Inspirational Essays

There are many English Freaks in my school. Most of them are really logically challenged. So, it's no surprise that they come up with "sensational" essays. If you think all teenagers are a boring bunch of people accompanied with passive thinking, then here are some creative ideas to prove your stand wrong.

Ordinary instructions:

You have to go to the railway station to meet your cousin. Since there is no local bus service, you go by taxi instead. Write about your journey to the railway station and the surroundings. Your essay must not be less than 100 words.

The expected essay:

I had to go to the railway station to meet my cousin. I hailed a taxi and got in. As we drove down the road, I saw shops on my left. Soon, we reached a roundabout. Going clockwise, we took the second exit off the roundabout onto Jalan Ambang. On my left I saw a football field that was full of people. Further down the road, I saw a playground that was also full of people. We reached a set of traffic lights. We turned right. I looked out the window and noticed a big shopping complex. At the T-junction at the end of the road, we turned left. The petrol station on my left was full of people. And just ahead of the petrol station was my destination -- the railway station.

Note that the paragraph above contains 133 words -- more than the number of words specified. It also contains all the points, as well as copious amounts of boringness. -The English Freak-

And these were the ideas of famous EF Khoo Ghee Ken and his eccentric cohorts from 3 Balau:

1) Ultraman landed on the football field and started fighting some huge exotic alien wildlife.

2) I left home driving my lorry, which was filled with TNT. I rushed to the railway station, but accidently crashed into the petrol station, causing my face, as well as many others', to be published in the newpaper obituary.

3) I left home driving my lorry, which was filled with TNT, and crashed into the petrol station again. However, due to the fact that I was King Leoric, I survived the crash and explosion.

4) I decided to drive out of the map since I figured that it would be a faster way to the railway station.

5) I found out about a horrible traffic jam, and decided to hire a jet instead.

Bravo, 3 Balau-ans, bravo! You have earned my everlasting respect for your eccentricity. May you pass/fail your exams with FAILING colours.

Conclusion:
1. Teenagers have violently active minds.
2. Exaggeration is a trillion times worse than understatements. (*Nudgenudgewinkwink*)

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Cataclysm

It starts with accidents.

Accidents happen.

When a virus spreads quickly and is speculated to become the next global pandemic equivalent to the Spanish Flu or "La Grippe", that's an accident not contained.

When an idiot suddenly swerves in front of your car and you have no time to hit the brakes, that's an accident.

When you forgot you are the sole reporter for a dull and boring event, say the Ikrar PMR and SPM, that's a mental accident. (Considering yourself a responsible reporter, it is your duty to lie that all the students were holy angels who paid their full attention). However, if you get to see your school's legend (John Lee Si Ang), at least you got something out of it.

Other accidents happen when your alarm clock stops dead one hour before its supposed to blow its head off. Then, you can't wake up, go to school, and witness your friends suffering from the sadistic punishments you created for them in a game where they are supposed to memorize stupid moral definitions for our exam-oriented school. You can't see your friends making that sarcastic speech of your "beloved" form teacher, or reciting the "sajak", or dancing around the class with a broom.

When people from your choir forgot to wear the required uniforms for the Choral Eidsteddfod ("Choral Festival" in Welsh) group photos, you're forced to skip your chemistry lesson when your other friends get to see how acidified potassium manganate (VII) solution loses its purple tint to the reaction between lead sulphide and oxygen and heat. Then, your mentally challenged form teacher tells you, the treasurer, to return everyone's money back to them since the workbook she wanted to order for your class was out of stock. Yes, screw her.

Finally, on the last day of the week, things start to look up and go your way. You don't have to change in the rotten school toilets and you didn't miss your science lesson. You managed to see how calcium and sodium react with water (and even noticed a rare spark in the reaction between sodium and water when everyone else missed it), and you witnessed how magnesium reacted to oxygen and heat.

You managed to memorize 5 stupid moral definitions, word for word, a few minutes before Moral period started. You get called up and said everything with a distinction. You managed to pick your forgetful class monitor out and watched her succumb to your punishment to recite a malay poem when she miraculously fished out your punishment. You clarify what sort of recitation you are looking for and set the parameters on how to read it "correctly", just as how your mad teacher did. Apart from getting a satisfactory recitation from her, your row has achieved the impossible when all 5 people in your row was picked (fished out randomly from a box). You discovered a classmate's interesting habit of yelling at people, "Why can't I do that? Sue me-lah!", "Cannot-ah? Sue me-lah!" and one thousand other things about sueing him.

The newspaper was great too. The politicians in Perak have gained world recognition by acted like zoo animals. If Jessica knew about this, she would have suggested that they came from the bird parks. From the Democracy Tree incident on square root day (3/3/09) to policemen dragging the Speaker out (V. Sivakumar), from Hee Yit Foong crossing over to Barisan and being the first DAP politician to cause the downfall of a state government to the politician throwing money around. Pakatan politician Thomas Su threw a RM50 note at Hee Yit Foong since he said she was so desperate for money. Apparently, she was alleged to have crossed sides for a new car and more money, which she wasn't eligible to get in Pakatan, which was a more honest political party. The bonus came when a picture of Thomas Su standing on the table came out in the news. Next to him was someone who truly enjoyed the argument : a politician using his camera!! Haha. Wonderful. As Cassandra puts it, "These guys-ah, too much already...".

As you think about your odd experiences, you start to appreciate all that has happened this week. Things are slowly starting to look up.

Then, things move on to tragedy.

When your morally flawed classmate sitting behind you suddenly goes aggressive for no apparent reason and pushes the notorious pranker down from his chair, in turn causing you and your best friend to fall from your chairs, you've got yourself a tragedy. Of course, your fall only took place because the other boys in class had to swarm all over him and this resulted in lots of pushing--in your direction, unfortunately.

[And the fight started because Wan Jyn kept throwing Delon's book back at him].

Attention-seeker or tree-lover gone overboard?

Either way, you wonder when the black hole grew in his head, sucking away all his rationality and wreaking havoc with his emotions.

Fortunately for your school, there were no Batai-an casualties. Batai-ans are an expensive lot. =D

And then, there's cataclysm.

The enigmatic Atlantis, was it real?

All races share the story of a great flood that destroyed an entire civilization. The name Atlantis appears in various forms throughout the world. The Canary Islands have a legend involving Atalaya. The Basques of Northern Spain have Atlaintica. The Vikings told the tale of Atli. Northern Africa called it Attala. The Aztecs have Aztlán, and the North American Indians called theirs Azatlán.

According to the continental drift theory, all the continents fit together, like a jigsaw puzzle. If you look at a map, you will see that the continents really do fit together- with the exception of the USA in North America and Western Europe. Could Atlantis be the missing piece?

Well, there are some who speculate that the Bermuda Triangle may the resting spot for Atlantis, since there have been very mysterious occurences there. Many planes and ships have gone missing and no evidence of them were found. Gasp. There are also underwater pyramids. Read more if interested. It supposedly ended with a bang. Something like the end of the world--which only happened to them.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, there's the apocalypse, which is nearing. Modern-day scientists have identified the asteroid Apophis coming straight at Earth and calculated that it might hit us on (Friday) the 13th of April 2029. If that scared you, listen to this. The ancient Mayans predicted that the world would end on the 21st of December 2012. If we survive that period, then we've come to "a new era", as that day marks the genesis of a new beginning and a new world. Or it could also be the beginning of an end.

But really, does it need to be that far? Honestly, the apocalypse is arriving in a week's time as the tides of exams wait for no puny student.

Students, if we all survive this, we can do anything.

[Enough epic crap. Good luck to you!]

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Crisis At the Bookstore

You must be asking yourself now, "How old is this nut who is writing all these crap?", right? Well, let me give you a few pointers to allow you to roughly guess my age.

When I went to China, the people there thought I was probably older than 17 or something, since I was taller than most locals. In a shopping complex closer to home, a bunch of innocent humans swarmed around me to give me balloons. Just today, a few fellows thought I was a baby and allowed my mother to park at a privileged spot specially for those who came with "babies".

Enigmas.

No, I'm not like Benjamin Button. I think it's just people with very bad eyesight.

Oh, that reminds me of Adam Lambert. What sort of freak results were those? Bottom three? Hmm....speculate, speculate.

The world is going crazy!!! What happened to the scrabble tournament?!!!!


Bookstores are dangerous places to be in. According to my experience, I ALWAYS get lost in there. Plus, my parents and relatvies always ditch me there. Am I really that bookworm-ish?

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Mission Accomplished

It was roughly 12.45 in the afternoon. The oppressive silence was murderous. As we all held our hands in prayers, our opponent sat coolly behind us, watching. And there we were, expecting the worst, yet hoping for the best.

Barely hours ago, we were running around the hall. No, not training for the running events, but warming up. And we reached Yuk Chai at 10.30 to calm ourselves down. After some light-hearted chat in the canteen, we smuggled ourselves to a quiet corner not far from the canteen to warm up. After that, we made our panicky way up to the auditorium to test out the stage.

Nicholas banged his head on the speaker on the way down, which, as everyone speculates, caused a little "mental havoc" in his head temporarily. He was the only one "dancing on his chair" before we went onstage. He affected Foo Wai too, who was sitting next to him. At least we had 2 clowns around to keep us from gearing ourselves into full panic mode. Plus, Nicholas was 2 seats from me (next to Shoen-Wei [oh, no! I can't spell her name!]) while Foo Wai was 3 seats away (Both were on my left).

We sang around 11.35. The whole performance was so intense that I think I actually entered a trance-like state whereby I can't think or remember anything else other than the present moment.

After our performance (no more Nicholases were hurt throughout the entire competition), we went back to our seats and bit our nails while listening to the others. In the end, after many complicated invitations.......*drum rolls*, it was the moment of truth.

The 3rd to 6th places were announced. The biggest shock was when CHS was announced 2nd runner-up. That only left Bandar Utama 4 and us.

Everyone held each other by the hands and closed their eyes. The silence in the auditorium was deafening. The emcee, Mr Eugene, was mean enough to keep the suspension going on for a long time.

Who will win?

Well, we proudly bring back the news that today, on the Thursday of the 30th of April 2009, the forms 3-5 of Damansara Jaya 2009 managed to break free from a 7-year chain which restricted our choir team from championing the Petaling Utama district. At last. After SEVEN YEARS.

Yes, scream and shout!!! We won!!!!

You should have seen our reaction when they announced Bandar Utama 4 (BU4) as the runner-up. That could only mean that we won!! Everyone had delayed reactions, since we weren't expecting something like this.

Initially, we thought we would lose to Catholic High School (CHS) and Bandar Utama 4. But when they announced the 3rd place to be CHS, we thought we had a chance, mainly because BU4 wasn't that suicidal in their first song. Their "Phantom of the Opera", however, was quite hair-raising for the first few moments. They later sank to a less scary performance.

While I'm trying to get the videos from those who have recorded the whole thing (The first time I did not bring a camera to a competition. How pathetic), I might as well say random things.

Firstly, we were "unlucky" enough to fish for the first performance TWICE while balloting. Twice because one of our students balloted on behalf of Pn Cecilia. When Pn Cecilia sensed we got the first performance, she decided to ballot herself. Voila! It came out as number ONE again. While most saw it as an omen, some thought it would be a setback as we would be all "tensed up". We were just told in the bus by Pn Cecilia (and reinforced by Keefe) that the only word in our vocabulary throughout the whole event (except our lyrics) was to be "ONE". So, let us be [number] one from all aspects.

Miss Tracy told us to set a high standard, since we were the first school to kickstart the competition. We're not quite sure how we did in the end either, since none of us saw the video yet. We have yet to hear Miss Tracy's comments on Monday's practice anyway. Altogether, it proved that we DID manage to hold the benchmark high enough. Hooray!!

The most interesting random facts is that the BU1 people thought our uniform was "kinky". Actually, they didn't mean to tell that right in our faces. They said that to Zi Ying, who was a reserve and therefore wasn't wearing our "kinky" uniform. According to her, the conversation went something to the lines of these:

[Unidentified BU1 girl]
[Zi Ying]

Hello. Which school are you from?
DJ.
Oh, okay. Have you seen that school over there, that one with the kinky uniform?
What kinky uniform?
The group that's wearing all black. (Geez, she makes us sound so morbid. It's actually DARK BLUE, missy.....)
*Whispers urgently to Jhia Yim, then turns back to the girl* Oh.....oops.......I think that's us.
Oh. Alright. *Looks really disgusted and walks away*

When we heard that we won, everyone screamed like mad people. Zi Ying took this opportunity to scream at the BU1 students, "IN YOUR FACE!! (Suckers!!)".

Oh, everyone cried while jumping like rabbits. I think this is the first time I've ever truly hugged anyone, especially bear-hugging. I admit I was so overcame with emotion that I actually hugged so many people, even including the guys. What a rare phenomenon. Wait, actually this is the first time. Wow, I sound so cold. It's like I've never hugged anyone before. Oh well, it was a great feeling anyway, being able to hug someone knowing that you've achieved your dreams. Zi Ying was strong enough to carry me up and swing me around.

Heh, I see we've risen up to DJ's debating and cheerleading reputation. The doors are opening up, at last.

As Jessica puts it, "Keep up the good work!"

The ambiguous details point that maybe, just maybe, the state levels could clash with our mid-term examinations. Unlike the other genius, Mel, I'd be glad to skip mid-term to compete for the state. But then again, the "details" were given by a so-called inefficient lady. Bleh.

Famous quotes from choir members (stolen from Zi Ying's blog):

If Zi Ying could, I'm sure she would jump down the second tier the moment the results were announced. -Mel-
Nicholas banged his head and went nuts. -Liiyung-
You coconut! Where are my shoes?! Why did you take my shoes?! -Nicholas-*said to Zi Ying*
It has been a "long" journey. -Keefe-
We'd better make it into Nationals so that the boys can wear their black shirts. -Rachel-
We are the first team to go up, the team who got first, and the last team standing here waiting for our bus. -Pn. Cecilia-





Note to self: In case I look back on these picture decades later, I'm the one standing in the last row, fourth from left.

Seafield up next!

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Mysteries of the World

Woohoo!!! Our form teacher is pregnant!! That means we'll be able to avoid her for......hmm....90 days? Everybody jump and scream!!! However, I pity the foetus in her womb. Poor soul. She/He doesn't know who the uterus belongs to. [Actually, one can only wonder who on earth wants to own the baby with her]. That witch.

Okay, enough talk about the witch. I can't possibly do that on a friend's birthday, especially when she's hoping for the teacher to run away too. Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MELISSA!! Now we can all hate the Petaling district together =).

It's also a delight to know that I escaped from being caught by the vast number of prefects scrutinizing every student during the Monday assembly. Looks like the mistake of "not wearing the tie" has been degraded to "not a mistake at all". So now, everyone is encouraged not to wear ties to school on Mondays as no prefect will notice. *Laugh together with me*.

Anyway, dogs are addicted to licking their own paws. Once they start, they can't stop. And that's why Silkie is wearing a cone around her head now. Poor dog.

And this is for Cassandra:
You know, the Rahman Putra club president loves to sue his club members for "trying to defame him". Rumours have it that he spent more than 100,000 ringgit from sueing people. His lawyer is said to live a happy and full life. Good thing the club is going to change the president tomorrow (26/4, Sunday).

(Forgive the posts which are getting shorter and shorter)
[You copycat!!]

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