYDAY, the excitement just wears off. So now, Maths is really dull. Batai won the interclass debate.....and there's nothing to blog about. Either that, or I'm simply too lazy to post anything up. Honestly, life isn't boring me yet, but coming up with something to entertain you guys is. So I'm going to stop here. And I expect you to stop here too and ogle my blog template.

Ouch?

2010-01-16T15:46:00.005+08:00

I know it's a fortnight late, but nevermind, I'll just summarize some key events that happened since New Year's eve, which I did not even elaborate on.

1 Jan '10, Fri
I finally did something I've always wanted to do : watch fireworks while listening to 1812 Overture. I got sick in the morning with a sore throat and a disobedient nose.

4 Jan, Mon
I've always had the premonition that I might go into 4 Batai, and I did--with all the other English freaks!!! Gheek, Shu Wen, Daniel, Tim, Mel, etc....sigh, all those smart people squeezed into one class. I was elected as class treasurer (and I think people actually regret it). All I do is terrorize the class and steal their money. I got 6 mosquito bites in Lab 2 alone....and I thought Mel was supposed to be the mosquito magnet. Got a random nosebleed without warning in choir later in the afternoon.

5 Jan, Tues
Found out about 4 Batai's special status. Apparently, there's a joke the teachers share among themselves; they call us "non-halal", because there are no Malays in our class at all. Of course, we students have jokes too, our specialty being the class monitor, Zhi Chung. All the teachers who taught our class made the same jokingly sarcastic comment, "Are you sure you chose the correct monitor?". Pn Sharon confessed that she's afraid to ask Zhi Chung to do anything, since he "always looks so sad". The irony was that she told us that after sending him off to get a pile of books for the class.

7 Jan, Thurs
Class collection since 6th Jan : RM1186
See what I meant by "I terrorize the class" now?

8 Jan, Fri
Signed up for all those crappy extra-curricular activities.

9 Jan, Sat
MWGC held their one-year late annual dinner. My father invited Mr Heng to go along.

12 Jan, Tues
Applied to enter prefecthood once more.

13 Jan, Wed
Aunt from Amsterdam came over.

14 Jan, Thurs
Had a very screwed up Nostalgia meeting, which ended with a freaky plot to cut our 2010 year short. Apparently, the Datin is leaving this July and would appreciate the production of the magazine to be done by July. In her masterplan, all the school events would be crammed between now and June; there would be nothing going on after that period, unless the new principal has something funny in mind.

15 Jan, Fri
Introduced the class accounts and money objectives.

Today: Teeth. Braces. Bite. Ouch. (You don't need elucidation on this one).

Warm Up

2010-01-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

Hi, people. Here's something easy to warm you up before school starts.

Here goes....

You are given 6 balls and a weighing scale. 2 balls are defective and they weigh less than the other 4. You are only given 2 weighs (you can only use the scale twice). Find out which are the defective balls.

You have 2 defective balls and there is no typo. Yes, this is easy for most of you, but then again, maybe not.

Remember, there are 2 defective balls.

To Close A Decade

2009-12-31T00:02:00.020+08:00

This might be waaaaay longer than last year's report, as I'll be combining the school's and year's report. If you want a comparison to last year's report, I might say that this year's one sounds more to the point and isn't injected with feelings. One thing's for sure, this year cannot beat last year, whether I write this report with feelings or not.

If 2008 was the year of revelation, 2009 is the year of progress. I'm saying this because I've probably accomplished more things than I did in the past 14 years of my life. The word "disappointment", as I've so often mentioned in the previous year was replaced with the word "obstacles", which later transformed into magical "stepping stones". If I had heard about legendary beings achieving the impossible in 2008, 2009 is the year I meet them up front. If they could open my eyes to my world last year, they also brought me into theirs this year.

It wasn't just the achievements I've made this year, it was the new faces I've met and the colourful experiences they shared with me. For this, I would like to thank the unseen powers above for placing me in 3 Batai, along with many of my long-separated best friends. And what was my first impression of my new class? One word: indescribable.

I quickly realised that while 2 Batai 08 commanded the highest level of competitiveness, 3 Batai was the quirky class, the one whose students steal the spotlight when it comes to general knowledge. Looking at it from afar, we have all sorts of people in the Batai lineage, and the 2009 batch is no exception. (Though there has been speculation that Angsana contains the lala genii, Balau the kiasu ones, Belian the quiet students and Cengal with bimbos.) Even our form teacher completes the picture with her signature quirkiness. She's definitely a teacher I would never forget.

Pn Nomi, sigh. She's just so annoyingly entertaining that I'm not sure if I actually miss her now. She rubs the whiteboard with her bare hands, then wipes her face; she constantly moves her mouth up and down like she's chewing something; she stares at us until we can see the whites of her eyes; she stands on one foot when teaching; and she sounds freaky when saying "Aaaaah?" questioningly. Some people claim she looks like a fish (although that itself is an insult to fish).

But most memorable are the punishments she gives to students. Poor Shafiq had to smile with his 2 thumbs up for 1 hour; Shafiq and Wan Jyn had to click their tongues for 30 times outside the class before she let them in again; she made random students recite the malay "sajak" with intonation (which every student failed to do convincingly). The worst experience came when she let our class out very late for recess when the boys didn't answer her who the prettiest girl in class was.

Yes, that's her. If she isn't weird, I don't know what is....

On the third day of school, I became class treasurer after 2 people resigned from the post. It's actually quite a fun job controlling the class's cash flow (minus the Pn Nomi factor). You see, once I've completed/almost completed collecting the money, she comes up to me and tells me that the money is unnecessary because the books are not ready, not needed, yadayadayada.....Only Madam Tan was able to think rationally at harsh times like these (Treasurer's advice, anyone?). More on the first week of school here.

Aaaaah, Madam Tan...she used to grumble at our class and compare the 3 Batai souls to 3 Belian. She must've previously preferred 3 Belian to us, since they speak an extra language and are very quiet people. She encourages activities outside the schooling world and emphasises general knowledge (scroll down the post). The Maths and Science quiz tested us exactly on that. When the results were announced, 5 out 6 Maths and Science quiz winners came from our own class.

From then on, 3 Belian constantly complains about Madam Tan's wrath.

Friends : They are those people who sit with you in class and talk non-stop until the teacher accuses you of being "a bad student" and blacklists you.....

That was how I described friends last year, also people who mope around with me when I'm down. This year's definition is, however, slightly tweaked. Friends are those who give amusing reasonings to prevent me from moping (like "if you lose something now, you'll gain more later"). Prevention is, after all, better than cure. They are also probably more successful in the art of talking, often managing to escape the teacher's list of "talkative students". They all look like angelic teachers' pets on the outside, yet talk behind their backs. Eg: Jessica still hasn't left a mark on Pn Nomi eventhough she constantly mimicks the dreaded woman wiping her face when moving her mouth.

I know that this year, I cannot really mention names of those who have shared their time with me, simply because there are too many of you, and missing out one person's name wouldn't be very nice. But before I start about my class, I'd like to add something the Balau-ans came up with for one of their essays. For all you know, it could inspire you to no end. And then there is the formation of the IBM gang, which greatly extended my social circle.

I'm now going to touch on the students in my class. Bless all these jokers and sporting people who rocked the class.

When a new game was introduced by our Moral teacher to encourage memorising the stupid values and their definitions, every student had to write a punishment on a piece of paper and place it into the "Punishment box". Who would've thought that soon, Jon Zhen will be dancing with the broom, Natasha would give a sarcastically touching speech about "Why We Love Pn Nomi", Sha Lynn would have to recite the sajak based on Pn Nomi's intonations, various people would have to donate to the class fund and poor souls would be star-jumping along the corridor outside the class? (The sajak, speech and star-jumping courtesy of yours truly). *Grins*

Chingx, remember the first Science lesson in the lab, when both of us thought recess was 1 hour and entered the lab 15 minutes late? There was also a time when a gigantic bee disrupted our History class, prompting Pn Noor to step on it (and making Cassandra scream about animal cruelty). Do you guys still remember that time when Delon and Wan Jyn got into a brawl?(in one of those crappy weeks) ....Okay, maybe that's not worth remembering. Then there was that time when Cassandra dropped my Maths quiz trophy and made the metal corner drop off. Everyone was shocked when I shrugged it off, put the metal corner back on and thanked her for allowing my trophy to make special clicking sounds (it makes a sounds when you press it now).

And there was also that recess when Chingx, Jessica and I met Gheek fooling around in our classroom, killing Delon's bottle and wetting his table. Although Wilson wasn't in the classroom that time, he came back claiming "Oh, I did that last time!!!", thus clearing the 4 actual culprits (5, plus Zhong-Yuen, who joined in later). Looks like Wilson forgot that water evaporated after some time......and I will never ever forget the abscissa experience, the deadly time zone when I feared Madam Tan the most. (I thought she was going to fire at me in front of the whole class for that nonsense).

It's too bad that Pook Yi Cai went to England a few weeks after PMR. But come to think of it, "Once a Batai-an, always a Batai-an". Through all our ups and downs, we can finally boast to the world that we faced most of our class problems as one, with integrity (although we need to stand strong together when facing politics).

To view 3 Batai '09 pics :
1. Formal 1
2. Formal 2 (unprepared)
3. Candid candid
4. Posing candid

Speaking of these kind of amazing achievements, one of my most amusing personal experience came from the Roland '09 piano competition, when I was actually in the same building as Sarah Brightman *grins*. Then, choir tops the list for school this year. We went further than we'd expected to, beating schools like Catholic High School and Seafield (although Seafield admittedly caught up in the later half of the year). But times are going to be pressing in 2010, especially since I got insider information that BU4 was actually supposed to win this year's district level. DJ, beware. We've already yielded to BU4 in cheerleading, which is supposedly DJ's best turf, apart from debating (people actually respect us, man!!).

Then, there's scrabble too. But no point talking about that, eventhough I exceded my expectations a whole lot. At least now I know I shouldn't just "let it slide" no matter what the circumstances are. "Keep fighting" would have been a more appropriate stand. *Smacks head* Oh, then there were the straight As for the public exam, but that's not worth bragging about, since the school standard is way higher. Surprisingly, I got 4th for DJ's Got Talent (soloists don't recieve much of the audience's enthusiasm) and surprisingly got 2nd for Einstein Factor.

Nostalgia was supposedly "Revolution"arized, since there would be more pictures than words. Of course, to make the "revolution" have some impact (or maybe not), this year's edition is also the first to be released a year late. Bravo!!

But what I remember most between the achievements and setbacks was the mind-blowing letter I wrote to send to the newspaper about making English compulsory, which they obviously did not publish, or it would spark national outcry =D. Then, I wrote about nonsensical dudes (including Anwar), who asked for Maths and Science to be reverted to BM.

There weren't many setbacks this year, except maybe for the semi-finals interclass debate, whereby our preparation was sucky, unlike the previous one. In MnM, we like to think that a glitch killed our points (which was actually true), but the 3rd party obviously expects a more humble approach. In Jan, I decided to become a prefect once more--only to pull out the next day because my parents didn't encourage it on several stands. And of course there's the Interact Club complication too, where I successfully attended one meeting. Now I've got to start all over again next year.

I had to juggle most of my time with choir, piano and stupid exams since March. MAC popped up last minute and I had to arrange a darned music score in 3 days. Choir only managed 2nd place in the state level, which was a big disappointment, since everyone expected DJ to win. And then, there was no jackpot position this year, too, which eeriely resumed last year's positions on the basis that my art marks were extremely sucky. KH too. But surprisingly, I got highest for Moral, the subject which I so openly condemn. Fortunately, the marks didn't change my views on the subject. I still hate it.

Moving away from school, Adam Lambert, the greatest contestant in American Idol history (in my opinion), lost to the dark horse Kris Allen in American Idol 9. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, passed away to a better world on Cassandra's sister's birthday (their house also got broken into on that day!). There was a solar eclipse lasting for approximately 8 minutes (the longest eclipse in a loooong time) on July 22nd.

Then, there was the most controversial death in Malaysian history, whereby Teoh Beng Hock, the political aide to Ean Yong Hian Wah, was allegedly tortured to death in the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission) building. They tried to get him to lie about a crisis involving the Selangor state funds. Dr Porntip testified on his death on the 21st of October, and proved our darkest fears. And there was also the Xi'an trip, where I met some really funny people (Mr Heng). He "testified" on my father's camcorder's indecent circumstances and made complaints about our tour agency, Yangtze.

I think I've rattled on too much, so I'll wrap things up now. All in all,
I'd like to thank all those who've supported me this year, because you guys did a good job. Considering all the circumstances I've faced in this year alone, it's amusing to know that I rarely lost my cool. It was a great year from all aspects, the best thing being meeting the new faces that would last me a lifetime.

"There You'll Be"
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life

When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always.

Keep up the good work, and see you in school next week. Hopefully, I'll see you guys in the same class too!! (I'm amused you read this far).

Cheers,
[Signature]
[Insert name]
Treasurer (currently cum secretary) of 3 Batai 2009.
(Heh, I've always wanted to this).

Silence

2009-12-11T11:35:00.004+08:00

Silence is golden, they say. It implies agreement.
It suggests an appeasing personality.
It links fragile filaments of ideas; and destroys tha container of sanity.
It stands for approachability, but earns enmity.
The brave think twice in it's presence, while the overlords pull off without opposition.

Silence deafens the loud.

Imagine living in a world where you should "just be seen, not heard"; a place where all your thoughts and brainchildren cannot be told to those around you; somewhere where it is considered rude beyond anything that exists to hear your very voice.

(Of course, some believe that this could only be possible in a Chinese household and the Malaysian government, but that's beside the point.)

There are many situations we are put in that doesn't entitle us to an opinion simply because the person issuing the orders are older than us. No suggestions can be made (unless you like to be called "big-headed"). You're said to be too smart for your öwn good just by expressing your thoughts about the situation, or coming up with ways to improve it.

Let's face it, those issuing the commands take standing up and speaking out as a threat to their (already all-too-powerful) position. So we, as the little people who cannot make decisions, must remain silent. Nobody wants a killer "ventriloquist doll" sent out to finish them. I'm saying this because the "ventriloquist doll" is just some stupid puppet carrying out the orders from a hidden, unseen force. And this unseen force is the actual bane of our overactive brains.

Don't fret...I'm sure that if you don't experience this at school level, you'll read about it in the newspapers. And you won't be happy.

Tongue-Sharpening

2009-11-29T15:25:00.003+08:00

I'm sure we're all wondering (or maybe it'll just be my future self) what I did for the holidays. Well, just like you, I eat, sleep and breathe. Very honest answer, but you're not interested in that, are you? (Neither am I). Don't worry, I won't be writing anything that eeriely sounds like your biography. Instead, I'll be focusing on one of my disgusting hobbies, which involves the tongue.

Look at the post title once more. If you're exceptionally blur, you would probably picture a nutcase stuffing her tongue into a sharpener (I pity you people). For those with a more scientific approach, you'd probably think that I prefer eating tough food to train my tongue, thus making it sharper. While those sound like ~~stupid~~ amusingly interesting activities to do, I have to admit that I'm actually a very boring person. You see, all I do is let my tongue clash directly with others' (NOT french kissing). Just as warriors fight with their swords, I go for battles with my tongue. (Trust me, I'm not strong enough to fight against someone brandishing a sword). But the tongue does have its advantages.

Like the warrior, I can be capable of inflicting serious damage upon my opponents, with nothing but the edges of a swift tongue. More advantageous than the bow and arrow, the tongue can shoot words and strike the hearts and minds of it's target without ever missing a shot. With the grace and intelligence of the magician, the colourful words casted by the tongue are able to manipulate any situation. To conceal meanings and create disillusions would be just as easy as the thief's deception and evasiveness. With the words of the tongue, you can build a fort to block yourself from the dangers of the outside world, launch rockets into the sky or mastermind a massacre.

Now that you're familiar with the background of the tongue, you can finally motivate yourself to carry out intensive sessions of tongue-sharpening like me =D. And how do you do this? Well, I lash out at unsuspecting victims (I expect no less from you)...Let's face it, the more sharp-tongues there are around, the merrier. So now, I will introduce a list of insults you may use to replace your maledictions. No more expected "F you!"s from our readers. It's time we get a little creative.

Sticks and stones break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
[Keep this in mind, you’ll need it]

(Warning : thinking required) (I'm saying you're not smart enough to read the following)
1. I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it before.

2. You must have a very low opinion of other people if you think that they’re your equals.

3. If we were to kill everyone who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder. It would be genocide!

4. Even your best friend lies to you and cheats on you. And that’s the best friend you’ve got.

5. You’re a prime candidate for natural deselection.

6. I think you have a room temperature IQ.

7. Aliens zapped that dude with a stupidity ray—twice.

8. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Don’t worry, I told him not to act like a fool anymore.

9. People say you are the quintessential idiot. I don’t think you’re perfect, but you’re definitely on the right track!

10. We always know when you’re lying. Your lips move.

11. Your voice is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

12. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent and cultured.

13. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious, and you are all of them.

14. Max : I’m bored.
You : Keep talking, I’m getting there.

15. Tina : I think this dress looks great on me...
You : It’s okay. You don’t have to be so sarcastic to yourself.

I'm sorry, I wanted to add more (I have a longer list up to 50+), but I'm trying to get this on the school magazine. *Grins* It's so easy to make you upset. =D

Before you throw eggs at me for the incomplete list, *sticks out tongue and wags it*, I would like to wish everyone good luck at sharpening their tongues. If you're still blur on what I do up 'til now, please make sure your brain isn't in power-saving mode (I'm calling you stupid). Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can't take all the credit for myself (another insult, proving that I'm not the only one making a monkey out of you and calling you stupid).

For The Brave

2009-11-22T15:25:00.001+08:00

Hey humans! Glad to see that this blog is finally making some progress. For convenience, all authors will tag themselves (or their code names) on their posts. (You can defy my galactical order for all I care). For me, I'd prefer to go undercover as LazyBones. Resident Loudmouth, I've tagged you as "louder", or rather, LoudR (Louder than the average Joe). Feel free to change it, though. I was just messing with your name. *Grins*

Anyway, I wanted to dedicate this post to a friend who's going down to Singapore on a scholarship. Here are a few tips for him to stand out among the crowd on the first day of school (or any other day, for this matter). Hopefully, he'll get into enough trouble for the principal to send him back home. Go, Ryan! I know you have the guts to do these!

Freak the class:
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean...."

2. Wear earmuffs to class. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

3. When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."

4. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Li Qi Zhun. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.

5. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

6. Address the professor as "Your Excellency".

7. Shout "WOW!" after every sentence. (I know you're very capable of this)

8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Ryan. Claim that the "N" is silent. If it's Smith, claim that the "I" is silent.

9. Treat everyone in the classroom like alien ambassadors and claim that you're heading an alien council. Say "Greetings" to everyone you meet. When the professor enters the room, below "Tremble before me, you puny Earthling!!!!!" Remember to rise ominously from your seat and point an accusing finger at the professor.

10. Spend the entire lesson blowing kisses to other students.

11. Stand to ask questions. Use a very strong English accent. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the teacher answers.

12. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.

13. Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell. Claim that "the end is coming" every few minutes.

14. Laugh like Daffy Duck while clapping your hands vigorously. Don't forget to jump around for added effects.

15. Sabotage and point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student's name, rank, and serial number.

16. Claim that you see viruses thriving on your teacher's clothes. Offer to help pick out the viruses and keep them in your pocket. Complain later that the viruses are multiplying....

17. Sneeze on students in front of you and wipe your nose on your tie (or collar).

18. After walking into the classroom, clutch your chest and scream "MY PACEMAKER!"

19. When talking to your friends, gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a random person and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

20. Wear a "virtual reality" helmet and strange gloves. When someone talks to you, turn in their direction and make throttling motions with your hands.

21. Mention in passing that you're wearing a rubber underwear.

22. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.

23. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, "Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CAN'T HEEEEEEAR YOU!"

24. Growl constantly and address your teacher as "matey".

25. Devote your math lessons to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask your teacher to "sit back and groove".

26. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.

27. Breathe like Darth Vader. Talk to an imaginary "angel" on your right shoulder. Address your classmates as your "minions".

28. Start a food fight in the canteen.

29. Twitch a lot.

30. Move your mouth when you're silent and move your mouth as little as possible when you talk.

Freak the roommates:
1. Fake a heart attack in the room. When your roommates get the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.

2. Always flush the toilet 3 times.

3. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

4. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

5. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

6. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

7. Talk to yourself loudly in front of your roommate. After a while, begin discussing your roommate with yourself.

8. Complain of having a terrible virus in your system and cough at your roommate frequently.

9. Tell your roommate that it's your birthday--every day.

10. If you get in before your roomate, go to sleep in his/her bed.

11. Take your roommate's pillow and put a water ballon inside of it.

12. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.

13. Call safety and security whenever your roommate turns up his/her music.

14. Follow him/her around on weekends.

15. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.

16. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.

17. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.

18. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.

19. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.

20. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.

21. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.

22. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Where am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."

25. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."

26. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native- American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.

27. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

28. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.

29. Walk and talk backwards.

30. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances. Constantly mutter "....the mothership is coming..."

The Winning Edge

2009-11-13T10:08:00.006+08:00

Debate is a time to let your creativity (or insanity) shine.

Things to do during an intense debate :

1. The first impression is always the most important. Give a powerful impression by starting like this : "...Hey, y'all! Howz'it goin', peeps...G-g-g-good morning to the adjudicators - all of whom I've bribed, the amazing timekeeper who can reverse time and work it to my advantage, my UNworthy opponents, my dogmatic cronies and their underhand tactics and members of the floor - *mumbles* who would be much better off ON the floor, instead of on chairs...."

2. Use the names of your country's top leaders. If you're up for it, mimic the way they talk for a greater effect.

3. Claim that you're a necromancer. Pause for a few seconds and stare straight into your opponents' eyes. Start laughing hysterically and talk in a high-pitched voice. Claim that you're now a puppet of Hitler and that you're out to take revenge.

4. When introducing your whip, say this "....and my whip will be whippin' those asses across the room who dare oppose us!!"

5. Do your entire speech in another language. Scream "Me no speakee Eeengreeesh!!" when questioned.

6. Clap twice after every 45 seconds to confuse your opponent. Deception is the keyword here.

7. Hum Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture the moment the debate starts. When any of your teammates POI, scream "Fastforward!!" and sing the climax as loud as you can.

8. Try to get everyone in the room to do the wave.

9. Talk to your imaginary friend named Bob in the middle of the debate. Bang the tables often so that everyone will pay attention to what Bob has to say. Say that they need medical attention if they can't see or hear Bob.

10. Make paper airplanes out of your debate notes. Aim them at your opponents' nostrils.

11. Convince everyone that you are actually a Bzk from planet Bzagoog. Make unintelligable noises for added effects.

12. Always say that your motion of the day is "This House Believes That The Chicken Crossed The Road". Don't correct yourself. Once a man has a plan, he sticks to it.

Creative POIs :
How to POI :
1. Get all your teammates to sing the ascending C major arpeggio. The 2nd speaker ALWAYS POIs for a fancier effect. End the POI by singing the descending C major arpeggio. Time is precious. Eat your opponents' time.

2. Rap when you give a POI. People love music.

3. Stand up abruptly and go on ranting about how your opponents' points conflicted with your religious beliefs.

4. Talk about Mao Zhe Dong and his life whenever you POI your opponents.

5. Claim that your opponents have used a seditious term/phrase. Bring in a lawyer as witness and file a law suit immediately.

6. Bring in cheerleaders to pressure your opponents.

7. Say : "Sir, I am actually a mediator between the President of the United States and the people of the world. The President has given orders to say that......"

8. Say : "I DEMAND that you grant me this POI, or I'm telling Santa Claus that you have been verryyyy naughty....*Grins evilly*"

9. "The aliens of Bzagoog has initiated contact with you EARTHLING SCUMS in this debate. Answer me, or I will go to your house and be "not so nice"."

10. Get all your teammates to hit the table as if it were drums. Get a tribal beat (DUM dum dum dum, DUM dum dum dum) and make your 1st speaker do a war cry similar to that of the Red Indians.

How to deny POIs :
1. Form a gun with your first 3 fingers. Bend 45 degrees to the side and say squeakily, "Denied." Do this until someone tells you to stop.

2. Look around you, bewildered. Say that you "heard a voice but can't see anything". Mutter something about the wind and continue with your speech. If your opponents are persistent, run around the room in circles to "get rid of the bad spirit".

3. Stare deep into the eyes of those who dare interrupt your speech. Say angrily, "I. Am. Thirstyyyy.....". Then, continue as if nothing happened.

4. Mock them as much as you can in a singsong voice : "I can't heeeeeeaaaaaaaar you...." Cover your ears to be more convincing.

5. Look about frantically and collect all your papers. Say that the double-zero agents have found you and that you need to leave the country immediately.

6. Shout "I have the secret documents!!" and shift the topic to the world-domination blueprints you've found in a rabbit-hole. Go on to claim that you have saved the world from a Bunny Invasion. Take all the credit for yourself.

7. Bring in a ventriloquist doll. Whenever you're POI-ed, lift up the doll and turn it's head slowly to face everyone in the room. Make the doll laugh and say that it "protects" you.

8. Start chanting the holy phrases. If you are continuously disturbed, sit on the table and strike the meditation position.

9. Switch the topic to fashion and say how good your opponents look. Mumble something about "that horrible watch the adjudicator is wearing".

10. Claim that your opponent has violated the laws of the universe and that he/she should not speak, or else a black hole will form in the center of the room.

11. Bring a water pistol into the debate. Shoot them with it and say, "At it, boy! Sit! Sit! Yeeeee-ha!!"

12. Throw water at them and shout "May the power of Christ compel you!!"

Written by Lazybones on Wewriteanything.

The Ultimate

2009-11-10T23:15:00.003+08:00

As a form of dedication to my 200th post :

"u ruined my life
crushed my sanity
senilised my brain
halted my thoughts"

The above was quoted by Ghee Ken when he could not figure out the answer to "What makes the sound Meow-blub" after 3 days.

Anyone want to guess? What makes the sound "Meow-blub"?

Better Late Than Never

2009-11-04T22:33:00.004+08:00

The title is to remind you that a long-overdue blog post is better than no post at all. Thanks to a holiday brimming with scenery, you have a very looong post filled with pictures (not many words this time, rejoice!!). Here are the links to the post:

Changsha 1
Changsha 2

Please note that you are encouraged to enlarge the pictures in a new tab (because it's going to take you a long time to load back to the post itself).

The Best Week Of My Life

2009-10-24T23:24:00.014+08:00

I thought I was not going for IBM's IGN.I.T.E. camp, but it turns out that I was accepted later. Lucky thing, because this is THE BEST CAMP in my entire life.

Monday 19th October 09
Had a really heavy breakfast before reaching on time. I saw in the front row with one half of the DJians (they were split) and then we had the introduction to IBM and IGN.I.T.E.. I saw a few familiar faces during the break but only managed to register Rhonwyn, who turns out to be in BU's choir team. Ryan Khong was there too.

After that was a game session, in which Gheek gained recognition in. After that was an ice-breaking session where we introduced ourselves with an adjective in front of our names. We were introduced to our project of the week, which was to build a robot to perform environmentally helpful functions. We were split into 5 groups and I ended up in group 5 with Shu Wen , Soon Len, Dafinah, Chin Yang, Hariz, Ee Vonne and Rhonwyn; Soon Len being team captain. We called ourselves NanoDiversity.

There were subgroups within each team consisting of 2 persons each. We were in charge of different things:

Hardware (building the robot) : Soon Len and Hariz
Software (programming) : Chin Yang and Dafinah
Industrial (designing city) : Rhonwyn and Ee Vonne
Marketing (talking nonsense) : Shu Wen and I

Lunch was held in One World Hotel's buffet restaurant, Cinnamon. I was supposed to be very full, but the food was so good that I ate my dinner in advance as well. Lunch remained as 1-2 everyday for Shu Wen and I, the sad presenters of team 5. We created our IBM "pass" after that before exploring the IBM interfloor office tour. After a long day, we were quite tired when given a talk about how to go green and how students can contribute. I only regained enthusiasm after Shu Wen started on solar flares and I continued the nerd talk.

Overall, not much interaction with other IBMers yet.

Tuesday 20th Oct
We started with Games Session, whereby group 5's answers were epic fail. That was followed by a break. The mentors were introduced after that and we proceeded to play Power Up, an online game to save the environment.

Now, the worst thing about Power Up was that it was in 3D. And Shu Wen and I suck really badly at games like that. We were supposed to play it for 1 and a half hours and the pair with the highest points win. Shu Wen and I played this game for one hour and our points remained as ZERO. Other people had more than 2k points by this time. Then, Kendrick started walking around randomly as he had a headache. Long story short, he helped us and in 25 minutes, we had a score of 3180. Yay us! Thanks, Kendrick!

We enjoyed our glorious lunch before heading off to prepare our project (which lasted well until we went home).

Wednesday 21st Oct
I started getting to know other people today, as a result of my quirkiness. We were split into 2 big groups; one group would start with the canopy walk first (the BU and BU4 gangs), the other (Taman Tun Dr Ismail and DJ peeps) would start off with stream sampling first [which is very bad in this case, because we would get wet first]. We found that this was quite untrue, as the stream was only deep enough to cover our feet. We were further split into 4 groups to ease the job of the poor woman in charge of us. I caught an extremely big water spider which turned out to be a nuisance to my team (consisting of DJ stereotypes who were still shy of mixing around). Someone had to keep watch over the damned spider in case it escapes.

Then we started the climb to the canopy walk (which was only 150m in length; very anticlimactic). Shu Wen and I attempted to irritate our guide to make her bring us there faster. Hint : "Are we there yet?" Unfortunately, we missed our target and irritated a fellow camper instead. We spotted a centipede on the way and scared a bunch of foreigners. There was this cute English boy who kept saying "Konichiwa" at us.

There was a horrible climb to the canopy walk and I lagged behind with Sofea. In case you didn't know, both of us were enjoying the scenery while you were struggling with all your might. =)P. Anyway, we reached there to find that everyone was still lining up and wishing that they hadn't climbed up so fast. (I know, I'm mean). I was talking a lot of nonsense with the campers behind the line, who were mostly TTDI people, with the exception of Gheek, Soon Len, Naomi and Mona (the gamemaster-cum-ex-disciplinarian).

Gheek started telling Jian Min (from TTDI) and Siti the Ping Pong Ball story, which we lied was a "joke". Their anxiety level kept increasing as there were many interruptions during the storytelling (we were walking on the canopy walk that time). Gheek finished the story at a resting site. Both Siti's and Jian Min's reactions were worth watching, though not as bad as Gheek's own reaction when Sha Lynn told him the story.

On the way back the H3, our resting headquarter, I somehow ended up stuck with Sutheshan and Jian Min, both from TTDI. The jokers were debating on whether this person in front of us was male or female. "It" had long hair but was dressed like a guy. Sutheshan (somehow, more commonly called "T") guessed it was a girl while JM said it was a guy. The 3 of us then tried to make the poor soul turn behind so we can judge "it" better. Then, I got ditched when both JM and T ran away, but I guessed that it earned me the excuse of being able to walk nearer to "it". After much investigation, I came to a conclusion that it was a girl. I managed to find the nuts and reported my findings. Not believing me, they started walking really close behind the English people (could identify their accent). They found that I was right and started laughing like maniacs. Sutheshan crapped about the air being "too fresh" that we must "breathe all we can". Oh goodness, what an impression we must have left on the 2 Englishwomen.

There was a treasure hunt after lunch (more like Answer hunt). We were somehow split into 4 different groups again. My group was *ahem* the BEST group ever! Considering how much we've done during the treasure hunt (we didn't do anything, actually), it's still a miracle we managed to get points. Our team's name? Awesome Laziness! (courtesy of yours truly!). We didn't came up with a name until the last few seconds before we were supposed to hand in our answer sheets. What were we doing when other teams were scourging for answers? Walking backwards to make ourselves taller and trying to slide down a steep slope. Yay us.

It started raining drizzling at the end of our discussion, so we couldn't present our findings of the stream sampling. It is quite ironic that while we remained completely dry throughout the day (except our feet), we got drenched the moment we reached the hotel. To put it literally, we were all wet at the end of the day.

Thursday 22nd Oct
Started with a talk about careers in IBM which lasted up until 10. Break. Project preparation and lunch, followed by a very interesting game session. We had to entangle ourselves by holding other people's hands randomly. Apparently, Gheek and Chin Yang didn't know the rules of the game. Both of them held each others hands and formed a circle of their own. Another time, 3 people had another mini circle and detached themselves from the bigger picture. We kept restarting again and unfortunately, due to unknown reasons, I had to keep squeezing in between other people's hands. Very smart planning, people! (Spot the sarcasm). Surprisingly, we won 2nd place. Considering how sucky we were, it's considered a great achievement.

The day ended with project preparation again.

Friday 23rd Oct
Doomsday. Long story cut short, NanoDiversity won!! Our prize? a Sony Walkman for each person in the team. *Jaws detach* Kendrick from team 1 went back early to fly off to Turkey.

There were many photography sessions after that. I won't elaborate much on this, except that this is the best camp I've ever been to. Not only were the activities fruitful and fun, the people were highly interactive and we established many new friendships. Aaaaaand, to prove Chin Yang wrong, we're all still keeping in touch on Facebook!

Since I'm eating up a lot of space on blogger (thanks a lot, pictures), I will just give the link to the IBM pics. Click HERE.

But amusingly, this was not the end. I just earned a new title called DipABRSM on Saturday morning. *Grins*

Dr Death

2009-10-22T20:47:00.002+08:00

This was taken from themalaysianinsider.com :

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 21 — Thai pathologist Dr Pornthip Rojanasunand told the coroner’s court this morning that there was an 80 per cent probability that Teoh Beng Hock’s death was homicide and not suicide, and suggested that some of his injuries were sustained before his fatal fall.

Under questioning from Selangor state lawyer, Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, Dr Pornthip testified that the political aide was indeed alive when he hit the ground but added that he was unconscious, judging from the lack of injuries to his wrists and ankles.

She explained that if he were still conscious when he fell, there would have been “reaction wounds” to show he had instinctively tried to stop from hitting the ground.

She said that Teoh’s injuries showed he could have been strangled and that he sustained anal penetration before he fell to his death on July 16.

Dr Pornthip added that Teoh could have passed out as a result of the strangulation or from the pain from injuries to his anal region.

She told the court that the likelihood that Teoh had committed suicide — the theory previously put forward by the two pathologists who examined Teoh’s body after death — was only 20 per cent.

The stunning testimony made by the forensic expert, who gained international prominence from her work in identifying the 2004 Asian tsunami victims and more recently in the death of Hollywood star David Carradine, appeared to suggest Teoh was assaulted before his death.

Using a graphics presentation, the 54-year-old who has carried out over 10,000 autopsies over the last 27 years, told the court that not all the injuries sustained by Teoh were consistent with those caused by a fall.

The anal tear, which she described as a “penetrating injury”, appeared to have happened before he fell.

Dr Pornthip noted that the tear measured 6cm-wide by 2cm-long.

She rejected the idea that the anus was penetrated by a bone fragment, which had been put forward by local pathologist, Dr Khairul Aznam Ibrahim from the Hospital Tengku Rahimah Ampuan in Klang.

She reasoned that if that had happened, the force would have punctured the area opposite its entry and not as what was shown in the autopsy photos taken.

She suggested that they were caused by an object inserted into Teoh’s anus from a bottom-up direction, which she indicated with a blue arrow on a picture slide projected on a white screen in the darkened courtroom this morning.

“This kind of injury, I’ve not seen in cases of fall from height,” the director-general of Thailand’s Central Institute of Forensic Science (CIFS) said.

However, she could not say what the object was.

She also said that the depth of the tear was not measured or mentioned in the autopsy report.

Dr Khairul had jointly written the autopsy report with Indian pathologist Dr Prashant Naresh Samberkar who is currently based at the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur.

Several stripes on Teoh’s upper thighs, just below the buttocks were also pointed out as inconsistent with injuries caused by a fall.

Dr Pornthip suggested the horizontal lines were the result of a beating with a stick.

She added that if she had carried out the autopsy on Teoh, she would have cut open the thighs just under the skin to check for internal bleeding in order to confirm her theory.

She also pointed out several “round” bruises on Teoh’s neck, which could mean “manual strangulation” by fingers.

Her lengthy explanation on Teoh’s neck injuries was peppered with graphic references to her own case studies of strangulation victims.

The skull fracture on Teoh’s head, she said, was not typical of an injury from a fall, but more compatible with the result of blunt force applied directly to the skull.

“I found contusion on fracture line, so the fracture could be caused by blunt force injury directly on skull,” she said, explaining why she disagreed with Dr Khairul’s and Dr Prashant’s theory.

The two doctors who performed Teoh’s autopsy had previously put forward the idea that the head injury may have been caused by the momentum of the landing.

“For transfer of force, (you) only find ring fracture at base of the skull along (the) spinal column, not a linear fracture and not a cervical spine fracture,” she added.

She said that her assessment was based on Teoh’s autopsy report, the photographs of his injuries and from snapshots taken at the site where his body was found.

Dr Pornthip who had earlier suggested that Teoh may have been dragged before he plunged to his death told the coroner’s court after lunch break that she no longer held the view.

In her testimony earlier, she had contradicted Dr Prashant’s idea that it was caused by the impact on the ground.

She explained that she had been allowed to view the original pictures of the shoe, which are of a better quality than the copies she had been provided, and confirmed that the marks on the sole were indeed caused by the impact when Teoh landed on the hard and rough ground feet first.

She told the court she would like to carry out her own autopsy on Teoh, but magistrate Azmil Muntapha Abas who is acting as coroner in the inquest, indicated that it may be too late to do so at this stage.

Dr Pornthip had also previously sent two assistants to join the court to survey where Teoh’s body was found on a 5th-floor landing outside the offices of the Selangor branch of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) in Plaza Masalam here.

Teoh, who was the political secretary to a DAP state executive councillor, had been questioned overnight on July 15 to help an ongoing investigation into claims his boss had misused state funds.

Dr Pornthip was engaged as an expert witness by the Selangor state government.

She had been among the first names suggested to carry out a joint autopsy on Teoh, but was rejected by his family whose reasons remain unknown.

Earlier, she told the court that she had conducted over 10,000 autopsies in her career, of which more than 100 dealt with fatal falls from high places.

She estimated Teoh to have died between 6am and 8am on July 16.

So, what conclusion have you come to now?

Teasers

2009-10-19T22:02:00.003+08:00

1. How quickly can you find out what is unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing is wrong with it at all-- and, in fact, nothing is. But it is a bit odd. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without any coaching. No doubt, if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. Who knows?

2. It is in a rock but not in stone,
It is in marrow but not in bone.
It is in a bolster but not in bed.
It's not in the living, and not in the dead.

3. A group of campers have been on vacation so long, that
they've forgotten the day of the week. The following conversation ensues.
Darryl: What's the day? I don't think it is Thursday, Friday or Saturday.
Tracy: Well that doesn't narrow it down much. Yesterday was Sunday.
Melissa: Yesterday wasn't Sunday, tomorrow is Sunday.
Ben: The day after tomorrow is Saturday.
Adrienne: The day before yesterday was Thursday.
Susie: Tomorrow is Saturday.
David: I know that the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
If only one person's statement is true, what day of the week is it?

Posterity Demands This

2009-10-17T00:18:00.001+08:00

Halal

Slovak Sling

Potong Saga

Healthy Paranoia

Once

2009-10-14T17:05:00.005+08:00

An early rest was what I got,
Before that day of gloom,
But sleep just could not cure the thought,
Of facing a lifetime's doom.

In school we held our faiths together,
To hell's mouth in a show of strength,
Thankfully, we got some hope and prayer,
Instead of dying hanged.

A feverish scent was no consolation,
For our underpaid, overworked hands,
Little did we know it would haunt us again,
Really, that sanitizer stank!

Darth Vader was suddenly feeling kind,
And decided to give blue masks to us,
To face off challenges that we would find,
Or maybe just to mend his blunders.

BM was on the average side,
Paper two remains the worry,
English did nothing to balance my pride,
An average revenge does not seem worthy.

Maths still ranks as number one,
Let's pray no carelessness be found,
Science in paper one was fun,
But subjective makes me down.

Geography's a happy subject,
The answers have been leaked,
While History might not be perfect,
I'm sure I was not (that) freaked.

KH was alright I told myself,
Let's hope I'm not surprised,
Bets I've made to console myself,
If I'm sad I'll get a prize.

A day has passed without my knowledge,
Whereby I've gone obsessively insane,
This is what exams do to those my age,
But now I won't complain.

It's hard to believe that here we are,
Winning a war of pointless wit,
From wrecks of ruin we've come so far,
Forget the past 'cos we've made it.

Note : I did not scream "Merdeka!", as I have initially planned. If I did that, I would be labelled The Extraordinary Idiot. Unfortunately for you, that's not what I want.

Waste Your Time

2009-10-13T18:17:00.003+08:00

You have not made your interesting observations on this topic yet.

Mind you, even if you do not have a blogger account, you can still comment (oh, there's this new feature in my blog where comments appear on the same page as the post).

He Can Think For Me

2009-09-26T23:23:00.004+08:00

Written by Dr. Azly Rahman (I'd be happy if he became Education Minister)

Contrary to many an opinion of Malaysian linguistic nationalists, I do believe that English language can be a powerful force of revolutionary change - and a language of Malaysian unity primarily.

Bahasa Melayu has its own dignity but do not have the power to become a language of post modern science and technology. In its current form, Bahasa Melayu is being destroyed by its own internal contradictions and suitable only as a language of literature and Malaysian bureaucracy.

Everytime it tries to transform itself into a language of science and technology it become closer to becoming yet another periphery of the Center; it becomes subservient to the English Language. Why English language is a lingua franca can be explained by its ease of transformation. Philologists have written extensively on this phenomena.

Bahasa Melayu is fast evolving into a language of Ketuanan Melayu abused for political reasons. Language is an expression of culture and helps construct the social reality of that culture.

The phrase "kedaulatan Bahasa Melayu" is not a necessary slogan. No language has a dimension of Divine Sanctity unless it is pegged to the concept of "kerajaan" or the maintenance of this or that status quo however oppressive it may be.

In this case, no race in Malaysia is challenging the dignity of the Malay language. I believe it is merely a political play.

Malay linguists, academicians, and literary figures are now jumping into the bandwagon of defending the "dignity" of Bahasa Melayu.

However, they may in the end be bringing the kampong kids back into the kampong when they grow up. Ignore them.

Parents wanting to see the progress of all Malaysians must understand the importance of the English Language and to master it while at the same time respect the status of any language including the Malay language.

Parents must demand that schools teach Maths and Science in the English language. In fact schools should also teach Sejarah Malaysia and Pengajian Agama Islam, and also Pendidikan Moral in English.

To erode the influence of Ketuanan Melayu and to start thinking of being Malaysian and to start asking critical questions about history, teach the subject in English.

It is a liberal enough language to accept many points of view. To achieve inter-religious understanding, teach Agama Islam and Pendidikan Moral in English. It is a language liberal enough to accept religious differences.

Respect Bahasa Melayu but master the English language. The latter is also a language of global unity and of advanced science and technology.
-Dr. Azly Rahman

Supporting Baki Zainal, Against Khairy Jamaluddin

2009-09-22T23:51:00.003+08:00

"Explain why trees around the semen factory have a low rate of photosynthesis".

Choice answer number 1 : Well, firstly, there aren't any "trees" around the semen factory, unless I have been sleeping for 200 years and don't know anything about the human anatomy. As far as I know, sperm cells thrive there. Not trees, man. Definitely not trees.

Choice answer number 2 : I strongly believe that the poor plants that made it there out of bad fortune simply did not receive enough sunlight.

Both seem highly commendable answers to counter the state paper. Yes, JPS and the Selangor State Paper. Now, what was that about english in Malaysia again?.....

We Are Famous

2009-09-18T15:50:00.006+08:00

If you go to 15malaysia.com (or scroll down) and see the movie Meter starring controversial politician Khairy Jamaluddin, you would notice that our school SMK Damansara Jaya is part of the background in the 2nd part of the movie which is about English. You would be able to see Blocks A and B and also part of our hall. =D

The Final Piece

2009-09-09T16:33:00.002+08:00

Apart from my horrible English marks (which will definitely make most of my classmates happy) and the stereograms below, here is something to keep everyone occupied. This is what Melissa asked me to do a few weeks ago, and I finally did it.

Dynamic Thinkers

Dynamic Thinkers are confident and independent persons. They radiate enthusiasm and energy. Dynamic Thinkers pursue their objectives actively and energetically. They love nothing better than new challenges. This type is the born leader, competent, energetic and responsible. They have a sharp eye for errors and can criticise without mercy if they see the success of a project endangered. They are completely unconcerned as to whether they alienate anyone in the process. But they are always open to objective arguments; they love discussions, they are very gifted rhetorically and they are good at convincing and enthusing others.

As they are very sociable, Dynamic Thinkers like to have a lot of friends around them, preferably those with whom they can share their interests and discuss all sorts of subjects. They are very direct but never in an underhand or scheming manner. If you can bear being spoken to frankly, you have in them a loyal and unwavering advisor as friend. Everything new and unknown stimulates Dynamic Thinkers and awakens their curiosity. However, rules, routine and traditional things arouse their resistance. If something does not go the way they want it to, they can react rather pigheadedly and obstinately.

Some of history’s most famous military leaders were not just coincidentally Dynamic Thinkers. Leadership is simply in your blood. You are self confident, energetic and determined to reach your goals and if it is up to you, there won’t be any shilly-shallying. You are equally important in your work efficiency and effectiveness. Strategic planning, long term considerations, creative problem solving, and absolutely exact case analyses are some of your strongest points. The quotation “I came, I saw and was victorious” (Caesar) could also be written on your flag. You comprehend even very complex situations quickly and completely, and immediately issue comprehensive instructions on how they must be dealt with.

The extroverted part of your personality provides you with excellent communication capabilities plus a certain charisma, making it easy for you to engage other people in your objectives. With all that, your visions are not limited to the existing and the contemporary, but frequently extend far into the future. For your professional satisfaction you need these objectives like you need air for breathing. You especially enjoy intellectual challenges and don’t care for victories too easily achieved.

Since you belong to the extroverted Thinker types, working in a solitary environment is not for you. In order to be happy, you need to be in the company of people, with new excitement and tasks plus a little action. Although this frequently provides for a great output the human (all too human) needs of your colleagues could easily end up being ignored. As an intuitive Thinker type, you are always focused on the objective of your task and the welfare of the company, respectively. You quickly have the number of those who are not disciplined and performance-oriented and prepared to work equally hard on the task.

Dynamic Thinkers expect a great deal of themselves and of others. Whoever does not fit in with their scheme of things does not have it easy. They sometimes appear to be rather severe due to their frankness. Partners and family also find it difficult to satisfy Dynamic Thinkers. They know exactly what they want and compromising is inconceivable to them. Whoever has an Dynamic Thinker as partner should have a strong personality and have a great deal of independence and sufficient self-confidence in order to give this dominating type some opposition. Normally, for Dynamic Thinkers, a partnership only takes second place after their profession. But they like to have someone at their side who is a match for them intellectually, with whom they can pursue mutual objectives and have interesting discussions all night long; preferably factual discussions - sentimentalism and romance are not their thing.

There is no question: You belong in every respect to the born leaders among the personality types. Other types may doubt, be insecure about what they expect from life and their partnership - you don’t. You know what you want and take care to get it. This may have a intimidating effect on others and occasionally it will even be described as arrogant. Therefore, not everybody is going to chance approaching you as a potential partner, and you don’t find anything wrong with that. You prefer to be the conqueror rather than be conquered.

Besides, your demands of a potential partner are so high that the majority of the people around you would not qualify, anyway. You don’t like to compromise and, where love is concerned, you are not the least bit prepared to negotiate. You prefer to patiently search for someone who really fascinates you. But once you‘ve found him/her, you can fall in love head over heels and very passionately - a rare quality in a Thinker. However, even in this case, after the first rush is gone, your cool strategy subjects the relationship to a comprehensive examination, and quickly and decisively terminates it rather than put up with second best. It is not for nothing that literature likes to describe your type in military terms such as “general” or “field marshall”!

As a very self-sufficient person who has no problem being alone, and who appreciates his/her space, you really don’t care if your search for the perfect partner takes a little longer. Being so autonomous, you should look for someone who comes from a similar mold and who can deal with the fact that you are going to defend your independence like a lion even in a partnership. Not all types can handle the fact, that they may be an appreciated part of your life but never are going to be its only center. You have too many of your own interests, including your career.

Dynamic Thinkers are also known as ENTJ people. Traits according to importance (different types have varying importance), eg INTJ people [Chingx, this is you] have iNtuition on top. For more information, click HERE. Chingx, this website also claims that we should be good pals. =)

Extraverted Thinking
"Unequivocating" expresses the resoluteness of the ENTJ's dominant function. Clarity of convictions endows these Thinkers with a knack for debate, or wanting knack, a penchant for argument. The light and heat generated by Thinking at the helm can be impressive; perhaps even overwhelming. Experience teaches many ENTJs that restraint may often be the better part of valor, lest one find oneself victorious but alone.

Introverted iNtuition
The auxiliary function explores the blueprints of archetypal patterns and equips Thinking with a fresh, dynamic sense of how things work. Improvising on the fly is something many ENTJs do very well. As Thinking's subordinate, insights are of value only insofar as they further the Right, True Cause celebre. [n.b.: ENTJs are capable of living on a higher plane, if you will, and learning to value individuals even above their principles. The above dynamic suggests less individuation.]

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing reaches out to embrace that which physically touches it. ENTJs have an awareness of the real; of that which exists. By stilling the engines of Thinking and iNtuition, this type may experience the Here and Now, and know things not dreamt of nor even postulated in iNtuition's philosophy. Sensing's minor role, however, puts it at risk for distortion or extreme weakness beneath the hustle and bustle of the giants N and T.

Introverted Feeling
Feeling is romantic, as the ethereal as the inner world from whence it doth emerge. When it be awake, feeling evokes great passion that knows not nuance of proportion nor context. Perhaps these lesser functions inspire glorious recreational quests in worlds that never were, or may only ever be in fantasy. When overdone or taken too seriously, Fi turned outward often becomes maudlin or melodramatic. Feeling in this type appears most authentic when implied or expressed covertly in a firm handshake, accepting demeanor, or act of sacrifice thinly covered by excuses of lack of any personal interest in the relinquished item.

Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, self-confident, ambitious, direct, open, severe, organised, determined, witty, independent, purposeful, dynamic, energetic, optimistic, competent, responsible, clever, intellectual, enthusiastic, demanding, structured, controlled, aggressive

All in all, I sure sound like a slave-driver here!

The test was taken from HERE. Enjoy.

PS : I apologise for any slave-driving traits of mine. Note that I did not mean it. =)

Mysterious Appearances

2009-09-07T14:01:00.012+08:00

There was a mongoose in school last Friday (yes, it's a bit late to inform you about that, but better late than never). Okay, so I think it's a mongoose. It looked like a mix between a squirrel, weasel, dog, otter.....Anyway, Melissa googled 'mongoose' and the images came out close enough. But 'weasel' looks almost alike as well. And, there are pictures of dark-coloured weasels too. Weasels have bushy tails but the creature we saw had a sharp-pointed tail. Confused?

Let's just say we saw a weagoose/mongsel. If you're dissatisfied with this, let's initiate a wild goose chase for the creature (hehe, wild GOOSE chase, geddit?...).

Meanwhile, I'll try to annoy/amuse you with stereograms (magic eye images). Hint : try looking THROUGH the pictures and not AT it. Try crossing your eyes as well. If you're still not catching on, try glueing your eyes to the screen, then slowly move further away....

....or, if you're still lost, the first step you should take is ENLARGE THE IMAGE in a new tab.

This is the easiest one

Be careful, this is the hardest image:

And finally, the last image to mock all of you!! (yes, there IS an illusion in words). Take your time.

Note: I've added some cool commenting interface on a test run. You might want to help out by writing crap comments for this post to see if it really works. After all, I want to know if you could actually see those images (or whether you're just imagining weird things). Who cares if we're all strangers, tell me/everyone exactly what you saw in all 5 images and let's compare answers. Thanks.

You're Not That Bad

2009-09-03T16:32:00.004+08:00

Most of us aren't that happy with our science results, so here's some scientific "facts" to cheer you up. Of course, I hope that none of you actually adopt these answering techniques, because I cannot 100% guarantee a pass. However, I can guarantee that you are definitely smarter than those who placed these answers (unless you cannot see anything wrong in the following).

These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests (which you should NOT follow).

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if it's a lady, rub her arm above the hand. Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.

Equator: a menagerie lion running around Earth through Africa.

Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is so that there is something to hitch the meat to.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating. [this guy is going to do well in college! *haha* ...Lj]

Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

Lime is a green-tasting rock.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.

We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.

Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

The wind is like the air, only pushier.

The Ugly Past

2009-08-29T23:17:00.012+08:00

The following is a "history" collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot of incorrect information.

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe (many of you might not know this, but his third ship is called Santa MARIA). Later, the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and this was known as Pilgrims Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal for them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest president. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan (this is in no way related to Abraham Lincoln) would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show (if you are confused, a moving picture is an animation, so the actor could not have assassinated Lincoln unless he jumped out of the animation). The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

I am not responsible if you have stored any incorrect information in your head. The author here apologises for any inconveniences. Perhaps you either try brainwashing yourself or get Yi Cai to sue me.

*Here's the catch : Almost every sentence has a mistake in it. The reds are just a few obscured favourites. You might need an encyclopedia for that matter (or for other sentences). I can't make everything red, right? If you didn't notice that pyramids were called "a range of mountains", or that Christopher Columbus was "cursing about the Atlantic" when he was supposed to be "cruising about the Atlantic", whack yourself on the head. As for Clue Clux Clan, I need someone to educate me.
Academicians, have a good laugh.

Did You Know?

2009-08-28T20:09:00.005+08:00

Laughter is the best medicine.

Hyenas have been spotted to burst into a fit of laughter in times of conflict. Scientists have found out that their eerie "giggles" contain valuable information on their status, identity, age, etc.. They also laugh at very high frequencies when competing for food.

Head-banging, annoyingly loud music spurs growth.

Plants subjected to tortuous sounds actually GROW BETTER. A research conducted showed that plants "listening" to death metal genre grow more. Those in the classical music group grew at the second fastest rate while the control group grew at the "normal" rate. Hmm, maybe we can grow more if we listen to death metal as well.....

Misperceptionon on astronomy.

Alpha Centauri is a system of 3 stars. Alpha Centauri A, Alpha Centauri B and Proxima Centauri. Alpha Centauris A and B are 4.3 lightyears away from home. Proxima Centauri is 4.2 lightyears away. Therefore, the closest STAR to Earth is PROXIMA CENTAURI, NOT Alpha Centauri. And mind you, there IS such a thing as negative magnitudes to determine a star's brightness, contrary to the Malaysian perception of a bright star, which "should end at zero".

I got this from a cool astronomy blog:

In a survey run by the National Science Board, 47% of the people surveyed answered correctly when asked, "How long does it take for the Earth to go around the Sun: 1 day, 1 month, or 1 year?".

I hope it didn't take very long for you to figure that one out. ;P

Old Fans Die Hard

2009-08-24T17:25:00.005+08:00

(Click to enlarge image)
And you thought you were Michael Jackson's number one fan....

You Don't Need To Understand This, Just Memorise

2009-08-22T14:00:00.017+08:00

One of those few phrases that endlessly mocks me in my face and separates me from the rest of the world is this : you don't need to understand, just memorise. It's almost similar to "You don't need to know, just go and study" or something like that. Studying gives you common knowledge, the same thing as what everyone else is going to learn. Knowing, on the other hand, assures you a wider scope of knowledge, wisdom of different intensities in different life experiences, which makes everyone special in some way or the other. The main problem of the "You don't need to understand, just memorise" phrase is the fact that it's directly related to major assessments of one's thinking ability. In unfortunate cases like this, it should mean that I possess no such intelligent ability as I only understand, not memorise. And if I can't make some cow sense out of something, I don't remember it. So, in some way, I might be A Very Stupid Person.

I'm not sure who made this phrase up, but it sounds very much like a law to me. To try and memorise something you don't understand is like telling a kid to go read up the Theory of Special Relativity and then regurgitating all the facts he acquired for everyone to admire. The last time I heard the return of this phrase was from genii Adrian, Melissa and Natasha. Zi Ying and I refused to dignify this statement with acceptance, and went on defying it.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with Adrian, Melissa or Natasha. Although the tone of the post sounds like I'm deeply agitated with the phrase used by the three of them, I'm not. I'm actually supposed to be poking fun at the education system, which only requires students to memorise useless information to pass.

What Adrian, Mel and Natasha said is TRUE, so I'm not denying it. You can't do much with the EducationSystem like that. Three of them are right in the sense that memorising is all you can do at the present moment, unless you're plotting some national riot or something as grandiose as that. So yes, I acknowledge the fact that the only way to pass is to memorise stuff, but it would be more helpful if there is a reason as to how things work. Just be aware that the fact that we have to memorise random things which doesn't seem to make sense (mathematics is excluded from this list) is driving me insane.

A very good example of how the Malaysian education system works can be seen through the implementation of the Moral subject. The subject sounds very encouraging. One cannot be blamed for thinking that students would actually be brought to old folk's homes or orphanages to exercise their goodwill and contribute to the better of society. What students actually do, however, is not in any way associated with moral qualities. The poor souls have to MEMORISE arbitrary moral values along with MORE arbitrary moral definitions.

Moral values are categorised into different sections and every moral value has a NAME for it. And you have to follow what the educationists named it, otherwise kiss goodbye to your precious marks. If you changed one word in the name, which is usually a phrase, it's still considered wrong to the experts. You even have to DEFINE the moral values in EXACT words. One keyword missing, and your head will be one the chopping board.

Yes, the education system has reduced respectable moral values to nothing more than words. And these words are supposed to be memorised "so that students' moralities will improve". How this is supposed to encourage good deeds and improve our behaviours is beyond my grasp of imagination.

I hope I've cleared the air about the controversial phrase, which was actually the main reason for this post before I steered off topic.

Oh, and before I forget, good luck nerdifying yourselves for the upcoming 2nd wave of trials. People have always believed that the second round of everything is the worst. Take the tsunami and H1N1 for instance. May all the students survive the impact.

God Is Watching

2009-08-14T22:16:00.015+08:00

Excerpt:

...It is the body of a most unfortunate Chinese opposition member who was arrested and tortured by the MACC officers. Yes, he was tortured. And he was tortured because the MACC wanted him to talk.

But he could not talk. He could not talk because there was nothing to talk about. The MACC wanted him to finger his comrades in the opposition. They wanted him to implicate his friends in the opposition for various crimes that the MACC alleges had been committed by those in the opposition.

He tried to explain that he is not being stubborn. He tried to explain that no crime had been committed. He tried to explain that he could not possibly implicate his comrades in the opposition for various crimes if these crimes are merely a figment of the MACC’s imagination.

So they continued to torture him. And he could no longer stand the torture. After all, he is not the macho type of man. He is but a gentle man who only wanted to get married this weekend. That was all that he wanted.

They threatened to kill him if he refuses to talk. With tears running down his cheeks he begged for mercy and pleaded with them not to harm him. They threatened to throw him off the top floor if he refuses to talk. Sobbing like a baby he went down on his knees and begged for his life.

They dragged him across the room and opened the window. Then something went terribly wrong. It was supposed to be just a threat. They just wanted to put fear in him. They did not really want to throw him off the top floor. They just wanted him to see what the ground floor looks like from the top floor.

The unfortunate young man panicked. He went ballistic when he saw the distance he would have to travel before hitting the ground floor. He struggled. They could not hold onto him. Gravity took over and the life of this young man was prematurely snuffed out.

The MACC then announced that they had released him the night before. They failed to announce that they had not released him from custody but released him from this world. Then they suddenly found his body the day after. He jumped. He committed suicide. He took his own life. He was never tortured. He was not dragged to the window with the threat that they would teach him how to fly.

This has been going on for far too long. The MACC acts like God. They kidnap families and torture those they arrest. They threaten those they interrogate with death if they refuse to talk.

And now one young man has really died. But no one will be punished. No one will be punished because they will say the young man took his own life. Why he took his own life no one knows. He was never tortured. He was never threatened with death. He was not made to look how far down the ground floor is. He was not accidentally dropped when he panicked and struggled and they could not get a good grip on him.

That is what they will be telling you and me later today.

What you just read was an excerpt of how the political aide to Ean Yong Hian Wah died.

Raja Petra was right. The news has just been announced : Teoh Beng Hock committed suicide.

The evidences are against it. The marks on the sole of his shoes, the force on his belt, the broken window latch, etc.. He was supposed to register his marriage the next day. And he committed suicide. Bravo, my fellow leaders, bravo! I don't know many people who make up bullshit stories like that can get away with it.

Honestly, how dumb are we supposed to be? Does the main stream media really think our brains are stupidly miniscule enough to be unable to process rotten facts? Are we supposed to accept some senseless, loosely made-up story to cover up the truth which only cowheads would digest?

GOONS!! You hear me?! GOONS!!!! Everyone is screaming that word in your ears, but you're just not listening. It's because of this sort of injustice that you're losing the confidence of Malaysians, not the way you campaign or your tactless money politics, or even the way you handle current affairs for this matter. It is all your hypocritical mindset, dogmatic legacy, underhand cronies, peripheral aims and constant babbling that's driving us nuts.

I don't care if you've already won people's hearts by listening to the voice of the rakyat. Heck, I don't even care if you choose to ignore the Federal Constitution and abolish all special privileges for national equality, like what Lee Kuan Yew said 46 years back. All I care about is that EVEN IF YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG, FOR !#$^'S SAKE, ADMIT IT. I really respect Chua Soi Lek better than all of you slime balls and scumbags out there, and I'm sure many other Malaysians feel the same.

To everyone out there, do not fear. God is watching and he knows the truth. May the truth burn these national liars for all eternity in hell. Siapa makan cili, dia yang rasa pedas.

God is watching.

History Eludes Me

2009-08-04T20:57:00.005+08:00

I can perform in front of a crowd of hundreds of people, but can't do so in front of 2 people in an enclosed room.

I can feel at home with hundreds of eyes staring me down, but not with 2 people who don't even look at me.

I can speak in front of the entire class, make announcements and talk with people I don't even know, but when it comes to those 2 people sitting in front of me, I speak like a kid.

Those 2 people are weird humans.

In the lift on the 6th floor, that same man in the room with the "hippie hairstyle" walked in and said "Hello", before screaming that he was in the wrong lift as the doors were closing.

Meet my examiners. They seemed like very friendly people, but the mighty pen and paper spoils their image.

The graded exams were held on the 3rd floor while the diploma ones were on the 23rd, the highest floor. The view was very nice indeed, save the big black box I would be banging on. I was initially misguided to the graded exams section, before being hurried off to the top floor. Indeed, there were very few people sitting for DipABRSM. On the page of a normal graded exam, there would be more than 10 names on one sheet of paper. Here, there were only 3.

To make the impression that it wasn't that empty, these guys enlarged our names to freaky proportions which seemed to eat the whole page away.

The girl before me was taking the violin exam. Her pianist was the very famous Su Mei. Luckily, we were acquainted with her and she could calm me down.

I absolutely decline to comment about how the exam went, but here's a pointer:
Roland, Ng Chong Lim and the other judges have to publicly explain how a pianistic failure grabbed the runner-up. I myself am not convinced. =/ Even if I am, I don't know why my historical courage is eluding me.

When you finally think that sight-reading a grade 6 piece is better than playing your prepared pieces, you're really dead meat.

And now, just when I'm planning to pick up the history book again, it goes missing.

Ludwig van Beethoven

2009-08-01T17:56:00.005+08:00

Beethoven is a dangerous man who composed weapons of mass destruction. No cases of dying or tortured students who played with his deadly weapons have been recorded throughout history, but I suspect that the numbers are quite high. Many a time have people joked about how Beethoven would toss and turn in his grave whenever someone screws up his compositions. It is then considered a proud achievement if someone could actually wake him from the dead by playing horrendously. This I can unabashedly claim; it's a worthy title to crown my pianistic skills, if I even have any.

Actually, I'm hoping that he decides to walk into my exam room, throw me away from the piano, and continue my exam for me as if nothing strange happened. And then, I hope he kills the piano during the last chord of the final Bulgarian Dances. After all, what's the point of notoriety if you can't prove your title? He should at the very least show my contemporaries how to destroy pianos--Beethoven style. It's a useful way out of frustration. Anyway, I'd probably be saved from Quick Study (or sight reading) too.

Unfortunately, if he decides to come into the exam room and wave all his 32 piano sonatas in front of me, that'll be the end of yours truly. I've had enough with ONE sonata, what more thirty-two?

It's very depressing to note that 182 years and counting, Beethoven is still mass murdering music students. Mercy, I plead for (forgive Yoda talk).

Visual Eclipse

2009-07-22T09:52:00.013+08:00

Eclipses were once believed to be caused by a demon eating up the Sun.

The Chinese, Indians and Indonesians believed that a dragon was responsible for the phenomena.

And the Argentinians, a jaguar.

Some predict war or natural disasters after the event of an eclipse.

So they all scream at the Sun-eater.

You would probably do this in India or China.

But don't waste your effort on that. Take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to view the Sun's features like prominences and solar flares in full detail.

However, you must be unfortunate if the weather sucked.

Especially when it blocked a partial eclipse and you can't really tell.

Yup, Malaysians missed this rare opportunity to hungry clouds.

Oh well, celebrate Gheek's birthday on Easter Island next year. =)

But wait! The entire island has been sabotaged by scientists from all over the world!!

NOW you can scream.

Mighty Or Mini?

2009-07-18T11:19:00.007+08:00

I actually went to Mighty Minds eventhough I wasn't feeling well, mostly for the part that I was the captain of the team. You can actually stop reading right here, right now, because we did not make it to the hands-on task, although we could have, if not for certain reasons.

Well, let's get things straight first. We actually got 16/20 questions right for the Blue Team questions, which would allow us to automatically qualify for the next round, but due to reasons unknown, our points were recorded as 14/20 only (we were VERY sure we pressed the correct answers, as every team member checked the keypad device). One of BU4's team also had an error in their marks, which, like ours, should be 16/20 but was recorded as 15/20.

Secondly, if our school's name was SMK SRI Damansara Jaya, we would be in the Red Team, as the teams were determined by alphabetical order. If we were in the Red Team, we would have got 20/20 (we know this because we were doing their questions as well). Now, if we had 20/20, not only will we be one of the few teams to be able to obtain a perfect score in the entire nation (the record was broken here in Selangor by some other lucky Red people), but we would also have advanced to the hands-on task. If we just made qualified for that, we could've come up with something very solid, since we had a clear idea on what to do to "build a ceiling fan powered by air movement".

BU4's 2 teams were complaining with our team. Eventhough I really wanted to participate in our "united" debate against Mr Siva, I could not do so, no thanks to a worsening headache and a rising temperature. Shu Wen and Adrian Loke (a form 2 from BU4(B)) did most of the talking. Man, I wished I could've said something more, but my fever was getting worse and dizziness started to settle in. BU4 agreed with us that the questions for both teams should be the same, as it was not a very good factor to determine which team was "smarter", especially since the questions were different. I mean, even the BU4 people agreed that the Red team's questions were so much easier. Aaron's team also tried out their quesitons and came out with 20/20 as well.

Melissa and Shu Wen were really disappointed with the results, as they felt we could have done much better if we were in the second round. According to many of the Blue Team's observation, the Red Team wasn't even as competitive as our round. Most of their results were so far apart eventhough their questions were so much easier. Unfortunately, my fuzzy brain just couldn't care anymore. After all, what's done is done. We're alway so near, yet so far. It has just come to a point where I'm starting to accept "the truth". From choir, to Robotics, to cheerleading, etc., we achieved everything except the top spot.

Moving back, before the Red team started their round, I was trying to avoid the 2 Seafielders I knew from Scrabble. Unfortunately, Vinnith and Scott spotted me as I was trying to hide behind my Sausage McMuffin. Oh dear. Han Wey was there too, and I finally learnt that he's a Form 3. I always thought he was a year my senior. We saw Emily Neoh as well, Aaron, Ryan and the 2 BU3 people from the previous month's competition. Apparently, Michelle Peh and her other teammate (I don't know his name) didn't win the Selangor level. This time, both of them weren't in the same team as each other and I nearly mistook one of Michelle's teammates as Ke Ming, until I remembered that Ke Ming is a Form 4.

When the teams were doing the hands-on task, I was trying desperately to "recover" from my state of health in Harvey Norman. I initially wanted to watch the groups outside, but after Melissa and Shu Wen said that the teams were "crapping", I just lost interest. Pn Cheah said that these people were going to set the benchmark for the competition in Selangor, and as implied by her and my teammates, the benchmark wasn't very high. Damansara Utama, the team I was going for, collapsed at the very end, literally. Their project just died on the spot when the bottom half of their fan dropped off. I suspect that the tall dude in their team is Qi Lin or Qilin (or something like that), because Alexandria told me something of him being extremely smart when she showed me her school magazine. Apart from their's and Jacie's team (Shu Wen's church friend), the masterpieces of other schools appeared as "rather interesting", in the sense that "being-weird-catches-attention" sort of way.

And the best part is this : when the top five were announced, there were THREE Blue teams that made it up there. And of the 3 teams, the last two to qualify for this hands-on task made it. Now, what does that prove?

I went home slightly earlier than the rest of my gang, who stayed back to hear the results. Most of the participants already went back, so the emcee was like talking to an empty hall in Sunway. If it weren't for busybody onlookers, he'd be like talking to the wall.

I went to see my doctor immediately and found out that my fever nearly touched 39 degrees Celsius! This obviously explains why my doctor was paranoid and told me not to cough in the clinic, in case I've got the international H1N1 flu. I'm probably going to be quarantined until Wednesday, if I don't get better. If teachers ask, you know what to say.

Last but not least, to all the Blue teams out there to get to the next round, I salute you! You're really deserving to get to the next round and you could've shown more might if you were in the Red team. As for the Red teams....eh....you're lucky you're in Selangor and got the easier of the 2 teams' questions. Though it's easy to think that you would die if you answered our Blue team's questions, congratulations to you guys!

Mr Nonsense

2009-07-11T22:11:00.015+08:00

I just went to Dr M's blog to "busybody around" and if possible, write a comment there. After seeing 595 responses for his blog post on the teaching of Science and Maths in English, I decided it would be a waste of time to comment. Dr M is not going to read 596 comments!

After some browsing around on his webpage, I discovered something which I find ridiculous, or should I say, "nonsense". Here's what I found:

By hisham1 on July 9, 2009 3:05 PM
firstly I thought that it wise to teach math and science in english. but after the minister, who is a nonsense guy, form a committee, discussed, and decide about it I changed my mind. I go with the government. So, I vote:
YES

Hmmm, so what you're trying to say here is that you're a nonsense guy as well?

Eh brother, wake up-lah! Do you really really think Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin is rasional in making his decision? (Note that I'm trying to make his status sound like an insult.) For heaven's sake, even a normal kid is able to explain why Maths and Science should be taught in English. What about all those scientific terms? Not like they'll be the same in Bahasa Malaysia! "Monocular vision", "astigmatism", "heart attack", etc. are only accurately described in English mainly because there is no existing word for those terms in BM. Thus, the closest that "heart attack" can be translated into is "penyakit jantung", which literally means "heart sickness". At this point, it is grammatically correct to say I have "penyakit jantung" because of the government's decision, yet scientifically wrong to do so.

And the Education Minister still wants to revert the subjects back to BM. Oh dear, it's back to the Stoneage.

Muhyiddin Yassin claims that the grades of students are gradually deteriorating every year since the teaching of those subjects in English was implemented. What sort of excuse is this? Lower grades don't show that we're getting dumber, neither does it show that the English language is the main cause of deterioration in grades. Firstly, the papers are marked very strictly and we students know that the examiners only follow a guideline when marking. You would only be considered correct if the words you used are found in the marking scheme, regardless of whether your answer should be rightfully correct or not. Secondly, maybe students do not understand certain things like the aim of the experiment, or are not well-read in a certain topic. These are not because they do not understand the terms, but because they don't prepare themelves well. Thirdly, have you noticed that students' characters are changing by the day?! More and more people are slacking and that may also be the cause of declination in grades.

EdMin, don't you want us to continue improving so that we can rise to the standards of other countries? Maybe not. Maybe you just want all your citizens to grow up stupid at the same rate. Maybe that's your concept of 1Malaysia, where rural and urban students learn at the same, slow rate, never being able to grasp the actual terms used in the scientific fields. Maybe they want students to have a tough time keeping up in universities. And all the potential scientists can suffer forever, for the sake of learning at the same rate as kampung people. Sweet, sweet 1Malaysia.

But NO! That's not what students want! Urban students want to keep up with the rat race, while rural students just want to have proper education where they learn proper terms. Honestly, how many countries in the world use Bahasa Malaysia as a medium to study science? So, do you think that learning these subjects in BM will be of much help to us? If all we care about is our examination results and the SPM certificate, how on earth are we supposed to improve ourselves?! How are we supposed to be accepted into overseas universities?

The whole point here is not that the English standard will drop, but that the understanding of mathematics and the sciences will implode into a complicated heap of BM words which cannot be converted into english fast enough.

If we cannot understand English terms, how then can we learn about more complex researches and findings? How can we grasp the knowledge which we ran away from? How are students supposed to convert back to english in their higher education, and what about those who wish to be future scientists? All the answers are simple and they point to a certain phenomenon Malaysia hates : Brain Drain.

People say that knowledge is power. At the rate this is going, it is almost a prophecy to say that the forthcoming generation will be intellectual weaklings.

I pity aspiring scientists.

Najib, Najib, your deputy prime minister has tarnished your name within your first 100 days as PM, eventhough "some" people are happy and you came out in the headlines with showers of praises from an 11-year old gifted kid. Your senseless party Barisan Nonsense have absent-mindedly agreed to his decision and you have not opened your mouth on this matter. Mr Prime Minister, you have earned my lifelong contempt for killing my compatriots' futures.

You Can Say That Again

2009-07-03T22:08:00.020+08:00

Earlier this week, Anwar Ibrahim, our politically-challenged (literally) Opposition Leader came up with this horrendous statement that he would like the teaching of Maths and Science in English to be abolished and replaced with BM as the medium of instruction in the 2 subjects.

I've always heard that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. Ergo, I'll cut/censor this part away from public.

To put it frankly, "Die, Opposition leader, DIE!!" But after putting some thought into the matter, I realised that his statement was just great!! No, don't get me wrong. Nobody put any funny liquid into my head while I wasn't thinking. In fact, if you look at another perspective, you would find that:

1. BN is the Federal Government.
2. BN hates Anwar.
3. BN ALWAYS opposes EVERYTHING that Anwar says.

Therefore, we can safely deduce that if Anwar makes that statement, BN would readily oppose it. And because BN is the Federal Government, it would mean that Maths and Science would continue to be taught in English. *Grins*

See the irony of the situation? The Star newspaper probably put it up there as one of its "provoking" articles so as to make the public hate Pakatan (and its plan is to be foiled by me!!). But then again, Anwar could have very well made a ploy to shift BN's mind...

Oh, speaking of articles, (this is to Cas and Zi Ying), I DID send the amateur article to Star already. (If you're clicking on the link, note that you would have to scroll down a bit once you're at the post). But just as I had predicted, they wouldn't publish it. Instead, if you looked at some of the previous articles, they put up MORE articles about people going against the teaching of Maths and Science in English (exactly why I believe Star is "sabotaged").

As for school, results and positions are out. This time, its my KH teacher to be shocked into congratulating me for the stunted position of mine. All this while I've been cursing the exams because I was, to put it casually, both unable and not in the mood to study. I was more intent on other non-academic stuffs. But when the papers came out and I got the same position as last term (which was 2nd last from the back =D geddit?), I was just purely freaked. I thought it was possible for me to drastically cascade out of top 10, seeing how people were studying. Most stayed up to 4 am to prepare. Me? Err....let's not focus on that matter now, shall we?

Anyway, Pn Soo was surprised when she knew I got 2nd, since she didn't exactly ask for our positions during 1st term. Pn Nomi had a similar reaction, but far more exaggerated.

Oh, Pn Nomi didn't come on Open Day, which is clearly the most important day along this time, as it's the last school exam before trials. A few parents speculated that she was "afraid to see the parents". =D That's what my mother said too!

*Ahem* I do not wish to dwell on matters related somehow to Pn Nomi. Now, take a little time to study the post title. Honestly, what can you make of the title? (Yes, it also refers to Anwar's statement because I like the paradox of it). Apart form that, what I intend to write about today is something I found in a book about leadership, which I promptly picked up for fun in the bookstore just the other day. This was a famous statement made by a famous Japanese swordsman Musashi in the 16th century.

For a little background information before I reveal the adage of the day, I will now introduce Miyamoto Musashi. He was also known as Shinmen Takezo, Miyamoto Bennosuke or by his Buddhist name, Niten Doraku. He was a Japanese swordsman famed for his duels and distinctive styles. Musashi, as he was often simply known, became renowned through stories of his excellent swordsmanship in numerous duels, even from a very young age. He was the founder of the Hyōhō Niten Ichi-ryū or Niten-ryū style of swordsmanship and the author of The Book of Five Rings (五輪書, Go Rin No Sho), a book on strategy, tactics, and philosophy that is still studied today.

I have trained in the way of strategy since my youth, and at the age of thirteen I fought a duel for the first time. My opponent was called Arima Kihei, a sword adept of the Shinto ryu, and I defeated him. At the age of sixteen I defeated a powerful adept by the name of Akiyama, who came from Tajima Province. At the age of twenty-one I went up to Kyoto and fought duels with several adepts of the sword from famous schools, but I never lost.

—Miyamoto Musashi, Go Rin No Sho-

According to the introduction of The Book of Five Rings, Musashi states that his first successful duel was at the age of thirteen, against a samurai named Arima Kihei who fought using the Kashima Shintō-ryū style, founded by Tsukahara Bokuden (b. 1489, d. 1571). The main source of the duel is the Hyoho senshi denki ("Anecdotes about the Deceased Master"). Summarized, its account goes as follows:

In 1596, Musashi was 13, and Arima Kihei, who was traveling to hone his art, posted a public challenge in Hirafuku-mura. Musashi wrote his name on the challenge. A messenger came to Dorin's temple, where Musashi was staying, to inform Musashi that his duel had been accepted by Kihei. Dorin, Musashi's uncle, was shocked by this, and tried to beg off the duel in Musashi's name, based on his nephew's age. Kihei was adamant that the only way his honor could be cleared was if Musashi apologized to him when the duel was scheduled. So when the time set for the duel arrived, Dorin began apologizing for Musashi, who merely charged at Kihei with a six-foot quarterstaff, shouting a challenge to Kihei. Kihei attacked with a wakizashi, but Musashi threw Kihei on the floor, and while Kihei tried to get up, Musashi struck Arima between the eyes and then beat him to death. Arima was said to have been arrogant, overly eager to fight, and not a terribly talented swordsman.

—William Scott Wilson, The Lone Samurai[10]-

The duel is odd for a number of reasons, not least of which is why Musashi was permitted to duel Arima, whether the apology was a ruse, and why Arima was there in the first place.

In April 13, 1612, Musashi (aged about 30) fought his most famous duel, with Sasaki Kojirō, who wielded a nodachi (some weapon which is not as effective as the naginata or nagamaki. It is not a cutting sword, instead used to fold the opponent under its rapidly moving weight). Musashi came late and unkempt to the appointed place — the remote island of Funajima, north of Kokura. The duel was short. Musashi killed his opponent with a bokken that he had carved from an oar while traveling to the island. Musashi fashioned it to be longer than the nodachi, making it closer to a modern suburito.

I'm impressed you came up to this point without exiting my blog due to boredom. After all that useful information (or crappy rubbish) about his status, you may now prepare yourself for the juicy bit, that one-sentence adage from Musashi I will use to avoid doing homework in the future.....

*Drum rolls*

Do nothing which is of no use.

Yes, sensei Musashi. I will carry on your legacy like a fervent worshipper. The students of the 21st century will uphold your belief and spread it like wildfire. No student shall ever waste anymore paper to complete useless, time-consuming projects which most students can read and plagiarise from the Internet. Our efforts will never again be spent focusing on baseless homeworks given just for the sake of completing it, which bind us to stress and chain our necks to adamant walls of academic policy. No longer will we accept stupid examination marking schemes, which make the dumb seem smarter or the smart seem dumber.

Go on, Musashi. You can say that again.

Misunderstood

2009-06-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

Dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolate. But some do, and face the consequences, paying the price with their innocently dumb lives. So if you love your dog, don't give it the "mercury potion".

My parents unwittingly commited crime by buying chocolate biscuits for Lost-N-Found Miracle dog, Silkie. After wasting their money, they were quite insistent on Silkie eating the darn biscuits, to my great dissent. It's been going on for a few days and luckily (after some thorough researching), chocolate biscuits don't contain enough Theobromine (the deadly chemical) to kill your dog, unless consumed in lethal amounts (I don't know how much that is). It's not only dogs that are affected, though. Small animals that metabolize chocolate slowly are also at risk (although dogs are the more common victims, seeing that they are closer to man). Oh, and dark chocolate is worse than the highly refined chocolates.

It was only natural that I resented giving my dog these biscuits eventhough it's not given in lethal amounts (we mix her "treats" with other stuffs, by the way) and she doesn't eat them very often. But today, just before we went out for dinner, my mum gave Silkie her treats (inclusive of the killer biscuits). I couldn't do anything much except yell at Silkie so as not to eat them, since we were leaving the house. I knew this hungry little monster would eat anything on her bowl as long as it's not her boring, old "main course", so I begrudged myself for letting her get away with this.

When we returned, it was a surprise to find that Silkie finished everything--except the chocolate biscuits. Oh yay, she understood me!! (She normally finishes the biscuits anyway). But she didn't today! Smart dog. Now, I refuse to believe that she's anything other than a dog prodigy. I must start teaching her how to read soon, before other dogs surpass her level of understanding......

The King of Pop

2009-06-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

On a very coincidential day, Michael Jackson (the King of Pop), and Farrah Fawcett (Charlie's Angels) passed away. It was on this same day that Cassandra's house got broken in and her laptop and soldering project for Home Science got stolen. Amid the events, it was also Cass's sister's birthday, so Happy Birthday to you, Isabel (I hope I spelt it correctly).

Man, poor guy Michael Jackson....There was this rather interesting article I found in the papers that said he had a feeling that he would die the same way the King of Rock, Elvis Presley, did. Well, at least that was according to his ex-wife and also Elvis Presley's daughter, Liza Marie Presley. That death includes having some drug overdose and then dying of a heart attack, which is, I must say, frighteningly similar to MJ's death.

After a 2-day "marathon programme" on MJ's life, it's amusing to know how his life changed so much. Frankly, he shouldn't have had any plastic surgery or bleaching at all. He looked just fine as a black. Now, he...how do I put this...looks like a puppet. Nevermind the fact that he had vitiligo, he shouldn't have reduced his nose to a tiny point. In case you don't know, vitiligo is a rare genetic disorder which causes whitening of the skin.

And all the millions of dollars he earned was spent on his amusing Neverland Ranch, not to mention the child molestation cases. And just when he was about to redeem himself again...Boom! There he goes.

But personal life aside, he did achieve a lot and changed our lives forever. For example, he was the black man responsible for opening up the music industry to all the other blacks, who were previously not very successful in the field. His music gave birth to modern music and ultimately, what you hear on the radio everyday.

Eccentricities aside, I hail you for your success in the first half of your life before you got caught up in various morality cases. I salute you for the changes you incurred in your lifetime and for changing our lives. Hats off to you for adding meaning in your songs, which admittedly not many artistes can do, or are not very good at. To quote an anonymous guy, Sudersh, "Michael Joseph Jackson, you thrilled us in Thriller, showed us the Man in The Mirror, gave us hope in We Are The World and showed us how to Heal The World." You were the trailblazer who sparked new ideas, added life to them, and shared them with the world. Michael Joseph Jackson, thank you for revolutionizing our music, our lives and the world we live in.

Rest in peace, King of Pop.

It's A Small World

2009-06-20T21:14:00.020+08:00

School was great!

(Excluding the fact that everybody screwed up mid-term and that our marks were censored).

It's a small world where people suffer the same things.

"The answer scheme is so......narrow!! Why can't they--"
"Exactly!!"
"So why don't we protest?"
"Of course we have to protest."
"Then let's protest!!"
"Yes, we must!!"
"We must continue the legacy of the Cultural Revolution and stand up for students' rights!!"
"YES!!!"
"We must relive Tiannanmen Square in our country!!"
"YES!!"
"WHO'S WITH ME?!?!"

*Class stares in ~~amusement~~ ultimate respect*

*Joshua meekly lifts up his hand* : "Oh, me."
"Come on, 3 Batai! Show your enthusiasm!!"

*Class stares again*

Joshua : Oh, wait.....who are we protesting against again....?
"The government."
Joshua : Okay, I'm out.

*Bangs head on the white board* "STOP BEING MALAYSIANS!!!"

Somebody please explain our dormancy and indifference towards our rights.

Even Pn Lim SL, our moral teacher, is more enthusiastic about protesting for our rights than we are. We're so......indifferent.....shockingly so......

English was a big shock as well. The objective marks were next to hopeless (if "hopeless" is is having 5 mistakes, then my statement is literal). 4 mistakes were thanks to the fact that I thought "No Vistors" is used for VIPs. Seeing that Melissa got higher than me in objective, I suppose that she would beat me by more than 5 marks overall. According to my "keen" observation, Sha Lynn's, Melissa's and Timothy's essays gain more favour over mine. But then again (a big whoops here), it is also a little important to note that most of my class essays are less than 10 minutes worth of work, due to lack of interest in homework. Unfortunately for my composition book (which is currently suffering from Severe Achievement Reduction Syndrome), Most of the time, the essays are turned into poor experiments to gauge my own creativity.

For example, if you were supposed to write about being either "the old lady who needed a seat on the bus" or "the kind student who helped to old lady", I would choose to be neither and instead, prefer to write about me being a complete stranger in the scene, sleeping throughout the entire essay. Towards the end, I would awaken from the dead, turn aggressive and start pushing people out of my way to reach the door.

Oh dear, so much for creativity.

Theoretically, I can do the same for exams. Logically, it's an impossible feat, unless I'm aiming to be buried alive in my mother's apocalyptic tsunami of endless nagging. That would make me a super insane person. In any case, I still prefer to be an "ordinary insane person".

Considering the fact that I actually screwed up my objective questions, catching up at last seems fine, and to some extent, even miraculous. Pn Daljit must've found my achievement interesting, as I don't think I have actually written any serious class essays this year. (True enough, she told me I wrote very well, although I still think that it wasn't done very seriously). "Serious" is what I call a 3-page long (or 4-page long) essay. And "serious" is when no humourous word play is added into the essay. In some sense, I cannot write a "serious" essay.

Moving away from exam matters, Melissa and I went for some crazy Young Scientist competition today. This was the first time DJ is sending in a team for this competition, so we didn't quite know what to expect. Our time management was haywire and we couldn't finish the reports in time. We also started off with the hardest station, where we were supposed to do titration. The fact that their "little suckers", as we called it, were different from that of DJ didn't help matters very much.

Baseless Rumours : BUD3 won the competition, followed by Assunta and Sri Permata. The guy named Eric Samuel (another Samuel?!) from Sri Permata amusingly recognized Mel and I from the HELP debate workshop. Apparently, he knows Zi Chien and his schoolmates think DJ is some elite school or something. They said rumours were flying around alleging that DJ was a very good school and teachers give a lot of work to students. (DJians, heard that!!) I think what they meant was the exam-oriented thinking the teachers have successfully transmitted to us students. It's called a disease.

Choir Relations : Mel suspects the girl from BUD3 was from our district level choir competition. However, neither of us dared to ask her about it "in case she has a twin sister". And here comes the most interesting bit. Eric Samuel's mother was also one of our State Level Choir competition judge!!!!! Oh yeah.....as you can guess, Mel and I tried to get "useful" information out of him regarding the preposterous outcome of the competition, but to no avail. =/

Sigh. Small world, big problems.

Torture the Government :Holidays That Never Were

2009-06-13T21:28:00.019+08:00

Note: Scroll down to read the essay.

The fortnight-long holiday has proven redundant for my case, mainly because 11 out of 16 days were not spent doing the "correct" things. Neither "correct" as in studying, nor "correct" as in "teenager correct", spending time on the computer. Instead, there were various "distractions" to pay attention to. Unfortunately, these "distractions" ate away my holidays.

Distraction Monster.

What am I talking about?? More like Monster of Destruction!!! Destroyed my holidays!! But it's okay, at least I learned a few things which I already know. I gained experience eventhough I could've done better. At least I know my capabilities. Without trying hard enough? Okay, good or bad hols, you judge.

1. We were quite good as a choir.
2. We still didn't champion the state.
3. We weren't slaughtered by CHS even though we knew we sucked a lot for the MCE competition.
4. We screwed up the MCE competition, thus not being able to gauge our true capabilities. In case you don't know, we were judged by REAL judges.
5. I've made Filipino friends.
6. I did not communicate much with the Batu Lintang or the Sibu group (eek).
7. I took a lot of group pictures, this time, most of them contained me in the pic.
8. The camera was blur most of the time. (Fussy with blur pics).
9. I improved tremendously in Scrabble and got a worthy position.
10. I flunked Scrabble terribly.
11. I think I can pass Yamaha grade 4.
12. My voice cracked when I was singing, and the examiner thought I couldn't sing high notes even though I know I'm soprano 1. Heck.

13. I know Gheek is nuttier than usual.
14. Catholics like tempe.
15. Starbucks consoles people.
16. The scrabble team consists of Adam Lambert fans (who don't respond to my poll).
17. Shu Wen's dad's phone got misplaced, later known as lost.
18. I like KL.
19. Most people enjoy loitering.

I did not have the free time to send my complaints to Star or the government yet, so I'll post my opinions here for the time being. If there are any points you wish to add, please let me know. If you're some legendary debater or public speaker, advice on how to present my points are greatly appreciated. (Please note that I'm planning to send this to the papers).

I have been reading the news on the currently controversial English subject. As a secondary school student, I wish to express my disappointment towards the reluctance to turn English into a compulsory “pass” subject in SPM. I was really shocked when I read that there were groups that actually wanted to call off the implementation. Looks like some of us have already conceded defeat before the fight even began.

Are we Malaysians really that doubtful of our abilities? We’ve conquered Mount Everest, swam across various channels, broken many records and yet we claim that we cannot master the English language. How ridiculous is that? We all know that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Apparently, there isn’t much determination to master the language now, is there?

I would like to know, why are we so unwilling to improve and help ourselves? We all know that English is the global medium of communication in important fields such as science and technology. Yet why is our government still beating around the bush, debating about such a trivial issue such as making the language a compulsory subject to pass in SPM? Why is it so hard to accept a language which equals to global importance?

Don’t keep repeating that rural students and teachers are not able to master and teach English effectively. We’re tired of hearing that already. Just because English isn’t our mother tongue doesn’t mean that we have to neglect it and only focus on the national language alone. Yes, we should feel proud of Bahasa Malaysia as our national language and be proficient in it, but that does not mean that we have to forsake English because that is the language that will bring us out into the world.

Having said that, stop using the rural students as an excuse to not make the subject compulsory, as all you are implying is that you doubt your citizens’ capabilities. What about those teachers who have strived to bring out the best in their students? What about those students who have worked hard for themselves? Students of today are the future of our country. How can anybody use the rural area students’ discomfort towards English as an excuse to jeopardize the nation’s future? Honestly, have you heard of adaptation, perseverance and hard work? If we all want to move forward as a nation, then we should really walk the talk. If we are willing to accept English as a compulsory subject, then of course we can improve. There are people out there who will work hard to master the subject, so don’t presume that we give up that easily. Don’t look down on our abilities. Instead, we should give each other assurance that we can do it.

One of the reasons as to why the standard of English is so low is because the subject is not compulsory to pass to get the SPM certificate. Students perceive it as a less important subject, and so do the teachers, who utilize their English-teaching period to teach other subjects. If it were compulsory, then students and teachers alike would treat this subject differently and make an effort to excel in it, just like Bahasa Malaysia.

If we want to compete on a global basis, then we should really open our minds and hearts to learn English. This is education and not politics, so don’t gamble with our future. Please don’t let Malaysia be left behind.

I know it's rather short for a complaint, so please help. If you're a M'sian student, all the more you should help. (Calling overseas help as well). Please, please, please try to make this sound thought-provoking. Help me make an ending as well. Right now, the ending sounds dead and emotionless. Thanks so much.

Now, I'll just have to ....err....translate my whole passage to Nonsense Form to send to the government, so that they can estimate M'sian's English quality. I think I'll start with "I'm has read the new's about the funneh Enggrish subjek and wants to shows disapoinment on the garventmen......"

Thanks for reading. Hopefully you can help.

Edit: If you were wondering, yes, I DID send this letter to the Star. But, like I said, no way are they going to publish it.

Scrabble Scrambled My Head

2009-06-07T17:01:00.028+08:00

Let's see, choir was just over on Wednesday, the 3rd of June, right? Just yesterday and today, my brain has been fried into bits. Thank goodness I'm still functional (although I don't think I'll survive the frying from Madam Tan when I get back to school). The abscissa question would probably be the last of me.

Anyway, getting back to the MSA Nationals......

I didn't die or anything, so it must have went fine, right? Wrong.

Yes, I exceeded my own expectations to get 9 points out of 15 games and end up in the top 25. And yes, I am the only person in the entire tournament to get NINE points and have a spread of NEGATIVE 671. Six hundred. Negative.

If you weren't fast enough to catch it, it means that I lost more than what I won. I'm the only person in the top 25 to get a negative spread that low. The other negative (which was -17 only) was Stephanie Mary Anne. Seventeen. Only. Mine? Holy crap. Hold on, my crappy score isn't even HOLY!! Pht pht pht.

Let me reveal the disturbing facts, shall I?

Saturday, 6th June 2009

It started off well. Sailed through Mohamad Ehsan, Vinnith Zahanif. It was very well, actually. Up to my 3rd game, that is. Then, I moved up. All the way up. To rank number 9. To table number 5. Against Shu Wen's *ahem* friend, Wong Han Wey.

That game started off well too, with me starting with a bingo, INDUSTRY. That was my first rack. From my second rack right to the end of the game, I was somewhat "doomed" with horrible-terrible-like-vegetable tiles. Every rack, and I repeat, EVERY rack I had was either ALL vowels or ALL consonants. I spent more than 3 turns changing tiles and still ended up with the whole rack full of the same species of alphabets. If I were in a competition whereby the tiles I get must be of the same kind (vowels or consonants), I'd be the grand champion. I might sound like I'm trying to put the blame on something else rather than bear responsibility to my loss, but it's really true for this game. The longest word I made here was EUOI. Notice that it's only FOUR letters long and that it's made purely from vowels. And guess my last rack. FFGGCRA. ONE vowel. And the rest? I got rid of the vowel and Han Wey stole 28 points from my the rest of my last rack. I lost by nearly 250 points and don't wish to remember this game.

The loss got my spread in the negatives.

I had the whole lunch to mope over that matter before I faced Chear Tze Xian. Here, I start to realise that everytime I put out a bingo, my opponent would surely put out ANOTHER bingo to catch up with my score. It didn't just start off here, it started off since my first game. At this point, I just started wishing that my opponents never ever have to get a bingo when matched with me. I won Tze Xian by 10 points no thanks to me not being able to play a bingo. I had one....but...there was no place to put it. Damn.

In my 6th game, I was up against Irfan. this game got my spread back in the positives (I would soon regret this). Just like I've mentioned, right after I play my bingo, he plays his. Geez, that made me not have a convincing win. Oh well, at least I'm in the positives again. *Grins happily*.

For my 7th game...ahem...We were waiting for our names to be announced, and I was with the DJ and Sultan Abdul Samad bunch. We were talking about our games when Ramaraj's father called out, "Table 5, Yeow Liiyung, Scott Chung." Then the crowd around me went "Oooooooh", as in "Goodbye to you, my friend. My deepest condolences". I overtook Han Wey by rank (miracle) and he was laughing at my ill luck. By some freak misfortune, I was back at table 5 (oh, screw you, table 5!!), this time, with (oh no) Scott Chung. Apparently, I was one rank above him. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't have been. Because this game with him threw my spread back into the negatives again.

Unlike the last time, I didn't completely die and lose by 300+ points, but the pressure was there. He did say "Hi", but he's still Scott. I realised then that the organizers were "looking out" for me and my games since I was "performing" and they started crowding round the table. Parents too. Parents of the elite scrabble players. [The truth is, I'm not that good. It just so happens that I have bingoes for every game so far. Every time I play the bingoes or some high-scoring words, Henry, Jocelyn or Dr Adele just so happen to walk by. Lucky? NOT.]

My tiles were unusually great, but my head went blank. People are staring, they are judging my moves, it's unusually hot in this elite part of the tournament and the guy sitting opposite me is Scott Chung. What do I do?

Go blank and die.

Which is exactly what I did. And I shouldn't have done so.

Scott must be thinking, "Why am I matched against someone so pathetic like her?". I don't blame anyone who was thinking like that.

My spread dwelled in the negatives. I resented my position and points because that made me susceptible to meet the elite players. And I wasn't ready. Like the game against Scott. Stupid me. Well, at least he said something unrelated to scrabble. It's nice to know that a human still exists in him.

My 7th game was against Looi Yih Feng on table 8 (crap!! I'm STILL in the top 10 tables?). When we saw each other, we were like "Not you again......". He had a miserable loss to me last year when my last word was a bingo. And I had a miserable loss too when I lost to him by around 13 points. This year, he was surely out to kill me. True enough, he was. He played 2 bingos and I had none. But I caught up miraculously in the long-winded game. We were the last to finish in the 7th (last game) of the day and the pressure was building up. He's score was 403. Mine was 402. I held 2 tiles and he, 3. It was my turn. Basically, that put me in the superior. I had to finish my two tiles NOW. I held U and N. So, I put out TUN, with the impression that he would surely challenge it. He did. 4 points inflated to 9. His tiles I,I and D were added to my score. I won by 16 marks (he must be cursing) and I would regret it (again) the next day.

Sunday, 7th June 2009

We arrived late. No thanks to the nutty driver of the monorail who was too kind to squash all those who didn't make it onto the monorail in time. We waited more than 15 minutes in KL Sentral and ran inside the Berjaya Times Square. Even Pn Loo was running! The guards thought we were mad.

When we reached the tenth floor, I screamed "Hallelujah, we made it!!" thank goodness it was only the scrabble players who were present. I don't want to end up in Hospital Bahagia to meet the legendary Mahyun.

We ran up to the paper which stated the playing positions. After reading Hui Jan's blog, it wouldn't be very sensible of you to not be afraid of William Kang. Now, which table was I on? Table 6. Crap. The elite place again.

I was leading initially, until he put out XU. I was still within the recovery range until he put BAIZA. I thought I could fish up an "S" to grab BAIZAS as well as steal the triple-word score. Unfortunately, he reached the "S" first, grabbed a "Q" and got a blank tile as well. So, he played QUOTERS to get the triple-word and BAIZAS. That was 115 points itself. I heard Jen Ho's father assuring William's father that his son already had the winning edge. Now, I feel miserable. Pressure built its foundation in my heart and I just let everything slide downhill. It's over, I lost. No use fighting anymore. I didn't bother getting rid of the high-point tiles and William got 26 points from them alone (nearly as bad as Han Wey's game).

To you, my past self.....If I were there beside you at that time, I would've slapped you to your senses. Even if you didn't win, you could've at the very least TRIED to save your doomed spread!!

Ever since my game with William, my spread never saw the light of optimism again.

I was talking to Leong Yan Mei after that game. It so happened that she was standing next to me while waiting for our tables. It was also coincidential that we were matched against each other for round 10. She had 2 bingoes and considering the fact that I had none, it was still miraculous to know that I only lost by 60 points.

I dropped to table 15 after that, the lowest I could go. I beat Amirul to go against Yan Mei again.

I beat Yan Mei more than she beat me in round 10. This isn't good.

In round 13, guess what? I was up against Yih Feng. Again. Table 8. Again. This time, due to horrible luck, he had FOUR bingoes. That isn't even counting the ones I managed to block. I lost.....very miserably. Ah well, at least my score was above 300.

I dropped to table 12 with Rachel Decruz. Gheek warned me that she was good. I won in the end (and would regret it too).

The final match!!! And look who I'm against! Alvin Lau, last year's number 5! Hooray, I believe I can fall. This is probably the dumbest game I have ever played in my entire life!! Every rack I had was a bingo!!! But you know what? There was no place to put the damn word. I passed one turn, hoping that Alvin would put out a tile to my favour. "First time I've seen someone pass". You can say that again. I'm the first person I know to pass too. Luckily I made EXCUSINGS, thanks to E hook. Next time, I know better than to wait for my opponent to play a tile to my benefit. I'll just sacrifice the idiotic bingo and play. I can't believe I wasted a whole game of bingoes. I lost this round and cursed it. If I won, I could've made it to top 15. It was a total screw-up. FUMINGS doesn't exist??!! Geez.

I must say that I'm still dissatisfied with the overall tournament.

Firstly, I wasn't aiming for top 25. I just wanted to have a postitive spread. Unfortunately, thanks to "high" points, I was sent to the elite and they destroyed my spread. Way to go.

Secondly, I realised that I give up easily. Next time, I'll at least fight for my spread.

Thirdly, I should've won at least one more game to get into top 15.

Fourthly, I'm just four positions away from top 20.

Fifth, I could've taken care of my spread a bit more to slide into top 20.

Sixth, I need to be more consistent.

Seventh, I actually regret winning(?!).

Last but not least, DJ scrabblers need a revamp.

A few other things that I didn't mention in the above might amuse you. In each monorail station, they put a different kind of animal up for show. KL Sentral had an Iguana, which spurred Gheek and I to talk about Cassandra's sister, who promptly scared Gheek on MSN.

"Hi, I'm Iggy the Iguana. My back is "scaly" like the keys on a piano. Wanna stroke me? ABCDEFGABCCCCCC!!!!!"

Among the other things Cassie's sis says are :

"You know, the teachers at school are always going on about how bad our batch is compared to other batches so I tell them they are old fashioned and I think that's fair because I'm only returning their compliment. But they always misunderstand me and ask me to stand outside class. I feel this is unfair so I start screaming names at the teacher. Other teachers from other classes come out to see what the commotion is all about and they see me and they start screaming at me. To silence me, my teacher comes out and puts his hand over my mouth but I bite it hard and he starts cursing and saying, "I can't take this crap anymore", and I'm like : "Who is crapping?You is crapping?". So he takes his bag and swings it at me in an attempt to hit me but I grab it and swing it hard onto his face and so he leaves school with a swollen hand, bleeding gums and a foul mouth.This has happened to 6 or 7 teachers but they don't expel me 'cos I tell them I know where they live and I'll go to their house and be not so nice...."

"Ooooo!!Cat!!I wanna stroke it and create friction on its fur 'til all its fur drops off and then maybe the flesh will drop off too or giant blisters will start appearing and by this point the cat in my hands will probably go "Meow" in a scared tone but I'll hold on tighter and when I stroke it harder it'll be even more friction-ny and if I'm lucky it'll just fade away.....Friction!!"

Morbid kid. Gheek's morbid too.

On the second day, we loitered in Borders. Shu Wen accidentally misplaced her dad's phone and....it was lost and never found.

After reading Hui Jan's latest post about how her version of the MSA went (and what William Kang said), I would like to say Hi to all of you out there who are currently reading my lame experience. Nice to meet you in the internet world. I would appreciate it if you said Hi too, so at least I know who discovered my elusive blog and in case you try to take revenge on me next year. =/

Happy holidays. Don't forget to pray for me in case my maths teacher kills me for my answer.

PS : No, seriously, say Hi.

Malaysian Choral Eisteddfod

2009-06-05T18:55:00.005+08:00

MCE was considered quite interesting, although last year's one offered more lovable songs choices. However, people were more friendly this year. Or maybe it's because I took more photos of the other choirs.

My nametag was really off the planet and thanks to Zi Ying and her grand ideas, my identity has been revealed to human technology. Zi Ying was supposed to "carry me" in front of a Seafield guy's camcorder. Due to lack of guts, we ended up just showing our nametags to Justin's camcorder. They were weird enough to compensate the circus show. Species : Harmonix A. I probably can't get weirder than this.

The 2 weirdos Samuel and Wei Le weren't there, so apparently I couldn't fool around as much (these people talk nonsense as much as I do). At least, Samuel Tee wasn't here. There were other Samuels involved in the web, though. Our pianist was Samuel Tan (Roland Open Category 2009 champ). A guy who played the viola looked like Wee Shien's classmate, Samuel. He also resembled Wee Shien's cousin's cousin, another Samuel. So, there are 4 Samuels involved plus a guy who look like 2 of the Samuels. Confusing? My head hurts now.

Anyway, we sang Handel's coronation songs for the kings in the olden days. Very long songs, and very baroque. The lyrics doesn't suit us well and we cut out a lot of parts since we had trouble singing them. Handel must be squirming in his grave. What are they doing to my compositions?

As Zi Ying put it, Handel must be "de-composing" in his grave (pun intended).

In a nutshell, we sang sarcastic songs and all the people rejoiced. Alleluia. [Inside joke, only for MCE participants].

Other achievements : After some debating, I've convinced Zi Ying that violence is not the way out for things.........

PS : Pictures will be out soon
PPS : "Soon" is not defined

"Just Like Adam Lambert"

2009-05-30T19:54:00.014+08:00

(Quoted by either Keefe or Calvin)

When you start saying things like that, you know you're too much into American Idol, not to mention being too sentimental over Adam Lambert's unbelievable loss.

(Let's make this quick)
There were 9 schools involved in the competition.
Captivating images by Zi Ying:

This is SMK Seafield. Trained under Susanna Saw. Sang Tanah Pusaka and One Voice. Didn't see Wei Le. Samuel disappeared to Singapore (for some jazz festival thingy....). No special weirdos were detected. Became 4th in the state.

School: Unidentified
Placing: Unidentified
Wanted: Information on this school
Reward: ...Baskin Robins, anyone?

School: Unidentified
Placing: 7th
Species: Humans

Details of the school is not known as we were on standby outside.

*I am trying to upload the video of us*

This is SMK Kepong. They danced a lot and ended like a musical. Unfortunately, due to the human inability to sing well while dancing, they went slightly flat once vigorous action took place. They won anyway, which puts a gigantic question mark on top of most people's heads.

We wouldn't have minded so much if these ~~guys~~ girls from Convent Klang won. They grabbed 3rd spot after us.

Aha!! My favourite! These guys had PUPPETS!!! And Zi Ying, who says my camera couldn't focus well? =P. Take a look for yourself. You'll find that you have succeeded in photography here.

The picture directly above is the coolest. It looks somewhat "Photoshopped". Only the puppets show. =)And the highest picture is the clearest. Admire your masterpieces, Zi Ying.

I lost concentration here and couldn't really remember their performance.

At the end of everything, random people came out to perform on the piano while waiting for the results to be out. Everyone's positions except the top 3 were announced and Harmonix was ecstatic when we weren't called yet as Seafield was announced 4th.

After all the hype about getting top 3, some of us thought we had a chance to champion the state and made our way to SMK Seafield for the Malaysian Choral Eisteddfod competition (SouthEastAsia level). According to Tracy, both Catholic High School and Seafield would even things out with us there, especially if we screw our songs up.

Unfortunately for her, we DID screw up our 3 songs and thought we would emerge champions from the bottom. After our crappy performance, we watched the other competitors do their part. We secretly started feeling bored--that was, until Rachel whispered our state level results to us.

Number 2.

Holy.

So near.

Yet so far.

Rachel was utterly disappointed. Some others were greatful we actually made it this far. Others like Mel and I morbidly plotted on how to enter the nationals through the back door.

Wide speculation suggested that Kepong won just because of their "showmanship". Dancing? Unfortunately, most people recorded that they went flat once the dancing came in. True or false, you decide.

There was a friendship concert the same night.

Taman Megah!
KL Children's Choir
Seafield B
Harmonix B
Catholic High School
STC Cherubim
Fantastic Fourions
Seafield A
SMK Batu Lintang Choir

Harmonix A
SMK Batu Lintang Choir
SMK Methodist Sibu
Crescendo Voices

I officially declare my camera an artifact. Time to get a new (digital) one.

Abscissa Whurd?

2009-05-28T19:44:00.018+08:00

We stared at the paper and it stared back at us.

Determine the abscissa of point X.

It is quite humiliating to know that our year never learnt this simple vocabulary. Abscissa. That small, taunting word which takes up so little space in our lives, yet still haunts us till today. Abscissa. Echoing. Killing us softly from within. Abscissa. Intimidating our intelligence, reducing our brains to nothing more than a faulty, mushy substance. Abscissa. Lighting our emotions ablaze, cracking our heads like raw eggs, just to come up with an answer, an escape from the loss of depression. Abscissa. That one mark which separates us from a perfect score. The death of a student's confidence, admitting defeat to the mere existence of a three-syllable word.

Humble humiliation.

There was a dark void over that question, seemingly preventing students from interfering with the unnatural disaster taking place. Many left it as it is, deciding not to mess with the course of their ill fate of twisted misinterpretation. But one student presented the magnitude of the situation best, with a twinge of exasperated honesty in it:

"To the horror of both examiner and candidate, the abscissa could not be identified due to lack of comprehension." -Yours truly-

Ahem. Couldn't help it!

American Idol 8

2009-05-22T16:38:00.023+08:00

American Idol Season 8 has come and gone.

Now, I can finally take pride in my "special ability" to predict wrong American Idols, seeing that I have done so for 4 consecutive seasons. From Chris Daughtry (season 5) to Blake Lewis (6), from David Archuleta (7) to Adam Lambert. They were succeeded by Taylor Hicks (5), Jordin Sparks (6), David Cook (The Epic Battle of the Davids) and now, Kris Allen. Either I have a knack for choosing the "wrong" Idol, or it's America. (Don't throw eggs at me, okay?!!)

I'm not a die-hard fan of the show, but the difference this year is Adam Lambert. There's just no telling what's he going to do next. Everything's a surprise. He's the most consistent singer throughout the whole season and is probably the strongest contestant in Idol history. Yes, I know he screeches, if that's what you Kris Allen fans are going to say, but the screeching does not affect his performance (it just adds more colour) nor does it overshadow his musical talents.

I do admit that the top 4 contestants (Kris Allen [1], Adam Lambert [2], Danny Gokey [3], Allison Iraheta [4]) were really good, but Adam was one notch above them all (make that two notches). I acknowledge that Kris is good, but Adam is better. He is musically talented, but not as talented as his fellow finalist. Kris's singing and his version of "No Boundaries" was good, but Adam's was milestones ahead, so there's no excuse that Kris's ending song made him get the votes. Really, who said this song only fitted Kris? I thought Adam was way better. (I'm aware that some prefer Kris's voice to Adam's, but it's the singing, the music and the talent that's supposed to determine the winner.)

To me, Adam deserved the title more than anyone else.

On the other side of the camp, Kris really rose to the occassion. He just kept getting better and better. I especially liked Apologize and Heartless. Maybe the votes swung halfway......?

But anyway, it's over. Yeah, I can probably accept Kris as the next American Idol. (I told you I'm not that much of an A.I. fanatic). But I can also rest assured that Adam Lambert is the real idol in the eyes of the world.

I know that there are some people enjoying/fuming over the results.

Let's hear what you have to say........

Inspirational Essays

2009-05-16T21:33:00.008+08:00

There are many English Freaks in my school. Most of them are really logically challenged. So, it's no surprise that they come up with "sensational" essays. If you think all teenagers are a boring bunch of people accompanied with passive thinking, then here are some creative ideas to prove your stand wrong.

Ordinary instructions:

You have to go to the railway station to meet your cousin. Since there is no local bus service, you go by taxi instead. Write about your journey to the railway station and the surroundings. Your essay must not be less than 100 words.

The expected essay:

I had to go to the railway station to meet my cousin. I hailed a taxi and got in. As we drove down the road, I saw shops on my left. Soon, we reached a roundabout. Going clockwise, we took the second exit off the roundabout onto Jalan Ambang. On my left I saw a football field that was full of people. Further down the road, I saw a playground that was also full of people. We reached a set of traffic lights. We turned right. I looked out the window and noticed a big shopping complex. At the T-junction at the end of the road, we turned left. The petrol station on my left was full of people. And just ahead of the petrol station was my destination -- the railway station.

Note that the paragraph above contains 133 words -- more than the number of words specified. It also contains all the points, as well as copious amounts of boringness. -The English Freak-

And these were the ideas of famous EF Khoo Ghee Ken and his eccentric cohorts from 3 Balau:

1) Ultraman landed on the football field and started fighting some huge exotic alien wildlife.

2) I left home driving my lorry, which was filled with TNT. I rushed to the railway station, but accidently crashed into the petrol station, causing my face, as well as many others', to be published in the newpaper obituary.

3) I left home driving my lorry, which was filled with TNT, and crashed into the petrol station again. However, due to the fact that I was King Leoric, I survived the crash and explosion.

4) I decided to drive out of the map since I figured that it would be a faster way to the railway station.

5) I found out about a horrible traffic jam, and decided to hire a jet instead.

Bravo, 3 Balau-ans, bravo! You have earned my everlasting respect for your eccentricity. May you pass/fail your exams with FAILING colours.

Conclusion:
1. Teenagers have violently active minds.
2. Exaggeration is a trillion times worse than understatements. (*Nudgenudgewinkwink*)

Cataclysm

2009-05-09T10:56:00.027+08:00

It starts with accidents.

Accidents happen.

When a virus spreads quickly and is speculated to become the next global pandemic equivalent to the Spanish Flu or "La Grippe", that's an accident not contained.

When an idiot suddenly swerves in front of your car and you have no time to hit the brakes, that's an accident.

When you forgot you are the sole reporter for a dull and boring event, say the Ikrar PMR and SPM, that's a mental accident. (Considering yourself a responsible reporter, it is your duty to lie that all the students were holy angels who paid their full attention). However, if you get to see your school's legend (John Lee Si Ang), at least you got something out of it.

Other accidents happen when your alarm clock stops dead one hour before its supposed to blow its head off. Then, you can't wake up, go to school, and witness your friends suffering from the sadistic punishments you created for them in a game where they are supposed to memorize stupid moral definitions for our exam-oriented school. You can't see your friends making that sarcastic speech of your "beloved" form teacher, or reciting the "sajak", or dancing around the class with a broom.

When people from your choir forgot to wear the required uniforms for the Choral Eidsteddfod ("Choral Festival" in Welsh) group photos, you're forced to skip your chemistry lesson when your other friends get to see how acidified potassium manganate (VII) solution loses its purple tint to the reaction between lead sulphide and oxygen and heat. Then, your mentally challenged form teacher tells you, the treasurer, to return everyone's money back to them since the workbook she wanted to order for your class was out of stock. Yes, screw her.

Finally, on the last day of the week, things start to look up and go your way. You don't have to change in the rotten school toilets and you didn't miss your science lesson. You managed to see how calcium and sodium react with water (and even noticed a rare spark in the reaction between sodium and water when everyone else missed it), and you witnessed how magnesium reacted to oxygen and heat.

You managed to memorize 5 stupid moral definitions, word for word, a few minutes before Moral period started. You get called up and said everything with a distinction. You managed to pick your forgetful class monitor out and watched her succumb to your punishment to recite a malay poem when she miraculously fished out your punishment. You clarify what sort of recitation you are looking for and set the parameters on how to read it "correctly", just as how your mad teacher did. Apart from getting a satisfactory recitation from her, your row has achieved the impossible when all 5 people in your row was picked (fished out randomly from a box). You discovered a classmate's interesting habit of yelling at people, "Why can't I do that? Sue me-lah!", "Cannot-ah? Sue me-lah!" and one thousand other things about sueing him.

The newspaper was great too. The politicians in Perak have gained world recognition by acted like zoo animals. If Jessica knew about this, she would have suggested that they came from the bird parks. From the Democracy Tree incident on square root day (3/3/09) to policemen dragging the Speaker out (V. Sivakumar), from Hee Yit Foong crossing over to Barisan and being the first DAP politician to cause the downfall of a state government to the politician throwing money around. Pakatan politician Thomas Su threw a RM50 note at Hee Yit Foong since he said she was so desperate for money. Apparently, she was alleged to have crossed sides for a new car and more money, which she wasn't eligible to get in Pakatan, which was a more honest political party. The bonus came when a picture of Thomas Su standing on the table came out in the news. Next to him was someone who truly enjoyed the argument : a politician using his camera!! Haha. Wonderful. As Cassandra puts it, "These guys-ah, too much already...".

As you think about your odd experiences, you start to appreciate all that has happened this week. Things are slowly starting to look up.

Then, things move on to tragedy.

When your morally flawed classmate sitting behind you suddenly goes aggressive for no apparent reason and pushes the notorious pranker down from his chair, in turn causing you and your best friend to fall from your chairs, you've got yourself a tragedy. Of course, your fall only took place because the other boys in class had to swarm all over him and this resulted in lots of pushing--in your direction, unfortunately.

[And the fight started because Wan Jyn kept throwing Delon's book back at him].

Attention-seeker or tree-lover gone overboard?

Either way, you wonder when the black hole grew in his head, sucking away all his rationality and wreaking havoc with his emotions.

Fortunately for your school, there were no Batai-an casualties. Batai-ans are an expensive lot. =D

And then, there's cataclysm.

The enigmatic Atlantis, was it real?

All races share the story of a great flood that destroyed an entire civilization. The name Atlantis appears in various forms throughout the world. The Canary Islands have a legend involving Atalaya. The Basques of Northern Spain have Atlaintica. The Vikings told the tale of Atli. Northern Africa called it Attala. The Aztecs have Aztlán, and the North American Indians called theirs Azatlán.

According to the continental drift theory, all the continents fit together, like a jigsaw puzzle. If you look at a map, you will see that the continents really do fit together- with the exception of the USA in North America and Western Europe. Could Atlantis be the missing piece?

Well, there are some who speculate that the Bermuda Triangle may the resting spot for Atlantis, since there have been very mysterious occurences there. Many planes and ships have gone missing and no evidence of them were found. Gasp. There are also underwater pyramids. Read more if interested. It supposedly ended with a bang. Something like the end of the world--which only happened to them.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, there's the apocalypse, which is nearing. Modern-day scientists have identified the asteroid Apophis coming straight at Earth and calculated that it might hit us on (Friday) the 13th of April 2029. If that scared you, listen to this. The ancient Mayans predicted that the world would end on the 21st of December 2012. If we survive that period, then we've come to "a new era", as that day marks the genesis of a new beginning and a new world. Or it could also be the beginning of an end.

But really, does it need to be that far? Honestly, the apocalypse is arriving in a week's time as the tides of exams wait for no puny student.

Students, if we all survive this, we can do anything.

[Enough epic crap. Good luck to you!]

Crisis At the Bookstore

2009-05-02T17:08:00.007+08:00

You must be asking yourself now, "How old is this nut who is writing all these crap?", right? Well, let me give you a few pointers to allow you to roughly guess my age.

When I went to China, the people there thought I was probably older than 17 or something, since I was taller than most locals. In a shopping complex closer to home, a bunch of innocent humans swarmed around me to give me balloons. Just today, a few fellows thought I was a baby and allowed my mother to park at a privileged spot specially for those who came with "babies".

Enigmas.

No, I'm not like Benjamin Button. I think it's just people with very bad eyesight.

Oh, that reminds me of Adam Lambert. What sort of freak results were those? Bottom three? Hmm....speculate, speculate.

~~The world is going crazy!!! What happened to the scrabble tournament?!!!!~~

Bookstores are dangerous places to be in. According to my experience, I ALWAYS get lost in there. Plus, my parents and relatvies always ditch me there. Am I really that bookworm-ish?

Mission Accomplished

2009-04-30T17:08:00.012+08:00

It was roughly 12.45 in the afternoon. The oppressive silence was murderous. As we all held our hands in prayers, our opponent sat coolly behind us, watching. And there we were, expecting the worst, yet hoping for the best.

Barely hours ago, we were running around the hall. No, not training for the running events, but warming up. And we reached Yuk Chai at 10.30 to calm ourselves down. After some light-hearted chat in the canteen, we smuggled ourselves to a quiet corner not far from the canteen to warm up. After that, we made our panicky way up to the auditorium to test out the stage.

Nicholas banged his head on the speaker on the way down, which, as everyone speculates, caused a little "mental havoc" in his head temporarily. He was the only one "dancing on his chair" before we went onstage. He affected Foo Wai too, who was sitting next to him. At least we had 2 clowns around to keep us from gearing ourselves into full panic mode. Plus, Nicholas was 2 seats from me (next to Shoen-Wei [oh, no! I can't spell her name!]) while Foo Wai was 3 seats away (Both were on my left).

We sang around 11.35. The whole performance was so intense that I think I actually entered a trance-like state whereby I can't think or remember anything else other than the present moment.

After our performance (no more Nicholases were hurt throughout the entire competition), we went back to our seats and bit our nails while listening to the others. In the end, after many complicated invitations.......*drum rolls*, it was the moment of truth.

The 3rd to 6th places were announced. The biggest shock was when CHS was announced 2nd runner-up. That only left Bandar Utama 4 and us.

Everyone held each other by the hands and closed their eyes. The silence in the auditorium was deafening. The emcee, Mr Eugene, was mean enough to keep the suspension going on for a long time.

Who will win?

Well, we proudly bring back the news that today, on the Thursday of the 30th of April 2009, the forms 3-5 of Damansara Jaya 2009 managed to break free from a 7-year chain which restricted our choir team from championing the Petaling Utama district. At last. After SEVEN YEARS.

Yes, scream and shout!!! We won!!!!

You should have seen our reaction when they announced Bandar Utama 4 (BU4) as the runner-up. That could only mean that we won!! Everyone had delayed reactions, since we weren't expecting something like this.

Initially, we thought we would lose to Catholic High School (CHS) and Bandar Utama 4. But when they announced the 3rd place to be CHS, we thought we had a chance, mainly because BU4 wasn't that suicidal in their first song. Their "Phantom of the Opera", however, was quite hair-raising for the first few moments. They later sank to a less scary performance.

While I'm trying to get the videos from those who have recorded the whole thing (The first time I did not bring a camera to a competition. How pathetic), I might as well say random things.

Firstly, we were "unlucky" enough to fish for the first performance TWICE while balloting. Twice because one of our students balloted on behalf of Pn Cecilia. When Pn Cecilia sensed we got the first performance, she decided to ballot herself. Voila! It came out as number ONE again. While most saw it as an omen, some thought it would be a setback as we would be all "tensed up". We were just told in the bus by Pn Cecilia (and reinforced by Keefe) that the only word in our vocabulary throughout the whole event (except our lyrics) was to be "ONE". So, let us be [number] one from all aspects.

Miss Tracy told us to set a high standard, since we were the first school to kickstart the competition. We're not quite sure how we did in the end either, since none of us saw the video yet. We have yet to hear Miss Tracy's comments on Monday's practice anyway. Altogether, it proved that we DID manage to hold the benchmark high enough. Hooray!!

The most interesting random facts is that the BU1 people thought our uniform was "kinky". Actually, they didn't mean to tell that right in our faces. They said that to Zi Ying, who was a reserve and therefore wasn't wearing our "kinky" uniform. According to her, the conversation went something to the lines of these:

[Unidentified BU1 girl]
[Zi Ying]

Hello. Which school are you from?
DJ.
Oh, okay. Have you seen that school over there, that one with the kinky uniform?
What kinky uniform?
The group that's wearing all black. (Geez, she makes us sound so morbid. It's actually DARK BLUE, missy.....)
*Whispers urgently to Jhia Yim, then turns back to the girl* Oh.....oops.......I think that's us.
Oh. Alright. *Looks really disgusted and walks away*

When we heard that we won, everyone screamed like mad people. Zi Ying took this opportunity to scream at the BU1 students, "IN YOUR FACE!! (Suckers!!)".

Oh, everyone cried while jumping like rabbits. I think this is the first time I've ever truly hugged anyone, especially bear-hugging. I admit I was so overcame with emotion that I actually hugged so many people, even including the guys. What a rare phenomenon. Wait, actually this is the first time. Wow, I sound so cold. It's like I've never hugged anyone before. Oh well, it was a great feeling anyway, being able to hug someone knowing that you've achieved your dreams. Zi Ying was strong enough to carry me up and swing me around.

Heh, I see we've risen up to DJ's debating and cheerleading reputation. The doors are opening up, at last.

As Jessica puts it, "Keep up the good work!"

The ambiguous details point that maybe, just maybe, the state levels could clash with our mid-term examinations. Unlike the other genius, Mel, I'd be glad to skip mid-term to compete for the state. But then again, the "details" were given by a so-called inefficient lady. Bleh.

Famous quotes from choir members (stolen from Zi Ying's blog):

If Zi Ying could, I'm sure she would jump down the second tier the moment the results were announced. -Mel-
Nicholas banged his head and went nuts. -Liiyung-
You coconut! Where are my shoes?! Why did you take my shoes?! -Nicholas-*said to Zi Ying*
It has been a "long" journey. -Keefe-
We'd better make it into Nationals so that the boys can wear their black shirts. -Rachel-
We are the first team to go up, the team who got first, and the last team standing here waiting for our bus. -Pn. Cecilia-

Note to self: In case I look back on these picture decades later, I'm the one standing in the last row, fourth from left.

Seafield up next!

Mysteries of the World

2009-04-25T23:52:00.007+08:00

Woohoo!!! Our form teacher is pregnant!! That means we'll be able to avoid her for......hmm....90 days? Everybody jump and scream!!! However, I pity the foetus in her womb. Poor soul. She/He doesn't know who the uterus belongs to. [Actually, one can only wonder who on earth wants to own the baby with her]. That witch.

Okay, enough talk about the witch. I can't possibly do that on a friend's birthday, especially when she's hoping for the teacher to run away too. Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MELISSA!! Now we can all hate the Petaling district together =).

It's also a delight to know that I escaped from being caught by the vast number of prefects scrutinizing every student during the Monday assembly. Looks like the mistake of "not wearing the tie" has been degraded to "not a mistake at all". So now, everyone is encouraged not to wear ties to school on Mondays as no prefect will notice. *Laugh together with me*.

Anyway, dogs are addicted to licking their own paws. Once they start, they can't stop. And that's why Silkie is wearing a cone around her head now. Poor dog.

And this is for Cassandra:
You know, the Rahman Putra club president loves to sue his club members for "trying to defame him". Rumours have it that he spent more than 100,000 ringgit from sueing people. His lawyer is said to live a happy and full life. Good thing the club is going to change the president tomorrow (26/4, Sunday).

(Forgive the posts which are getting shorter and shorter)
[You copycat!!]

A Dedication

2009-04-24T22:16:00.013+08:00

Sometimes,
I wonder what the world would be like
Without you.
What you say,
The way you think,
It changes everything.
You think it's different
But does it show?
Do you take the effort?
Are you a compulsive liar,
Or just plain unconscious about yourself?
Oh how I would love to burst your bubble,
That childish belief
In your own impeccability.

*Dedicated to several human beings who don't know what they're doing.*

Finally, American Idol is down to the final 5. Things should get more interesting......I remembered I used to think Adam Lambert was freaky since the goth style was quite distracting (no, don't throw your eggs yet!). But then, his vocal prowess convinced me later on. And, not to mention the amazing ability to change an upbeat disco song into a slow ballad-styled song. Super cool.

"Keep up the good work." -Jessica Goh- =P

Since I've mentioned Jessica's quote, I might as well tell you that the people within the vicinity of Jessica's insanity has been catching this "quote virus" very easily. I'd love to inject this madness into our choir group, but figured that we were already mad enough anyway. Darn choir!! (Mel knows this too.....).

You know what? It would've been a very interesting lesson if Yi Jing had done the star jumps. She couldn't answer the question in the Moral subject game and had to pick a piece of paper with her doom written on it. She got my punishment and was very shocked to find that she had to star jump through the entire corridor of the block containing the most classrooms. Not surprisingly, when she read that punishment out to the class, everyone stared straight at me. Geez, was it that obvious that I wrote it? (Must be my signature weird stuff). Every other punishment was just the same old boring stuff like pay money to the class fund (YES!!!!!). So mine should have been carried out. I mean, how often do you see students star-jumping along the corridor?

Unfortunately, the teacher thought it was too troublesome, not to mention time-consuming. She ended paying to the class fund anyway, which benefits me as well.

Wow. It just occured to me that my class is lucky I'm not under the Production department in Nostalgia. If I was, I'd be waving the advertisement paper at the class everyday yelling at the world to sponsor the school's magazine.

Be afraid. Be very very afraid.

*PS : Can you PLEASE click >HERE< and warm up all the darn eggs?

Turmoil

2009-04-18T09:57:00.017+08:00

Ignore the title for the time being and allow a moment of laughter.

What would you do if a friend broke a trophy you've earned?
A. Cry
B. Put up a fight
C. Request for a new one
D. Blame the school for giving out lousy trophies
E. Laugh

As dumb/weird as it seems, I laugh.

For example:
On Monday, Cassandra accidentally (mis)placed my Maths quiz trophy on the edge of my table, causing it to fall 1000 metres under the sea XD. It broke into two pieces seconds before my Maths teacher walked into the classroom. While the whole class made primitive howls and groans and gasps, I sat there calmly, staring at my trophy.

Laughing.

Yes, laughing.

The fragile trophy is broken, why am I laughing??

I'm not very sure about that myself, but think of it this way: Now, I can live happily ever after and tell everyone about the heroic adventures of my trophy, how it fell to its doom, how it was saved in the end.......Something like that. I wouldn't want to waste my time hating the school for giving such lousy trophies to the students, nor do I wish to blame a friend who made my trophy's life more epic and exciting.

And, just as I've read somewhere, if you accept your current situation, things work out well. In the end, (thanks to the lousy trophy), the broken part could actually be fixed back to normal (how worthy). And I've got a bonus. My trophy now makes an odd clicking sound which I can use to annoy people or maybe even play it as an instrument. NOW, my trophy harbours rich experiences the others didn't get. Serves you right, people. Go break your trophies!!

Oh, about the quizzes.....There were the Maths and Science categories. Out of 6 winners, 3 Batai swept 5 spots. Hallelujah!!! We completely sabotaged both the quizzes. Only the winner for the Maths quiz hailed from Balau (Ghee Ken). Angeline and I secured the other 2 spots for Maths. You should've heard the teacher's voice when she announced the Science winners.

"Adrian John Leong [something something] from 3 Batai.......Lim Jon Zhen, also from 3 Batai.......and Wong Wan Jyn.....ALSO from 3 Bataiiiii......"

She was getting bored of mentioning our class and was delighted when she saw 3 Balau's name.

First for Maths was Gheek, second was me, third was Angeline.

Okay, so it's not a very good achievement after all. I blame myself for being careless [as well as the school for not specifying certain things]. I could've got that idiotic Science quiz prize too if it weren't for stupid mistakes! Darndarndarndarndarn. I lost to Wan Jyn by ONE mark. Pht.

Back in class [after my trophy's resurrection], Cas was talking to me about the positions in a competition.

Cassandra
Me

The only problem with the 3 medals is the silver medal.
Oh really? Why?
If you got the bronze, you can say, "At least I got something." If you got the gold, you'll say, "At least I won the whole thing." But if you get the silver, all you can say is, "I ALMOST won."
No, that's not true. If I get the silver medal, I can always say, "At least I got the nicest colour among all three medals!"

Well, silver goes well with turqouise trophies. Yeah, the trophies are turqouise. Transparent turquoise. The best part is.....it's "scratchy"! Something similar to the likes of frosted glass. Good thing I like that texture.

During choir practice on the same day, I managed to manipulate Zi Ying's thoughts. She was busy killing plants when I told her about some scientific mumbo jumbo about caterpillars and how they devour the plant from within. Then came the ridiculous part when I told her she might have baby caterpillars on her hands. Melissa helped the psychological attack and Zi Ying quickly ran off to wash her hands. Manipulative people like me would ask her to washed between her nails in case caterpillars........*eatyourcuticle* do something too obnoxious to be mentioned here.

Bright moments aside.........

There seems to be something that's irritating me a lot since the start of this week. Various people are digging their graves in my heart. One of them is, you can guess, Pn Nomi. Gosh, she is starting to really get on my nerve. Thank goodness the fire drill ate up 10 minutes of her lesson. Only. Oh, Bossy, Irritating, Tainted Chicken-Head. Read the initials if you didn't get it.

Apart from her, the new government is really egging me now. I'm not supposed to say much, but you get the point. THEY'RE NOT CHANGING THE EDUCATION SYSTEM!!!!!! [And loads of other disturbing facts about the PM].

I don't know what I've been doing lately, but a strange feeling has popped up all of a sudden. 2 strange feelings, actually.

-----------------------

They don't notice,
Only because they don't know.

The Entertainer

2009-04-11T21:45:00.018+08:00

If I were to blog about this week, it would be about how I managed to juggle my time as The Entertainer for MAC, the "highlight" of the year, as well as managing to conquer Mount Homework (after many failed attempts to do so). That would make my post seem lifeless because, as you can guess, what other things does it involve other than skipping lessons?

The only interesting incident (which I missed out on) was seeing the "masterpiece" of the 4 Belian madmen, who constantly invade our classroom, since they are one of the "floating classes". Poor Sha Lynn and gang.

Apparently, their boys played a belated April Fool's prank on our class monitor's (and gang's) books by interlocking a pair of textbooks together (and applying glue on "strategic pages" to make sure both books never come off). I wonder why I never thought of that as a prank to play on others.

Anyway, today was the special day for all the nerds of the school, who took the limelight in the hall. The day I perform for those nerds like some maniac. The same goes for Yean Yi and Rachel, but I think I was the worst nut of all.

The violin performance wasn't well coordinated and I don't think everyone heard us. Geez, both of us violinists were supposed to get our own mic. But because Pn Cecilia thought we overpowered the singers, we were reduced to one mic for both, and ended up being so soft that no one could hear us.

We changed like crazy after our violin performance. Thanks to Mel's long-sleeved shirt, I could cheat my time and I ended up changing the fastest (eventhough I took my own sweet time to walk to the toilet), with an extra 5 minutes to spare before the choir's next performance. (Zi Ying pointed out that I could run with heels on. Never really noticed that myself since my heels are "quite short"). No sarcasm intended.

The choir went well, but Timothy said our diction for the English song was terrible. (Choir members, this is feedback from the audience......).

For those who weren't there to perform or receive any prizes.....hmmm, that's odd. Why would they want to turn up in school at all?

Let's review the statistics. All the classes only have 2-15-studens present. What about 3 Batai? 26 pupils. Now, this really forces us to reconsider placing this (weird) class as "the smartest class". Especially when oddballs like Timothy, Shafiq and Cassandra are about. (Oh, and me too....)

Eventhough we didn't do much in school because the teachers are eating..........I felt really amused and even glad that I turned up. Why? All thanks to the weird nuts.

It all started during recess. The performers and the oustanding students got to eat free food. And because I don't eat chicken (yes, I'm a pescetarian), I had to cajole Timothy to eat my chicken (and the rest of my rice) for me. Then all of a sudden, he became crazy and accused me of "trying to take over the world by forcing everyone to become fat". According to him, once everyone gets fat, they can't chase me otherwise they'll die of a heart attack. And he alleged me of trying to "make him fat". Goodness, Timothy exercises for more than 2 hours a day and he says he'll get fat??

Then, he went on talking about lots of illusionary crap and eventually ended up with stories of his old school. He kept saying his old school was "so stupid". There was this malay guy who actually came up to him and asked: "Timothy, kamu Portugis, kan?" (Timothy, you're a Portugese, aren't you?). Holy crap! His surname is SIM! TIMOTHY SIM. Not some long, english-like name. It's extremely obvious that Tim's a CHINESE.

And after that, the same guy asked: "Timothy, "Sim" tu maksud apa?" (Timothy, what does "Sim" mean?). *Bangs head*.

And for another time, the same guy got a 20-something mark for his maths exam. Do you know what he asked his teacher?

"Am I the highest?"
Teacher: From the bottom, or from the top?

Man, he really got Shu Wen and I howling with laughter. The people around us must have thought we were out of our minds. Well, that was probably what Calvin and Kelvin thought. XP. They were both sitting opposite us (at different times) and were tracking our conversation from Scrabble to those nonsensical topics. (Kelvin plays scrabble too! Yay!). I must say poor Timothy has finally lost it.

It was Cassandra and Shafiq's turn when we went back to class (in 3 Belian). We combined with Belian and Semarak. Shafiq was initially showing us stupid/amusing card tricks which had something to do with heartbeats. I'm really terrible at card tricks and so, I found his trick highly interesting. Unfortunately, he wouldn't say a thing about his secret trick as it was "using his own heartbeat".

Cassandra finally made a breakthrough by changing the topic into "dares". She dared Shafiq to "confess his love" for the teacher in front of the class. He brushed it off as an easy stunt. Obviously easier than what he was about to dare Cas.

In the end, Cas had to do star-jumps from Pn Lam's class all the way up to the end of the coridor, which means embarassing herself in front of the other teachers.

She didn't finish the feat anyway, but she did embarass herself a lot in front of Pn Lam's class.

The public phone in the school has also joined in the mad fun. All it said the whole time was : "Error: Failed to read card" or something along that line. As Cas and I were wandering elsewhere to look for a functional phone, Cas freaked a Form 4 guy out.

"Hi, human".

I think he was a little too freaked out as he let us use the phone first. And we found out that this phone booth was completely dead. Cas continued to freak the poor guy out and even told him he looked like a certain scrabble freak we know of.

Poor human.

I ended up using Iman's handphone. Oops. Don't say anything, okay? (Phones not allowed.....)

Oustanding moments written down. Now, I can clean my natural hard disk.

Debate Workshop

2009-04-04T23:59:00.029+08:00

Debate Workshop
Then, there was today. Quite an "amusing" day on my behalf. April Fools are abundant wherever you go and today seems to prove just that.

I arrived in school to find myself being surrounded by all the other English freaks of the school. I stuck by Melissa's side as she was a mosquito magnet, which made me safe from mosquito attacks. I was scaring almost everyone when I said I brought a scrabble word list along. Suddenly, everyone seemed to back away, as if the nerdy virus was contagious or something. We went to HELP college without Ghee Ken, the second scrabble freak of the school (he went for Ceng Beng).

Once there, we helped ourselves with glorious food. The sandwiches were great (No, they're not heavenly. Just ordinary). After our quick breakfast, we made our way to level 4. The debaters would be in the auditorium while the "trainees" attending the workshop would be in another sad room.

Us Form 3s, being "trainees", had to be separated from our legendary counterparts. We shedded our respectable DJ debater roles and went into full-kiddy mode (or maybe that just applied to me). Melanie (she wasn't wearing her prefect uniform) was really fooling around, hunting for "cute" guys. She obviously had nothing better to do. I borrowed Daniel's blazer (the prefects except Krystle and Melanie brought their blazers along so as to look "professional"). Oops, those 2 prefects are only Daniel and Shu Wen.

Anyway, Melanie found out that some guy's name was Christopher after amusing herself by having eye contacts with people around the room. All I did the whole time was to bore Emily, Daniel and Shu Wen about scrabble, scrabble and scrabble. Apparently, I noticed I was the noisiest person overall, losing only to Melanie. I think everyone thought I was mad, talking so animatedly about a boring topic called Scrabble. Luckily the room wasn't half full yet. Yet.

All of a sudden, the whole room turned into a carnival, with people walking and running everywhere. Then, us DJians were saying something about a black-shirted guy who was Daniel's cousin being present. After a few seconds of topsy-turviness, we made new friends when Melanie introduced yet another guy (sigh) to us named Kar Jin.

Since no one was sitting on my left, some guy had to squeeze in (geez, of all spots). Then, he introduced himself as Kai Hung and said he was from Methodist Boys School (MBS) a.k.a. Monkey Boys School. Amusing. After figuring he should be intelligent enough, I started to strike an intellectual conversation regarding scrabble in his school, but failed to get any results except lots of groaning and moaning from my schoolmates.

Then, we met another girl named Juliana from some school. (Melanie makes friends fast).

After a while, a few people called all the Form 4 students over to the auditorium. Thinking it would be better there, Natasha, Zi Ying and I ran over to check out what's up. Actually, Form 3's weren't allowed there, but being DJians (proud smirk), Pn Tan gave us the unauthorized permission to masquerade as Form 4 students for the day and sit there in the auditorium. So, the 3 of us ran around like kids here and there to call our fellow friends. The MBS people weren't convinced and said that the smaller room was better (we had to watch the workshope from the other room through a small screen). I won't pick that option.

And so, we went to the auditorium and I ended up sitting behind a guy with extremely spiky hair. After a while, the MBS came to join us in the auditorium and sat behind us. I managed to squash most of the major points in one A4 page while Natasha had to go and waste paper.

I noticed I couldn't see the screen that clearly from the beginning. The spiky hair in front of me didn't make matters any better. If the guy sat up straight, his hair looked as if it were eating up the speaker who was busy pointing out important winning factors. When he tilted his head to the right, his hair would completely pulverize the speaker. His hair also ate up part of the screen, which caused more problems. At one point, I just wanted to act uncivilized, lick my 2 palms, and just push all his hair down flat on his head. Sadly, I didn't have the guts to do that. I was sitting next to a teacher.

During one point Mr Latif, the workshop speaker, said that adding statistical analysis in your argument doesn't necessarily determine the outcome of the debate. At that point, I got so frustrated with out loss I actually said out loud, "Screw that debate round......". The guy in front of me and his friend turned behind to see a cartoon agonizing over some funny problem. Our adjudicator was in the toilet and didn't hear that!!! AAAAAAhhhhhhh. Pn Tan!!! Why? Why? Why?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being kiasu.

After that moment, the guy in front kept looking behind at me, as if I was some serial killer or something, waiting to pounce and lash at him (okay, maybe that was what I planned to do anyway).

At the end of the 1st session, we had a break. Out of nowhere, the guy in front of me asked me what school we (bunch of freaks) were from. Natasha and I were like, "DJ, Damansara Jaya!" And I think the guy is some sort of psychic because he asked me after that, "Was my hair blocking you?"

Gosh, that was amusing. I didn't even say that to anyone. And then, he called Zi Ying and Natasha and I were surprised. Zi Ying and him were from the same class last time (meaning he was same age as us, get it?) and apparently, HE was Daniel's cousin. I think he changed his shirt or something (or maybe my ears need changing). Big whoops. Fortunately I didn't have the guts to be mean to him, otherwise I would end up as DJ's prefectorial target of harassment. Oh, he was quite good-looking too, anyway. (I'm sorry, Daniel. Don't tell your cousin what I said about the fingers one......oops....).

We were further interrogated by Daniel's cousin (I'm even more sorry here, since I did not find out what his name was) about what form we were in. [I'll just call this guy DC until he gets a name from either Zi Ying or Daniel himself].

To be very sure of our circumstances, Zi Ying and I went down to question Latif personally. While waiting, we heard some pretty amusing questions being asked as well. When it finally came to our turn, he asked which school we came from. When we answered "DJ for Damansara Jaya," you should have seen everyone's reactions. All those students from other schools gasped as though they just saw ghosts. Oh, this is what you get for being in the top debating school. It was awesome when the Form 4 students stared at us with awe and respect. Even the college kids were staring at us like heroes. That was, until we mentioned we were "trainees".

The atmosphere wasn't that serious, actually. The debaters preparing for the mock debate were quite funny. The opposition leader kept mentioning loudly that the microphone makes him sound weird. The opposition's second speaker was smiling everywhere the whole time. The prime minister was saying random things like:
1. The government's stand is that the guy over there should change his hairstyle......
2. The government believes that the chicken crossed the road......

After that, Zi Ying and I went to toilet and I followed her to the other room to get her long lost bottle. Finally.......after an eternity, we went back to our seats in peace.

All our places were reshuffled except the Mels, Zi Ying, Natasha and I. The rest of the DJ Form 3s were in the middle of the auditorium. At first, I wanted to asked the lot of us to move further in front, but it seems that everyone was doing that at the same time. Even the spiky hair dude was moving forward, although I think they wanted to squash between the 2 DJ gangs at first. I saw them coming in our row at first (Aww, I think the DC fellow missed Zi Ying and wanted to be near her or something). Or maybe the moving forward thought occurred on everyone's minds at the same time.

Darn. And I thought aliens' minds were supposed to be more advanced than puny humans.

Speaking of humans, Melanie just found out a rather disturbing fact about the MBS guy. He actually asked her if *ahemiahem* was single. Be nice to nerds, man. Shudders. And Natasha asked to say "I have a boyfriend"? Humans, humans. Sad....and he did sit next to *cough* and Nat dared to point he was flirting. Earthlings these days....Forgive them.

Aaaaaaaaaand......the mock debate started. The motion was something that went along the lines of "The Government would pay for cosmetic surgery" or something like that. The Prime Minister wasn't that strong after all. My favourite speakers were....very different in manner, so I liked all 3 OPPOSITION speakers. The first speaker was very precise and liked to make fun of the proposition's ideas and call the ideas crazy (oh, did I mention he started off his speech by asking the members on the floor whether we could hear him without the mic because it made him sound weird). The 2nd opposition speaker was very sarcastic and finds pleasure in insults. At one point, he even insulted the Prime Minister (of the debate, not of the country). Overall, he was good as he didn't stammer at all. The 3rd Oppo speaker was so calm and amusingly funny.

To quote a few lines from them:
You would rather pay for people who need cosmetic surgery than for those who are dying. That's crazy. [1]
Cosmetic surgery is not allowed in Muslim. So, you are not benefiting the 60% of Muslims in the country, equivalent to neglecting them. [1]
Have you heard of exercise, sir? [2]
How many fat, poor people have you seen? (After he mentioned that these people got fat after eating a lot. Eating a lot requires money, so these people aren't poor at all). [2]
The speaker could do with liposuction, yet he seems confident enough. (Whoa!) [2]
It's your turn to warm your seats. [3]

There are more, but these are the more memorable ones I've stored.

Many people found the 3rd Proposition speaker quite irritating. Apart from her squeaky voice, she was quite short-tempered and kept asking the poor Oppositions to "continue warming their seats as they were not warm enough" whenever they wanted to POI. At some point when they couldn't take it anymore, all 3 Opposition speakers stood up at once, which was a pretty cool sight.

The reply speech was weird. Everyone was expecting the Proposition's 2nd speaker to be doing the reply, but it was their first speaker doing it. That was like some mistake or something. Anticlimax.

After the mock debate, Zi Ying helped me look for the mechanical pencil I dropped as I was cheering for the cool 2nd Oppo speaker. Then, both of us went for lunch.

The queue for food was crazy. There were, however, 2 lines. Very long lines. Well, one was actually shorter than the other. And people were weird because no one wanted to go to the shorter line. We saw DC there and 3 of us started talking animatedly about the mock debate. Somehow, Zi Ying and I were so animated, we followed DC who took the longer lane. Everyone who came after us followed suit and no one else took the short lane anymore.

When we were nearing the food (at last!), the shorter lane was already nearly empty. DC offered to go check out what difference there was in that line. He quickly came back and said that the other line was for vegetarians. After a while, the place was completely empty and there was a kind school who told us to line up there. I explained why no one was there and they said all the food was the same.

The truth was simple. I'm hungry. So I don't really care whether it's vegetarian or not, it's still edible. In my final attempt to get food, I rushed over and Natasha followed me. It was only then that DC swapped lines and followed us (geez, was he dreaming before this?? Vegetarian food.....?) [And Zi Ying, if he was following someone, it'll be Natasha. I just provide laughter]. And all those pesky followers behind the long line started to shift. Zi Ying refused to move because "once a guy comes up with a plan, he sticks to the plan".

Firstly, Zi Ying isn't a guy. And the whole plan is to get food. Fast.

The food was great. And somehow, I just started talking nonsense from lunch onwards. Abhilaash thought I was weird, since I was trying to debate the "fact" that aliens breath nitrogen gas.

When we were waiting ouside the auditorium after lunch (for the competition balloting, which we didn't join), I was nearly screaming : Aliens have invaded our brains. Therefore, our brains absorb nitrogen. Daniel and Shu Wen were taking pictures of me screaming so that they can send my picture to the world's leading scientists for further studies to be carried out. Not quite the smartest thing to do after all.

"Brains don't absorb nitrogen! Listen to us! Who's the real alien here?!?........Oh yeah, you are."
-Daniel Ong-

Very amusing.

DJ is against Sri Aman.

That pretty much wraps up my whole week.

I'm looking forward to more workshops in colleges. The food is great. (Minus the distractions).

April Fools

2009-04-03T21:12:00.005+08:00

As the title suggests, there have been many April fools (for all I know, they could be whole-year fools) I've met for this week. When I mean fools, I really really mean it.

For the first half of the week, I've prolonged my life for a few years by laughing so hard my voice couldn't come out. All thanks to Yean Yi and our tangled mess out of the violin performance. Yean Yi was making funny noises in her attempt to imitate Pn Norita, the teacher in charge of the whole MAC (Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang), in a squeaky voice. In English, MAC basically means the nerds go to the stage to take prizes while Tchaikovsky's Overture 1812 plays on in the background. Yes, it is very grand indeed, minus the Overture. Instead, expect monotonous lullabies from the school's principal along with her 45-minute speech. Her speeches are so empty, slow and irrelevant that even the smart people fall asleep. I've got living proof, by the way.

Right, so we're playing for a rather grand event here. Apparently, we find ourselves preparing to look like total dimwits onstage, and I plan to wear a clown's suit along to match that. Our timing was really out during our practices (except when I stamp my foot to the beats, out of frustration or mere patience, I don't really know myself). Clown's shoes would do a good job either way.

I was supposed to do my aural on the same day as violin practice. I inititally decided to kill 2 birds with one stone (or one violin, in this case). Unfortunately, due to several changes in circumstances, I ended up not being able to complete my aural.

That was pretty much Monday for you, thank you very much.

Tuesday was quite an annoying day. This day so happens to be the day when Sha Lynn turns a year older. Almost all the teachers teaching my class didn't turn up and the only serious lesson we had was English lesson. Pity Sha Lynn, who had to do a lot of donkey work albeit the day being her special day. The class really got mean when no one volunteered to "bersajak". It's reading a malay poem with a tuneful voice. So, Sha Lynn ended up really irritated and started screaming at the class.

During yet another free period, when Sha Lynn and Angeline were sleeping, the principal's right-hand lady, Pn Ruth, appeared at our door and called both of them out for a lecture on what they've done. Cassandra miraculously escaped eventhough she was sleeping right under Pn Ruth's nose, while Sha and Angeline who were strategically located in the middle of the class, had to get all the scolding.

During art period, whereby our teacher didn't turn up, the prefects intruded. They came in with shotguns along with picnic baskets and started yelling at us to freeze and make our way out of the classroom while they conduct a search for the class treasury. Having failed to detect the obvious 'X' mark on my table (not to mention other profitable devices from other students such as handphones), they left, clearly disappointed. They expected more from the wrong class. Sigh.

Wednesay. April the 1st.
What does this remind you of?
All those stupid things you do.

The evil side of me has remained dormant ever since I was 10 and I have this urgent need to start being mean to people. My last victim was my mother, who successfully fell into my trap when I told her there was a lizard in the house which needed to be exterminated. After 5 years of dormancy, I have decided.....to awaken! (I sound almost like Frankenstein).

Before my evil side had the chance to show itself, my house has already played 3 jokes on the family to usher in the new day. One clock was 1 hour slow. The plumbers who fixed our piping barely a few days ago killed our torchlight. And the 3rd......

I was busy nerdifying myself when the electricity failed.

Mind you, the torchlight was spoilt.

"SCREW YOU, TNB!!!! WHAT KIND OF APRIL FOOL'S JOKE IS THIS????"
TNB is Tenaga Nasional Berhad, the company in charge of the nation's power plants.

Luckily, I was listening to my iPod. So in the end, it was "Don't worry. I've got my iPod with me. iPod to the rescue!!!"

The house blacked out for another 2 more times after that (thanks to our computer and all the problematic USB ports, not TNB). It was just minutes to midnight. Minutes to April Fool's day.

Then, at 12.15 midnight, I started strategizing my "master plan". I informed my parents about my "joke" in case they wake up and run over to beat the "unidentified noise-maker". My mother was staying awake to see what happens and was kind enough to suggest where to stand to make the best out of my plans.

When I told her I was going to laugh like my Daffy-laugh, she said that the neighbours would think it was her instead of me that was making the sound, since all the neighbours see was her. They never see me because I have evolved into an invisible creature, only appearing in front of certain people. So, according to my mum, my neighbours would think: "What happened to this crazy lady? Now she's really going nuts. Eh, when did she start getting into her laughing fit......?"

The strategic place to scare people with my laughing had to be done, of all places, in my toilet. Thankfully, it was accessible to all the houses behind mine. I took a deep breath and......

"Hoo-hoo-haa-haa.........." (lasting about 10 minutes or so).

"What was that sound?" was all I heard from someone far away. Muffled.

Thinking no one else heard me, I went down again.

"Mummy, did you hear me?"
"Of course. You were very clear."
"Really?"
"Yes. You sounded like a bird, so no one would be afraid of you."

Darn.

In school, my form teacher thought it was an April Fool's joke when I turned up at the top of the class behind Melissa. She just couldn't believe it. I don't blame her. No one believes my marks anyway. Maybe I cheated during exam and managed to bribe all the teachers to shut their mouths up. No one knows for sure. (Hahahahaha).

I mean, I take the shortcuts out of things, I don't look as if I study, nor do I look like the type who really cares about memorizing stupid, arbitrary things. Such trivial matters can be laid to rest in my head, which leaves many teachers puzzling over how I managed to jump over all the other students who somehow just seem more harworking than I am. Furthermore, I've been spending a whole block of hours at the piano (screw you, piano....). [At least I made up for that crystal star]. All I do in class is provide the nonsense and laughing material. Yes, I talk a lot. My mother's explanation to every teacher who says I wasn't like that in Form One: "Oh, she wasn't used to her braces yet."

Splendid answer. It's true. I talked a lot ever since I was 6.

Anyway......

......My mean prank after all that was to glue the BPP book (to prevent truancy). My History teacher was supposed to sign the book, but being as quick as lightning, I managed to glue the pages together so that she wouldn't be able to sign it. [Credits for providing the glue goes to Zi Ying]. And Pn Noor had a hard time trying to tear open the pages. Wow. How mean of me. *Diabolical laughter* (although all I can produce is a daffy-laugh).

Unfortunately, Shafiq outdid my prank by tying all of Pn Noor's stuff together on her pencil box's ring when she wasn't looking. So, when she lifted up her pencil box, everything flew up with it. I did the same thing to Sha Lynn's pencil box and her bottle when she was busy playing Bingo. Apart from that, I also [proudly] tied Yi Cai's bag in a knot when he wasn't looking.

There was a Nostalgia meeting after school and the whole editorial board was supposed to be there. Apparently, the Datin rendered the rest of us useless as she was just talking about the Photography and Production department. What a terrible April Fool's joke that wasted my whole afternoon. The English department was redundant during the meeting. Asjndkfjbskjfb.

During Maths tuition, Shafiq was acting really blur. Melissa and I thought he was pranking Mrs Tan for the fun of it, and kept laughing like nuts (well, actually I was the nut). We found out the next day that he really meant what he was asking and that it wasn't a prank.

Thursday was quite dull. Shafiq brightened it a little by trying to get either Melissa or me to lend him our maths books. Oh, of course I agreed. As long as I get *cough* paid.

During the violin practice, Timothy made fun of the afternoon session folks when a prefect couldn't chase 2 students out of the hall. Tim suddenly stopped playing the piano, walked up to the pesky 2 people, and pointed at the door. Worst of all, he was wearing his backbone brace (scoliosis) and he was grinning the whole time, which made him look like he was about to kill them. Of course they ran out without hesitation.

On Friday, I made a new Form 1 friend, some guy named Darien Liew from 1 Cengal. The prefect who was trying to chase the 2 students on the previous day finally had the guts to talk to us while we were practicing (Oh, the nerve! Kidding....). According to what he claims, he started swearing since 4. That's......amazing. Wow. Congratulations on your feat!

Debate workshop on Saturday.

I Complain

2009-03-27T22:11:00.060+08:00

After weeks of endless attempts to cram useless information into our heads, memorising numerous arbitrary moral values and their arbitrary definitions and finally, coming face to face with those horrendous, blasphemous results, it's once again back to the time of the year to start guessing the smart weirdos in our class of 3 Batai 2009.

Ahem.

Correction: Start guessing the REST of the smart weirdos in class. The number one post is indisputably Melissa's territory.

Oh great. Look at me now. I'm starting to get really exam oriented. And it's because of this I'm starting to grumble.

Look at what the education system is doing to us! Doesn't anyone notice our freaky mental dysfunction? We rarely touch our books the whole year and only start hitting the books a few weeks before the exam. The smart people might start a few months early for all we know. For what? To get good grades? To get that 'A' on our report cards and to rid the minor blemishes of 'B's?

What's the point?

Let's look at it from another perspective.

Decades ago, during our parents' childhood years, have you any idea what exams were for? They were mainly to see if the students understood what they learnt. Those who really do remember what they've learnt are the true genii.

Fastforward to today and ask yourself this question. What are exams for? If you answered ".......to show how much the students know/ have learnt/ understood", think again. Exams now are mainly to boast your intelligence, to show people how good you are at memorising useless facts you don't even need to know to continue surviving. And, not to forget, to secure scholarships.

Even the top students. Don't believe?

If you talked to any of them before(or, you are one of them), notice that if something or some random fact isn't going to come out in the next exam, the smart kid won't even bother remembering it. Or, if the teacher tells the students which chapters to study for the next term, nobody bothers reading the other "irrelevant" chapters which are not coming out.

So, are they really that smart? (I'm not bursting your bubble, okay? Don't throw eggs at me!)

I'm just hoping for that one day when the principal would turn up on the first day of school and say that all the exams throughout the year are cancelled. There would be no more streaming anymore, no more positions, no more handing in our workbooks. Just observe everyone. No one would touch their books ever again.

And boom!

One day, your biology teacher walks in, noticeably happier than usual, and announces triumphantly that today would be your end-year assessment. Observe how everyone's expressions melt to a glassy stare into space, their jaws opening unconsciously, becoming a playground for flies. It wouldn't make much of a difference even if your mouth was closed anyway, you're going to die soon.

Trust me, more than half of the school would fail.

Although it sounds sadistic, I'm waiting for that to happen. Then, we all know who the true nerds are [and copying homework can be made easier].

I mean, exams have even leaked into the teachers heads and started polluting their thoughts with "must-fail-students" thoughts. What is wrong with everyone?

An archetype for this is Pn Nomi, 3 Batai's happy form teacher. Why happy? Is it because she jokes a lot or has that rare sense of humour? Or maybe she loves to talk to our class to make us feel better? Or is she some revolutionary teacher who challenges the forces that be?

Nah. What nonsense. She's the teacher who successfully "failed" all the 3 Batai students. Which teacher has ever accomplished such a feat? In the first class?? Well, that's our perception of it. "Fail" means not getting an 'A'. The highest mark was TWO marks from an 'A'. Not much difference now, is it? Only two humans got that honour [Melissa and *ahem* I]. Why am I complaining then? See, it shows I'm infected too. The 'A'-grade disease. The percentage comparison. Everyone was so disappointed as "the BM essay marks pulled down everyone's percentage by 3% and above".

But anyway, that's not my point. My point is..........back to exam-oriented thinking. As the above shows, even teachers are infected. And once the students get the results back, what else can you, as a student, do? One girl who suffered from a chronic exam-oriented infection said she was going to tell her tuition teacher about this outrage. She said this was ridiculous and she needed to complain to her tuition teacher.

Honestly, what does she expect her tuition teacher to do? Is he supposed to storm after Pn Nomi, demanding an explanation and sueing her for giving everyone in the first class inexplicably undesirable marks only the last class kids deserve? Pht*. Now that's what I call ridiculous.

*Pht is pronouced as "PFFT" and is a legal word, used to express annoyance. Found in scrabble =D

If you inspect the Malaysian policy closer, you would realise our "kiasu-ness" might even be comparable to Singapore's, only difference being we practice a more corrupted version of it. Seriously.

Public exams questions "leak" out weeks or even days before the actual exam. Excuse me! Aren't we all supposed to be prepared for this ourselves? It's basically such an insult to know that you've worked so hard all by yourself and the invisible "forces that be" are now leaking out questions for the lower classes. Is this an exam or what? People are announcing the questions that might come out just so that we can score higher marks for the exam????

For heaven's sake, stop it!!!! The standard for grade 'A' is already so low and you're still doing all these??? Hey, Americans!! *Waves frantically* How would you feel if I told you grade 'A' is from 70-100 marks in the public exam????? It's dumb, isn't it?! While some others might argue that Eastern countries have a tendency to be exam-oriented, I find this ridiculous. Might as well scrape off all the exams.

Think about it, my fellow compatriots. What's the whole point of memorising so many facts only to throw them away later? So what if you know that Francis Light found Penang? So what if you know how the Japanese conquered us? Who the heck cares if your brain can digest all the moral values and their arbitrary definitions when you can't even apply them? For heavens sake, some people don't even know who the first man on the moon was. Or Genghis Khan. Or Napoleon Bonaparte (some people thought he invented Neapolitan-flavoured ice-cream). Let's learn all these other useful things, rather than study things we'd forget after the exam. It's time we make our syllabus global.

Wow. Enough exam rantings. I bet I'm boring you to death.

**********************************************

Some other weird happenings this week includes:

Power transition from Abdullah Badawi to Najib. Sigh, I do not wish to say anything else. When you've got nothing nice to say, just shut up. (Even the French know it).
Najib got his "dream team", which the rakyat (citizens) portray as "nightmare team".

Mr K (extra-curricular teacher) was joking throughout his entire speech during assembly. Some parts include ".....so much disciplinary problem when you're back in school.......you get apprehended.......the good news is, Liverpool won.....". And when he was praising the sportsmen in school, he asked each one of them to stand up for their respective sport when mentioned. Very few dared to stand up for some unknown fear. "Those who stood up are brave. Very good. Those who dared not stand up.......are also very good! Modesty, a moral value, has been applied.......". It soon became "misplaced modesty" and teachers have been criticising our class for that the whole week.

I don't know why I bothered to offer myself to perform for the school's MAC. Now, I have to arrange a song in 2 days.

No more complaints. Enjoy your weekend.

Cheers,
Ryx.

Inspiration

2009-03-22T14:53:00.006+08:00

Greetings (from Mars), fellow readers.

The author of this blog has been Missing In Action for many days due to several distractions.

Distractions being "unfinished" homework. Sigh, the school is all out to ruin little kids' holidays (anyone under 18 is considered a kid, whether you like it or not =P). The teachers are conspiring against us students!! I mean, seriously, we have to wait for our exam results. How can we have peaceful holidays?!

You know what's the worst thing about holidays? They make you feel so small. I just realised I have less time during the holidays than during schooling days. I sleep off the hours.

Okay, so I have been feeling down during the holidays. Really, I don't want to contaminate my blog with all the moodiness or "emo-ness" in case it's contagious.

Right, the pictures below are for inspiration.

For more pictures, please click here. [link]