Winning A Drama

Take a leap of faith. That's all you need.

We started early, yes. Earlier than most of the other classes by at least a week. The theme for our first and last school drama competition was Mask/Essence, whichever we prefer to use. The proposed idea our director came up with initially was to divide the stage into 2 halves, using one section for "the present" while the other half would be for flashbacks. Somebody died, and somebody got arrested. The arrested suspect would be proved innocent later on in the drama. Slightly dry, if you leave it at that.

Well, our class rejected it.

So began our quest for a new storyline. We eventually settled with one, which was....amusing. Execute. Execute. That was the last thing we needed to do, until we finally thought we were perfect.

The stage was divided into 2 sections, one for flashback, one for the "present". 4 people were seated, 2 parents, their daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law enjoying their engagement dinner. Then, a mysterious police inspector turned up and accused each of them for being the reasons for pushing a girl named Eva to take her own life just 2 hours earlier. Scenes were frozen, thrown into flashback, and secrets were revealed. After making them feel guilty enough, the inspector left, while they pondered over their wrongdoings and regretted their past actions. Father, being skeptical, decides to call up the police headquarters to check if there really was an Inspector Kane. There was no such person. So daughter decides to check with the information centre if a girl had just committed suicide. No one committed suicide yet. Being glad that it was all a bluff, they continued to enjoying their champagne.

Minutes later, the information centre calls up. A girl name Eva just killed herself.

That won 5 Cengal the first place. Catch is, my class isn't 5 Cengal. We changed the script to one much lighter and less morbid, involving parents planning to divorce and their distressed son.

We didn't win, maybe because we had too many actors who were forced to play so many side characters. We didn't win, maybe because the storyline didn't link up as well as we'd thought; maybe the scenes were too fragmented; maybe the characters didn't act well enough, maybe we didn't portray a strong "cause and effect" concept. But then again, maybe we didn't win because we chose not to. We wanted to bend the rules to include more actors, actresses and crew even if it jeopardizes our script and storyline; we wanted to work with each other despite the hassle in numbers, just to bond together and have memories of each other in our sunset days. We didn't win, maybe because we firmly guarded our stand that each Batai-an has an equal portion of this once-in-a-lifetime competition and each of us should be involved, sacrificing group coordination. We ended up having a good time with each other, and no one was ever left out.

We were given a choice. It's a trade-off between winning and creating fond memories together. Our class chose the latter, and we walked away with something more valuable than 15 gold medals only given to cast and crew. We earned something the other classes would never have from this event.


We didn't win.

But it doesn't matter any more.

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Jackpot : Triple DJ Win!

The number on our control said 24. We were laughing about colour blindness; our tags were orange when we were supposed to be in the Red group. Sitting there, waiting nervously for the competition to commence, I started praying.

I remembered Mighty Minds F123 in 2009 as a failed attempt to prove our mettle in the nerdy world of general knowledge, science and maths. This year, entering Mighty Minds F45 as puny Form 4s who have not (and never attempted to) cover even half the syllabus, it was only natural that we only expected to break into the hands-on activity and die there (or maybe not even break at all). In a nutshell, it was all supposed to be a learning experience for us so that we can (theoretically) terrorize everyone else next year. We came in green; we had virtually no coverage of physics beyond chapter 4 F4, no experience of chemistry knowledge starting from chapter 7 F4, and had the holy mindset of "Who cares? Screw Biology!". Only a miracle could get us through Round 1 at this point. Now, aren't you extremely curious about how we fared throughout the competition?

(Pauses to eat McDonald's Sausage McMuffin)

Well, in case you were wondering...or maybe not... YES, we DID survive Round 1. In fact, we had the 2nd highest score on the scoreboard (heck, 2 other teams had the same score too). Technically, we came in 5th for the entire round, losing out on time no thanks to our remote control, which "hanged" halfway. We didn't realize it either, until we saw our team's number on the screen, which prompted us to start flailing our hands in the air. So how did we do it, given that we came in with empty heads? Hey, the questions were all based on general knowledge and IQ questions, y'know. Seeing how walking talking encyclopedias existed in my group, we did pretty much alright. So, yes, we survived the ordeal with 130 points. Highest was 140 points. Don't laugh, general knowledge would be your killer if you're a textbook person.

After that, we had a quick brainstorming session with the Form 5s (who ALSO broke through) and Pn Loo. Feeling satisfied, we walked into the arena to face the gargantuan task of creating an unknown object using maths and science principles. Everyone has heard of making a volcano, carrying out electrolysis, creating a fan, and other stereotypical stuff. Call us shallow, but we've just never heard of making a birdcage which depends on "an electromagnetic system to trap the bird and a buzzer system". It took me some time to actually come to terms with what we were making. One of the major setbacks during this stage was the mindset that kept screaming "You can't do this! How on earth can you come up with something as big as that?".

Like it or not, I had to face it. The fact that I was team leader and my teammates depended heavily on my barking instructions was not of any help - it just increased the pressure on me. There was this egging feeling behind my head which kept telling me that I was wrong in whatever I did, making matters worse. The first thing I did was set Melanie to start building the cage, with Shu Wen's temporary help - WITHOUT ANY ELABORATE INSTRUCTIONS. That was, by far, my stupidest mistake.

Meanwhile, when the mistake was still unnoticeable, I took it upon myself to think up of the science concepts and how to incorporate them into the cage. Electromagnetism was something everyone learnt back then in Form 3. Even then, it took some time to figure out how to "detect" the imaginary bird and sound the buzzer, while simultaneously trying to reason with myself if creating a binary circuit was better than a separate circuit. If you must know, time management was such a pain in the neck. Due to my tendency to think more than take action, I wasted a whopping bulk of 45 minutes perfecting the concepts, while Melanie built the model, which turned out to be horribly unstable.

I spent at least 10 minutes "sightseeing" and realised that we were losing out on stability. Being highly fickle-minded, but knowing that something needed to be done, I was extremely disappointed that I did not try to change the model from there. Instead, I spent the next 15 minutes helping Shu Wen test the concepts and perfect the circuit structure. With 20 minutes left to go, we were satisfied with our separate circuits, which were considered very reliable, foolproof and idiotproof. All that was left now was to incorporate the systems into the model. But there was one problem....

We had no model.


See the direness of the situation? No? Take a look around you and you'll see cages standing strong and steady in every direction.


...I once read about this team that came in champions somewhere in the beginning of the year (or was it last year?). Apparently, their model was a failure too, until their leader decided to turn fate around within the last 7 minutes. Here, I had 20 minutes with my group. That was when I decided it was time to make a turning point. It was an idiot's job. I spent another 10 minutes twisting and turning our existing model and viewing it from different angles. In case you didn't know, our model was not even half done, with missing walls and an invisible roof. It finally led to me turning the cage upside down as it was, surprisingly, more stable that way. Then, I dabbled with theoretical concepts...

Our model did not use the extremely easy criss-cross concept like what other teams had done. Thanks to the fact that our base (now the roof) was square, I got Mel to criss-cross 4 ice-cream sticks and just place one set of it on the supporting sides of the square. We were lazy (and most importantly, running out of time), so I told them not to bother sticking the roof on - it was just placed lightly. Another criss-cross ice-cream stick set was used as the extraordinarily unconvincing door. Last but not least, where the hell do we get our base from?!?!

One obvious fact was that it was extremely risky to bother making a base at this time of crisis (it was now less than 6 minutes to the end of the world). So, what I did was humourously place our model on the aluminium foil provided. And stuck it to the sides of our failed model. And poked the jutting wooden chopsticks through the foil to "strengthen" it. With less than 4 minutes left, I told Shu Wen and Melanie to beautify our very ugly model while I cleared the table (it was part of the rules - points were also allotted for this).

We were forced to abandon our dear model by leaving the arena. It was really heartbreaking to see other teams' cages standing strongly on the way out. Of course, on the plus side, we were really happy to see our Form 5 counterparts' model looking good. I was moping, so Shu Wen became my eyes and noticed that many teams did not use the electromagnetic concept. Pn Loo then stated her disappointment with our team, saying that we should have concentrated on the model first, concept second. Then, there was the issue on time management, which I listened to guiltily. Our Form 5 team was used as a great example of teamwork. Convinced that we had lost in this round, I resorted to "forgetting everything" and just enjoying the chicken burger McDonald's provided. Talk about amateur depression.

Shu Wen's mother, Pn Loo, however, suggested that we try to come up with a draft for the oral presentation so that we can get to know our model better (or see how horrible it really is). It was no wonder that we were laughing our heads off when the judges took a look at our model. They were messing around with the buzzer and had a good time opening and closing the door, which was pathetically attached loosely to a rubber band acting as the trip device to close the door. No doubt, they DID look amused, but we interpreted it as them being tickled by our model, which was too funny and comical to exist in a serious competition like this. I met Yew Leung and we caught up a bit on old times while joking that our model was meant to catch clumsy penguins before playing hangman. There were a lot of really amazing hangman-solvers, as seen amidst us.

Soon, it was time to announce the final 5 teams, according to ranking.

The first team to qualify was (if I'm not mistaken), Blue 15, or B15, from SMK Taman Melawati.

The second team to qualify was R24, a.k.a. Red 24. I looked around to see which team would be bathed in glory as they made their way into the arena once more.

None did.

Then, Shu Wen screamed directly in my ear before I realised that our lame, aluminium-foil-wrapped, removable roof and unattached door model beat 28 other teams to clench 2nd place in the hands-on round. Turns out that it was the concept that was more important than the average aesthetic model. Suddenly, I was washed with enthusiasm and was so glad that I concentrated on the concept rather than the model (though it was risky job). Glad that our electromagnet was working well =D

What followed next was a blur. All I know was that R23, our other DJ team also made it, along with Yew Leung's team from Taman Sea and the USJ 12 team. Each team had to pick a ping pong ball to determine the order of presentation.

A = USJ 12
B = DJ (Team 1)
C = DJ (Team 2) - Us!! =D
D = Taman Sea
E = Taman Melawati

We had to line up somewhere nearby the stage, next to a very distracting dress shop *cough*Mel*cough*. Oral presentation was a letdown. Once again, I talked really fast and stumbled many times to catch up with my running thoughts. Yes, I talk fast, but it's considered VERY slow compared to my thoughts. Dumb, huh. Mel ended up talking for only a few seconds. Time management fail. On the other side, Shu Wen shone out as a debater. Oh yes, Team B (our F5s) did really well - you don't call 3 of them debaters for nothing.

Either way, we didn't die yet. We still had the buzzer round to go. It was during this stage that us Team C people really stood out. I managed to get a streak of correct answers towards the end, which cushioned us from falling back. The final question was the bonus, worth 6 points. Of course, if you get it wrong, you only lose 1 point. This, to me, was really really worth it. Mel saw some freaky sudoku concept in the question as she worked the question out based on a diagram. Shu Wen and I remained baffled since we worked out everything by statement form. When Mel said she was done, I quickly risked tapping the buzzer. After all, if we get something correct, we might get between 1-6 points. If we get something wrong though, we have an extra 6 points to cushion a tiny 1 point. Awesomeness.

Taman Sea presented their diagram after us, which was an obvious sign that we had gotten something wrong. They only presented halfway when the judges told them that they were "satisfied" in the second diagram. After them was our counterparts' team, which also got stopped during the second diagram. Teams D and B didn't get any points, though. Instead, 2 points were awarded to our Team C for getting the first 2 diagrams correct. We lost out on the 3rd diagram due to ignorance of detail...but it was still worth it, was it not? Better than nothing, definitely.

Fancy stuff and redundance aside....

5th = USJ 12
4th = SMK Taman Sea
3rd = SMK Damansara Jaya (T1)
2nd = SMK Damansara Jaya (T2) =D
1st = SMK Taman Melawati

The feeling of winning something like this was dizzying for us all. I just couldn't believe that a Form 4 team would be able to dash the dreams of all the Form 5s taking part in the competition. We came as preparation for next year and ended up winning 2nd place by accident. The fact that we beat our own fellow Form 5s came as a shock. Oh well, miracles, miracles.

Melanie, Me, Shu Wen

Well, thank you, Shu Wen and Melanie!!!!!!!!! You guys rock!! Without you, none of this would have happened. We've come a long way since suffering from the Birdcage Syndrome of fickle-mindedness. Forgive me for my shortcomings, I'll promise to do better next year. =)

Meanwhile, on the other side of Subang, Harmonix Youth Choir rocked the stage at Subang Parade to win first place (finally)! Well, I can't be in 2 places at the same time, so yeah. Congratulations to HYC too!

Good job, DJ. 1st, 2nd AND 3rd places achieved at state level. What more could our admins want to brag about? Y'know the answer =D

Oh yes...on a lighter note, I think someone from SMK Taman Melawati took my mechanical pencil. If any of you are reading this, I'm just going to point out that that's my favourite pencil and I want it back =P

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To Close A Decade

This might be waaaaay longer than last year's report, as I'll be combining the school's and year's report. If you want a comparison to last year's report, I might say that this year's one sounds more to the point and isn't injected with feelings. One thing's for sure, this year cannot beat last year, whether I write this report with feelings or not.

If 2008 was the year of revelation, 2009 is the year of progress. I'm saying this because I've probably accomplished more things than I did in the past 14 years of my life. The word "disappointment", as I've so often mentioned in the previous year was replaced with the word "obstacles", which later transformed into magical "stepping stones". If I had heard about legendary beings achieving the impossible in 2008, 2009 is the year I meet them up front. If they could open my eyes to my world last year, they also brought me into theirs this year.

It wasn't just the achievements I've made this year, it was the new faces I've met and the colourful experiences they shared with me. For this, I would like to thank the unseen powers above for placing me in 3 Batai, along with many of my long-separated best friends. And what was my first impression of my new class? One word: indescribable.

I quickly realised that while 2 Batai 08 commanded the highest level of competitiveness, 3 Batai was the quirky class, the one whose students steal the spotlight when it comes to general knowledge. Looking at it from afar, we have all sorts of people in the Batai lineage, and the 2009 batch is no exception. (Though there has been speculation that Angsana contains the lala genii, Balau the kiasu ones, Belian the quiet students and Cengal with bimbos.) Even our form teacher completes the picture with her signature quirkiness. She's definitely a teacher I would never forget.

Pn Nomi, sigh. She's just so annoyingly entertaining that I'm not sure if I actually miss her now. She rubs the whiteboard with her bare hands, then wipes her face; she constantly moves her mouth up and down like she's chewing something; she stares at us until we can see the whites of her eyes; she stands on one foot when teaching; and she sounds freaky when saying "Aaaaah?" questioningly. Some people claim she looks like a fish (although that itself is an insult to fish).

But most memorable are the punishments she gives to students. Poor Shafiq had to smile with his 2 thumbs up for 1 hour; Shafiq and Wan Jyn had to click their tongues for 30 times outside the class before she let them in again; she made random students recite the malay "sajak" with intonation (which every student failed to do convincingly). The worst experience came when she let our class out very late for recess when the boys didn't answer her who the prettiest girl in class was.

Yes, that's her. If she isn't weird, I don't know what is....

On the third day of school, I became class treasurer after 2 people resigned from the post. It's actually quite a fun job controlling the class's cash flow (minus the Pn Nomi factor). You see, once I've completed/almost completed collecting the money, she comes up to me and tells me that the money is unnecessary because the books are not ready, not needed, yadayadayada.....Only Madam Tan was able to think rationally at harsh times like these (Treasurer's advice, anyone?). More on the first week of school here.

Aaaaah, Madam Tan...she used to grumble at our class and compare the 3 Batai souls to 3 Belian. She must've previously preferred 3 Belian to us, since they speak an extra language and are very quiet people. She encourages activities outside the schooling world and emphasises general knowledge (scroll down the post). The Maths and Science quiz tested us exactly on that. When the results were announced, 5 out 6 Maths and Science quiz winners came from our own class.

From then on, 3 Belian constantly complains about Madam Tan's wrath.

Friends : They are those people who sit with you in class and talk non-stop until the teacher accuses you of being "a bad student" and blacklists you.....

That was how I described friends last year, also people who mope around with me when I'm down. This year's definition is, however, slightly tweaked. Friends are those who give amusing reasonings to prevent me from moping (like "if you lose something now, you'll gain more later"). Prevention is, after all, better than cure. They are also probably more successful in the art of talking, often managing to escape the teacher's list of "talkative students". They all look like angelic teachers' pets on the outside, yet talk behind their backs. Eg: Jessica still hasn't left a mark on Pn Nomi eventhough she constantly mimicks the dreaded woman wiping her face when moving her mouth.

I know that this year, I cannot really mention names of those who have shared their time with me, simply because there are too many of you, and missing out one person's name wouldn't be very nice. But before I start about my class, I'd like to add something the Balau-ans came up with for one of their essays. For all you know, it could inspire you to no end. And then there is the formation of the IBM gang, which greatly extended my social circle.

I'm now going to touch on the students in my class. Bless all these jokers and sporting people who rocked the class.

When a new game was introduced by our Moral teacher to encourage memorising the stupid values and their definitions, every student had to write a punishment on a piece of paper and place it into the "Punishment box". Who would've thought that soon, Jon Zhen will be dancing with the broom, Natasha would give a sarcastically touching speech about "Why We Love Pn Nomi", Sha Lynn would have to recite the sajak based on Pn Nomi's intonations, various people would have to donate to the class fund and poor souls would be star-jumping along the corridor outside the class? (The sajak, speech and star-jumping courtesy of yours truly). *Grins*

Chingx, remember the first Science lesson in the lab, when both of us thought recess was 1 hour and entered the lab 15 minutes late? There was also a time when a gigantic bee disrupted our History class, prompting Pn Noor to step on it (and making Cassandra scream about animal cruelty). Do you guys still remember that time when Delon and Wan Jyn got into a brawl?(in one of those crappy weeks) ....Okay, maybe that's not worth remembering. Then there was that time when Cassandra dropped my Maths quiz trophy and made the metal corner drop off. Everyone was shocked when I shrugged it off, put the metal corner back on and thanked her for allowing my trophy to make special clicking sounds (it makes a sounds when you press it now).

And there was also that recess when Chingx, Jessica and I met Gheek fooling around in our classroom, killing Delon's bottle and wetting his table. Although Wilson wasn't in the classroom that time, he came back claiming "Oh, I did that last time!!!", thus clearing the 4 actual culprits (5, plus Zhong-Yuen, who joined in later). Looks like Wilson forgot that water evaporated after some time......and I will never ever forget the abscissa experience, the deadly time zone when I feared Madam Tan the most. (I thought she was going to fire at me in front of the whole class for that nonsense).

It's too bad that Pook Yi Cai went to England a few weeks after PMR. But come to think of it, "Once a Batai-an, always a Batai-an". Through all our ups and downs, we can finally boast to the world that we faced most of our class problems as one, with integrity (although we need to stand strong together when facing politics).

To view 3 Batai '09 pics :
1. Formal 1
2. Formal 2 (unprepared)
3. Candid candid
4. Posing candid

Speaking of these kind of amazing achievements, one of my most amusing personal experience came from the Roland '09 piano competition, when I was actually in the same building as Sarah Brightman *grins*. Then, choir tops the list for school this year. We went further than we'd expected to, beating schools like Catholic High School and Seafield (although Seafield admittedly caught up in the later half of the year). But times are going to be pressing in 2010, especially since I got insider information that BU4 was actually supposed to win this year's district level. DJ, beware. We've already yielded to BU4 in cheerleading, which is supposedly DJ's best turf, apart from debating (people actually respect us, man!!).

Then, there's scrabble too. But no point talking about that, eventhough I exceded my expectations a whole lot. At least now I know I shouldn't just "let it slide" no matter what the circumstances are. "Keep fighting" would have been a more appropriate stand. *Smacks head* Oh, then there were the straight As for the public exam, but that's not worth bragging about, since the school standard is way higher. Surprisingly, I got 4th for DJ's Got Talent (soloists don't recieve much of the audience's enthusiasm) and surprisingly got 2nd for Einstein Factor.

Nostalgia was supposedly "Revolution"arized, since there would be more pictures than words. Of course, to make the "revolution" have some impact (or maybe not), this year's edition is also the first to be released a year late. Bravo!!

But what I remember most between the achievements and setbacks was the mind-blowing letter I wrote to send to the newspaper about making English compulsory, which they obviously did not publish, or it would spark national outcry =D. Then, I wrote about nonsensical dudes (including Anwar), who asked for Maths and Science to be reverted to BM.

There weren't many setbacks this year, except maybe for the semi-finals interclass debate, whereby our preparation was sucky, unlike the previous one. In MnM, we like to think that a glitch killed our points (which was actually true), but the 3rd party obviously expects a more humble approach. In Jan, I decided to become a prefect once more--only to pull out the next day because my parents didn't encourage it on several stands. And of course there's the Interact Club complication too, where I successfully attended one meeting. Now I've got to start all over again next year.

I had to juggle most of my time with choir, piano and stupid exams since March. MAC popped up last minute and I had to arrange a darned music score in 3 days. Choir only managed 2nd place in the state level, which was a big disappointment, since everyone expected DJ to win. And then, there was no jackpot position this year, too, which eeriely resumed last year's positions on the basis that my art marks were extremely sucky. KH too. But surprisingly, I got highest for Moral, the subject which I so openly condemn. Fortunately, the marks didn't change my views on the subject. I still hate it.

Moving away from school, Adam Lambert, the greatest contestant in American Idol history (in my opinion), lost to the dark horse Kris Allen in American Idol 9. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, passed away to a better world on Cassandra's sister's birthday (their house also got broken into on that day!). There was a solar eclipse lasting for approximately 8 minutes (the longest eclipse in a loooong time) on July 22nd.

Then, there was the most controversial death in Malaysian history, whereby Teoh Beng Hock, the political aide to Ean Yong Hian Wah, was allegedly tortured to death in the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission) building. They tried to get him to lie about a crisis involving the Selangor state funds. Dr Porntip testified on his death on the 21st of October, and proved our darkest fears. And there was also the Xi'an trip, where I met some really funny people (Mr Heng). He "testified" on my father's camcorder's indecent circumstances and made complaints about our tour agency, Yangtze.

I think I've rattled on too much, so I'll wrap things up now. All in all,
I'd like to thank all those who've supported me this year, because you guys did a good job. Considering all the circumstances I've faced in this year alone, it's amusing to know that I rarely lost my cool. It was a great year from all aspects, the best thing being meeting the new faces that would last me a lifetime.

"There You'll Be"
When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life

When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all
The strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always.


Keep up the good work, and see you in school next week. Hopefully, I'll see you guys in the same class too!! (I'm amused you read this far).

Cheers,
[Signature]
[Insert name]
Treasurer (currently cum secretary) of 3 Batai 2009.
(Heh, I've always wanted to this).

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Cataclysm

It starts with accidents.

Accidents happen.

When a virus spreads quickly and is speculated to become the next global pandemic equivalent to the Spanish Flu or "La Grippe", that's an accident not contained.

When an idiot suddenly swerves in front of your car and you have no time to hit the brakes, that's an accident.

When you forgot you are the sole reporter for a dull and boring event, say the Ikrar PMR and SPM, that's a mental accident. (Considering yourself a responsible reporter, it is your duty to lie that all the students were holy angels who paid their full attention). However, if you get to see your school's legend (John Lee Si Ang), at least you got something out of it.

Other accidents happen when your alarm clock stops dead one hour before its supposed to blow its head off. Then, you can't wake up, go to school, and witness your friends suffering from the sadistic punishments you created for them in a game where they are supposed to memorize stupid moral definitions for our exam-oriented school. You can't see your friends making that sarcastic speech of your "beloved" form teacher, or reciting the "sajak", or dancing around the class with a broom.

When people from your choir forgot to wear the required uniforms for the Choral Eidsteddfod ("Choral Festival" in Welsh) group photos, you're forced to skip your chemistry lesson when your other friends get to see how acidified potassium manganate (VII) solution loses its purple tint to the reaction between lead sulphide and oxygen and heat. Then, your mentally challenged form teacher tells you, the treasurer, to return everyone's money back to them since the workbook she wanted to order for your class was out of stock. Yes, screw her.

Finally, on the last day of the week, things start to look up and go your way. You don't have to change in the rotten school toilets and you didn't miss your science lesson. You managed to see how calcium and sodium react with water (and even noticed a rare spark in the reaction between sodium and water when everyone else missed it), and you witnessed how magnesium reacted to oxygen and heat.

You managed to memorize 5 stupid moral definitions, word for word, a few minutes before Moral period started. You get called up and said everything with a distinction. You managed to pick your forgetful class monitor out and watched her succumb to your punishment to recite a malay poem when she miraculously fished out your punishment. You clarify what sort of recitation you are looking for and set the parameters on how to read it "correctly", just as how your mad teacher did. Apart from getting a satisfactory recitation from her, your row has achieved the impossible when all 5 people in your row was picked (fished out randomly from a box). You discovered a classmate's interesting habit of yelling at people, "Why can't I do that? Sue me-lah!", "Cannot-ah? Sue me-lah!" and one thousand other things about sueing him.

The newspaper was great too. The politicians in Perak have gained world recognition by acted like zoo animals. If Jessica knew about this, she would have suggested that they came from the bird parks. From the Democracy Tree incident on square root day (3/3/09) to policemen dragging the Speaker out (V. Sivakumar), from Hee Yit Foong crossing over to Barisan and being the first DAP politician to cause the downfall of a state government to the politician throwing money around. Pakatan politician Thomas Su threw a RM50 note at Hee Yit Foong since he said she was so desperate for money. Apparently, she was alleged to have crossed sides for a new car and more money, which she wasn't eligible to get in Pakatan, which was a more honest political party. The bonus came when a picture of Thomas Su standing on the table came out in the news. Next to him was someone who truly enjoyed the argument : a politician using his camera!! Haha. Wonderful. As Cassandra puts it, "These guys-ah, too much already...".

As you think about your odd experiences, you start to appreciate all that has happened this week. Things are slowly starting to look up.

Then, things move on to tragedy.

When your morally flawed classmate sitting behind you suddenly goes aggressive for no apparent reason and pushes the notorious pranker down from his chair, in turn causing you and your best friend to fall from your chairs, you've got yourself a tragedy. Of course, your fall only took place because the other boys in class had to swarm all over him and this resulted in lots of pushing--in your direction, unfortunately.

[And the fight started because Wan Jyn kept throwing Delon's book back at him].

Attention-seeker or tree-lover gone overboard?

Either way, you wonder when the black hole grew in his head, sucking away all his rationality and wreaking havoc with his emotions.

Fortunately for your school, there were no Batai-an casualties. Batai-ans are an expensive lot. =D

And then, there's cataclysm.

The enigmatic Atlantis, was it real?

All races share the story of a great flood that destroyed an entire civilization. The name Atlantis appears in various forms throughout the world. The Canary Islands have a legend involving Atalaya. The Basques of Northern Spain have Atlaintica. The Vikings told the tale of Atli. Northern Africa called it Attala. The Aztecs have Aztlán, and the North American Indians called theirs Azatlán.

According to the continental drift theory, all the continents fit together, like a jigsaw puzzle. If you look at a map, you will see that the continents really do fit together- with the exception of the USA in North America and Western Europe. Could Atlantis be the missing piece?

Well, there are some who speculate that the Bermuda Triangle may the resting spot for Atlantis, since there have been very mysterious occurences there. Many planes and ships have gone missing and no evidence of them were found. Gasp. There are also underwater pyramids. Read more if interested. It supposedly ended with a bang. Something like the end of the world--which only happened to them.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, there's the apocalypse, which is nearing. Modern-day scientists have identified the asteroid Apophis coming straight at Earth and calculated that it might hit us on (Friday) the 13th of April 2029. If that scared you, listen to this. The ancient Mayans predicted that the world would end on the 21st of December 2012. If we survive that period, then we've come to "a new era", as that day marks the genesis of a new beginning and a new world. Or it could also be the beginning of an end.

But really, does it need to be that far? Honestly, the apocalypse is arriving in a week's time as the tides of exams wait for no puny student.

Students, if we all survive this, we can do anything.

[Enough epic crap. Good luck to you!]

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The Entertainer

If I were to blog about this week, it would be about how I managed to juggle my time as The Entertainer for MAC, the "highlight" of the year, as well as managing to conquer Mount Homework (after many failed attempts to do so). That would make my post seem lifeless because, as you can guess, what other things does it involve other than skipping lessons?

The only interesting incident (which I missed out on) was seeing the "masterpiece" of the 4 Belian madmen, who constantly invade our classroom, since they are one of the "floating classes". Poor Sha Lynn and gang.

Apparently, their boys played a belated April Fool's prank on our class monitor's (and gang's) books by interlocking a pair of textbooks together (and applying glue on "strategic pages" to make sure both books never come off). I wonder why I never thought of that as a prank to play on others.

Anyway, today was the special day for all the nerds of the school, who took the limelight in the hall. The day I perform for those nerds like some maniac. The same goes for Yean Yi and Rachel, but I think I was the worst nut of all.

The violin performance wasn't well coordinated and I don't think everyone heard us. Geez, both of us violinists were supposed to get our own mic. But because Pn Cecilia thought we overpowered the singers, we were reduced to one mic for both, and ended up being so soft that no one could hear us.

We changed like crazy after our violin performance. Thanks to Mel's long-sleeved shirt, I could cheat my time and I ended up changing the fastest (eventhough I took my own sweet time to walk to the toilet), with an extra 5 minutes to spare before the choir's next performance. (Zi Ying pointed out that I could run with heels on. Never really noticed that myself since my heels are "quite short"). No sarcasm intended.

The choir went well, but Timothy said our diction for the English song was terrible. (Choir members, this is feedback from the audience......).

For those who weren't there to perform or receive any prizes.....hmmm, that's odd. Why would they want to turn up in school at all?

Let's review the statistics. All the classes only have 2-15-studens present. What about 3 Batai? 26 pupils. Now, this really forces us to reconsider placing this (weird) class as "the smartest class". Especially when oddballs like Timothy, Shafiq and Cassandra are about. (Oh, and me too....)

Eventhough we didn't do much in school because the teachers are eating..........I felt really amused and even glad that I turned up. Why? All thanks to the weird nuts.

It all started during recess. The performers and the oustanding students got to eat free food. And because I don't eat chicken (yes, I'm a pescetarian), I had to cajole Timothy to eat my chicken (and the rest of my rice) for me. Then all of a sudden, he became crazy and accused me of "trying to take over the world by forcing everyone to become fat". According to him, once everyone gets fat, they can't chase me otherwise they'll die of a heart attack. And he alleged me of trying to "make him fat". Goodness, Timothy exercises for more than 2 hours a day and he says he'll get fat??

Then, he went on talking about lots of illusionary crap and eventually ended up with stories of his old school. He kept saying his old school was "so stupid". There was this malay guy who actually came up to him and asked: "Timothy, kamu Portugis, kan?" (Timothy, you're a Portugese, aren't you?). Holy crap! His surname is SIM! TIMOTHY SIM. Not some long, english-like name. It's extremely obvious that Tim's a CHINESE.

And after that, the same guy asked: "Timothy, "Sim" tu maksud apa?" (Timothy, what does "Sim" mean?). *Bangs head*.

And for another time, the same guy got a 20-something mark for his maths exam. Do you know what he asked his teacher?

"Am I the highest?"
Teacher: From the bottom, or from the top?

Man, he really got Shu Wen and I howling with laughter. The people around us must have thought we were out of our minds. Well, that was probably what Calvin and Kelvin thought. XP. They were both sitting opposite us (at different times) and were tracking our conversation from Scrabble to those nonsensical topics. (Kelvin plays scrabble too! Yay!). I must say poor Timothy has finally lost it.

It was Cassandra and Shafiq's turn when we went back to class (in 3 Belian). We combined with Belian and Semarak. Shafiq was initially showing us stupid/amusing card tricks which had something to do with heartbeats. I'm really terrible at card tricks and so, I found his trick highly interesting. Unfortunately, he wouldn't say a thing about his secret trick as it was "using his own heartbeat".

Cassandra finally made a breakthrough by changing the topic into "dares". She dared Shafiq to "confess his love" for the teacher in front of the class. He brushed it off as an easy stunt. Obviously easier than what he was about to dare Cas.

In the end, Cas had to do star-jumps from Pn Lam's class all the way up to the end of the coridor, which means embarassing herself in front of the other teachers.

She didn't finish the feat anyway, but she did embarass herself a lot in front of Pn Lam's class.

The public phone in the school has also joined in the mad fun. All it said the whole time was : "Error: Failed to read card" or something along that line. As Cas and I were wandering elsewhere to look for a functional phone, Cas freaked a Form 4 guy out.

"Hi, human".

I think he was a little too freaked out as he let us use the phone first. And we found out that this phone booth was completely dead. Cas continued to freak the poor guy out and even told him he looked like a certain scrabble freak we know of.

Poor human.

I ended up using Iman's handphone. Oops. Don't say anything, okay? (Phones not allowed.....)

Oustanding moments written down. Now, I can clean my natural hard disk.

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Debate Workshop

Debate Workshop
Then, there was today. Quite an "amusing" day on my behalf. April Fools are abundant wherever you go and today seems to prove just that.

I arrived in school to find myself being surrounded by all the other English freaks of the school. I stuck by Melissa's side as she was a mosquito magnet, which made me safe from mosquito attacks. I was scaring almost everyone when I said I brought a scrabble word list along. Suddenly, everyone seemed to back away, as if the nerdy virus was contagious or something. We went to HELP college without Ghee Ken, the second scrabble freak of the school (he went for Ceng Beng).

Once there, we helped ourselves with glorious food. The sandwiches were great (No, they're not heavenly. Just ordinary). After our quick breakfast, we made our way to level 4. The debaters would be in the auditorium while the "trainees" attending the workshop would be in another sad room.

Us Form 3s, being "trainees", had to be separated from our legendary counterparts. We shedded our respectable DJ debater roles and went into full-kiddy mode (or maybe that just applied to me). Melanie (she wasn't wearing her prefect uniform) was really fooling around, hunting for "cute" guys. She obviously had nothing better to do. I borrowed Daniel's blazer (the prefects except Krystle and Melanie brought their blazers along so as to look "professional"). Oops, those 2 prefects are only Daniel and Shu Wen.

Anyway, Melanie found out that some guy's name was Christopher after amusing herself by having eye contacts with people around the room. All I did the whole time was to bore Emily, Daniel and Shu Wen about scrabble, scrabble and scrabble. Apparently, I noticed I was the noisiest person overall, losing only to Melanie. I think everyone thought I was mad, talking so animatedly about a boring topic called Scrabble. Luckily the room wasn't half full yet. Yet.

All of a sudden, the whole room turned into a carnival, with people walking and running everywhere. Then, us DJians were saying something about a black-shirted guy who was Daniel's cousin being present. After a few seconds of topsy-turviness, we made new friends when Melanie introduced yet another guy (sigh) to us named Kar Jin.

Since no one was sitting on my left, some guy had to squeeze in (geez, of all spots). Then, he introduced himself as Kai Hung and said he was from Methodist Boys School (MBS) a.k.a. Monkey Boys School. Amusing. After figuring he should be intelligent enough, I started to strike an intellectual conversation regarding scrabble in his school, but failed to get any results except lots of groaning and moaning from my schoolmates.

Then, we met another girl named Juliana from some school. (Melanie makes friends fast).

After a while, a few people called all the Form 4 students over to the auditorium. Thinking it would be better there, Natasha, Zi Ying and I ran over to check out what's up. Actually, Form 3's weren't allowed there, but being DJians (proud smirk), Pn Tan gave us the unauthorized permission to masquerade as Form 4 students for the day and sit there in the auditorium. So, the 3 of us ran around like kids here and there to call our fellow friends. The MBS people weren't convinced and said that the smaller room was better (we had to watch the workshope from the other room through a small screen). I won't pick that option.

And so, we went to the auditorium and I ended up sitting behind a guy with extremely spiky hair. After a while, the MBS came to join us in the auditorium and sat behind us. I managed to squash most of the major points in one A4 page while Natasha had to go and waste paper.

I noticed I couldn't see the screen that clearly from the beginning. The spiky hair in front of me didn't make matters any better. If the guy sat up straight, his hair looked as if it were eating up the speaker who was busy pointing out important winning factors. When he tilted his head to the right, his hair would completely pulverize the speaker. His hair also ate up part of the screen, which caused more problems. At one point, I just wanted to act uncivilized, lick my 2 palms, and just push all his hair down flat on his head. Sadly, I didn't have the guts to do that. I was sitting next to a teacher.

During one point Mr Latif, the workshop speaker, said that adding statistical analysis in your argument doesn't necessarily determine the outcome of the debate. At that point, I got so frustrated with out loss I actually said out loud, "Screw that debate round......". The guy in front of me and his friend turned behind to see a cartoon agonizing over some funny problem. Our adjudicator was in the toilet and didn't hear that!!! AAAAAAhhhhhhh. Pn Tan!!! Why? Why? Why?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being kiasu.

After that moment, the guy in front kept looking behind at me, as if I was some serial killer or something, waiting to pounce and lash at him (okay, maybe that was what I planned to do anyway).

At the end of the 1st session, we had a break. Out of nowhere, the guy in front of me asked me what school we (bunch of freaks) were from. Natasha and I were like, "DJ, Damansara Jaya!" And I think the guy is some sort of psychic because he asked me after that, "Was my hair blocking you?"

Gosh, that was amusing. I didn't even say that to anyone. And then, he called Zi Ying and Natasha and I were surprised. Zi Ying and him were from the same class last time (meaning he was same age as us, get it?) and apparently, HE was Daniel's cousin. I think he changed his shirt or something (or maybe my ears need changing). Big whoops. Fortunately I didn't have the guts to be mean to him, otherwise I would end up as DJ's prefectorial target of harassment. Oh, he was quite good-looking too, anyway. (I'm sorry, Daniel. Don't tell your cousin what I said about the fingers one......oops....).

We were further interrogated by Daniel's cousin (I'm even more sorry here, since I did not find out what his name was) about what form we were in. [I'll just call this guy DC until he gets a name from either Zi Ying or Daniel himself].

To be very sure of our circumstances, Zi Ying and I went down to question Latif personally. While waiting, we heard some pretty amusing questions being asked as well. When it finally came to our turn, he asked which school we came from. When we answered "DJ for Damansara Jaya," you should have seen everyone's reactions. All those students from other schools gasped as though they just saw ghosts. Oh, this is what you get for being in the top debating school. It was awesome when the Form 4 students stared at us with awe and respect. Even the college kids were staring at us like heroes. That was, until we mentioned we were "trainees".

The atmosphere wasn't that serious, actually. The debaters preparing for the mock debate were quite funny. The opposition leader kept mentioning loudly that the microphone makes him sound weird. The opposition's second speaker was smiling everywhere the whole time. The prime minister was saying random things like:
1. The government's stand is that the guy over there should change his hairstyle......
2. The government believes that the chicken crossed the road......

After that, Zi Ying and I went to toilet and I followed her to the other room to get her long lost bottle. Finally.......after an eternity, we went back to our seats in peace.

All our places were reshuffled except the Mels, Zi Ying, Natasha and I. The rest of the DJ Form 3s were in the middle of the auditorium. At first, I wanted to asked the lot of us to move further in front, but it seems that everyone was doing that at the same time. Even the spiky hair dude was moving forward, although I think they wanted to squash between the 2 DJ gangs at first. I saw them coming in our row at first (Aww, I think the DC fellow missed Zi Ying and wanted to be near her or something). Or maybe the moving forward thought occurred on everyone's minds at the same time.

Darn. And I thought aliens' minds were supposed to be more advanced than puny humans.

Speaking of humans, Melanie just found out a rather disturbing fact about the MBS guy. He actually asked her if *ahemiahem* was single. Be nice to nerds, man. Shudders. And Natasha asked to say "I have a boyfriend"? Humans, humans. Sad....and he did sit next to *cough* and Nat dared to point he was flirting. Earthlings these days....Forgive them.

Aaaaaaaaaand......the mock debate started. The motion was something that went along the lines of "The Government would pay for cosmetic surgery" or something like that. The Prime Minister wasn't that strong after all. My favourite speakers were....very different in manner, so I liked all 3 OPPOSITION speakers. The first speaker was very precise and liked to make fun of the proposition's ideas and call the ideas crazy (oh, did I mention he started off his speech by asking the members on the floor whether we could hear him without the mic because it made him sound weird). The 2nd opposition speaker was very sarcastic and finds pleasure in insults. At one point, he even insulted the Prime Minister (of the debate, not of the country). Overall, he was good as he didn't stammer at all. The 3rd Oppo speaker was so calm and amusingly funny.

To quote a few lines from them:
You would rather pay for people who need cosmetic surgery than for those who are dying. That's crazy. [1]
Cosmetic surgery is not allowed in Muslim. So, you are not benefiting the 60% of Muslims in the country, equivalent to neglecting them. [1]
Have you heard of exercise, sir? [2]
How many fat, poor people have you seen? (After he mentioned that these people got fat after eating a lot. Eating a lot requires money, so these people aren't poor at all). [2]
The speaker could do with liposuction, yet he seems confident enough. (Whoa!) [2]
It's your turn to warm your seats. [3]

There are more, but these are the more memorable ones I've stored.

Many people found the 3rd Proposition speaker quite irritating. Apart from her squeaky voice, she was quite short-tempered and kept asking the poor Oppositions to "continue warming their seats as they were not warm enough" whenever they wanted to POI. At some point when they couldn't take it anymore, all 3 Opposition speakers stood up at once, which was a pretty cool sight.

The reply speech was weird. Everyone was expecting the Proposition's 2nd speaker to be doing the reply, but it was their first speaker doing it. That was like some mistake or something. Anticlimax.

After the mock debate, Zi Ying helped me look for the mechanical pencil I dropped as I was cheering for the cool 2nd Oppo speaker. Then, both of us went for lunch.

The queue for food was crazy. There were, however, 2 lines. Very long lines. Well, one was actually shorter than the other. And people were weird because no one wanted to go to the shorter line. We saw DC there and 3 of us started talking animatedly about the mock debate. Somehow, Zi Ying and I were so animated, we followed DC who took the longer lane. Everyone who came after us followed suit and no one else took the short lane anymore.

When we were nearing the food (at last!), the shorter lane was already nearly empty. DC offered to go check out what difference there was in that line. He quickly came back and said that the other line was for vegetarians. After a while, the place was completely empty and there was a kind school who told us to line up there. I explained why no one was there and they said all the food was the same.

The truth was simple. I'm hungry. So I don't really care whether it's vegetarian or not, it's still edible. In my final attempt to get food, I rushed over and Natasha followed me. It was only then that DC swapped lines and followed us (geez, was he dreaming before this?? Vegetarian food.....?) [And Zi Ying, if he was following someone, it'll be Natasha. I just provide laughter]. And all those pesky followers behind the long line started to shift. Zi Ying refused to move because "once a guy comes up with a plan, he sticks to the plan".

Firstly, Zi Ying isn't a guy. And the whole plan is to get food. Fast.

The food was great. And somehow, I just started talking nonsense from lunch onwards. Abhilaash thought I was weird, since I was trying to debate the "fact" that aliens breath nitrogen gas.

When we were waiting ouside the auditorium after lunch (for the competition balloting, which we didn't join), I was nearly screaming : Aliens have invaded our brains. Therefore, our brains absorb nitrogen. Daniel and Shu Wen were taking pictures of me screaming so that they can send my picture to the world's leading scientists for further studies to be carried out. Not quite the smartest thing to do after all.

"Brains don't absorb nitrogen! Listen to us! Who's the real alien here?!?........Oh yeah, you are."
-Daniel Ong-

Very amusing.

DJ is against Sri Aman.

That pretty much wraps up my whole week.

I'm looking forward to more workshops in colleges. The food is great. (Minus the distractions).

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April Fools

As the title suggests, there have been many April fools (for all I know, they could be whole-year fools) I've met for this week. When I mean fools, I really really mean it.

For the first half of the week, I've prolonged my life for a few years by laughing so hard my voice couldn't come out. All thanks to Yean Yi and our tangled mess out of the violin performance. Yean Yi was making funny noises in her attempt to imitate Pn Norita, the teacher in charge of the whole MAC (Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang), in a squeaky voice. In English, MAC basically means the nerds go to the stage to take prizes while Tchaikovsky's Overture 1812 plays on in the background. Yes, it is very grand indeed, minus the Overture. Instead, expect monotonous lullabies from the school's principal along with her 45-minute speech. Her speeches are so empty, slow and irrelevant that even the smart people fall asleep. I've got living proof, by the way.

Right, so we're playing for a rather grand event here. Apparently, we find ourselves preparing to look like total dimwits onstage, and I plan to wear a clown's suit along to match that. Our timing was really out during our practices (except when I stamp my foot to the beats, out of frustration or mere patience, I don't really know myself). Clown's shoes would do a good job either way.

I was supposed to do my aural on the same day as violin practice. I inititally decided to kill 2 birds with one stone (or one violin, in this case). Unfortunately, due to several changes in circumstances, I ended up not being able to complete my aural.

That was pretty much Monday for you, thank you very much.

Tuesday was quite an annoying day. This day so happens to be the day when Sha Lynn turns a year older. Almost all the teachers teaching my class didn't turn up and the only serious lesson we had was English lesson. Pity Sha Lynn, who had to do a lot of donkey work albeit the day being her special day. The class really got mean when no one volunteered to "bersajak". It's reading a malay poem with a tuneful voice. So, Sha Lynn ended up really irritated and started screaming at the class.

During yet another free period, when Sha Lynn and Angeline were sleeping, the principal's right-hand lady, Pn Ruth, appeared at our door and called both of them out for a lecture on what they've done. Cassandra miraculously escaped eventhough she was sleeping right under Pn Ruth's nose, while Sha and Angeline who were strategically located in the middle of the class, had to get all the scolding.

During art period, whereby our teacher didn't turn up, the prefects intruded. They came in with shotguns along with picnic baskets and started yelling at us to freeze and make our way out of the classroom while they conduct a search for the class treasury. Having failed to detect the obvious 'X' mark on my table (not to mention other profitable devices from other students such as handphones), they left, clearly disappointed. They expected more from the wrong class. Sigh.

Wednesay. April the 1st.
What does this remind you of?
All those stupid things you do.

The evil side of me has remained dormant ever since I was 10 and I have this urgent need to start being mean to people. My last victim was my mother, who successfully fell into my trap when I told her there was a lizard in the house which needed to be exterminated. After 5 years of dormancy, I have decided.....to awaken! (I sound almost like Frankenstein).

Before my evil side had the chance to show itself, my house has already played 3 jokes on the family to usher in the new day. One clock was 1 hour slow. The plumbers who fixed our piping barely a few days ago killed our torchlight. And the 3rd......

I was busy nerdifying myself when the electricity failed.

Mind you, the torchlight was spoilt.

"SCREW YOU, TNB!!!! WHAT KIND OF APRIL FOOL'S JOKE IS THIS????"
TNB is Tenaga Nasional Berhad, the company in charge of the nation's power plants.

Luckily, I was listening to my iPod. So in the end, it was "Don't worry. I've got my iPod with me. iPod to the rescue!!!"

The house blacked out for another 2 more times after that (thanks to our computer and all the problematic USB ports, not TNB). It was just minutes to midnight. Minutes to April Fool's day.

Then, at 12.15 midnight, I started strategizing my "master plan". I informed my parents about my "joke" in case they wake up and run over to beat the "unidentified noise-maker". My mother was staying awake to see what happens and was kind enough to suggest where to stand to make the best out of my plans.

When I told her I was going to laugh like my Daffy-laugh, she said that the neighbours would think it was her instead of me that was making the sound, since all the neighbours see was her. They never see me because I have evolved into an invisible creature, only appearing in front of certain people. So, according to my mum, my neighbours would think: "What happened to this crazy lady? Now she's really going nuts. Eh, when did she start getting into her laughing fit......?"

The strategic place to scare people with my laughing had to be done, of all places, in my toilet. Thankfully, it was accessible to all the houses behind mine. I took a deep breath and......

"Hoo-hoo-haa-haa.........." (lasting about 10 minutes or so).

"What was that sound?" was all I heard from someone far away. Muffled.

Thinking no one else heard me, I went down again.


"Mummy, did you hear me?"
"Of course. You were very clear."
"Really?"
"Yes. You sounded like a bird, so no one would be afraid of you."

Darn.

In school, my form teacher thought it was an April Fool's joke when I turned up at the top of the class behind Melissa. She just couldn't believe it. I don't blame her. No one believes my marks anyway. Maybe I cheated during exam and managed to bribe all the teachers to shut their mouths up. No one knows for sure. (Hahahahaha).

I mean, I take the shortcuts out of things, I don't look as if I study, nor do I look like the type who really cares about memorizing stupid, arbitrary things. Such trivial matters can be laid to rest in my head, which leaves many teachers puzzling over how I managed to jump over all the other students who somehow just seem more harworking than I am. Furthermore, I've been spending a whole block of hours at the piano (screw you, piano....). [At least I made up for that crystal star]. All I do in class is provide the nonsense and laughing material. Yes, I talk a lot. My mother's explanation to every teacher who says I wasn't like that in Form One: "Oh, she wasn't used to her braces yet."

Splendid answer. It's true. I talked a lot ever since I was 6.

Anyway......

......My mean prank after all that was to glue the BPP book (to prevent truancy). My History teacher was supposed to sign the book, but being as quick as lightning, I managed to glue the pages together so that she wouldn't be able to sign it. [Credits for providing the glue goes to Zi Ying]. And Pn Noor had a hard time trying to tear open the pages. Wow. How mean of me. *Diabolical laughter* (although all I can produce is a daffy-laugh).

Unfortunately, Shafiq outdid my prank by tying all of Pn Noor's stuff together on her pencil box's ring when she wasn't looking. So, when she lifted up her pencil box, everything flew up with it. I did the same thing to Sha Lynn's pencil box and her bottle when she was busy playing Bingo. Apart from that, I also [proudly] tied Yi Cai's bag in a knot when he wasn't looking.

There was a Nostalgia meeting after school and the whole editorial board was supposed to be there. Apparently, the Datin rendered the rest of us useless as she was just talking about the Photography and Production department. What a terrible April Fool's joke that wasted my whole afternoon. The English department was redundant during the meeting. Asjndkfjbskjfb.

During Maths tuition, Shafiq was acting really blur. Melissa and I thought he was pranking Mrs Tan for the fun of it, and kept laughing like nuts (well, actually I was the nut). We found out the next day that he really meant what he was asking and that it wasn't a prank.

Thursday was quite dull. Shafiq brightened it a little by trying to get either Melissa or me to lend him our maths books. Oh, of course I agreed. As long as I get *cough* paid.

During the violin practice, Timothy made fun of the afternoon session folks when a prefect couldn't chase 2 students out of the hall. Tim suddenly stopped playing the piano, walked up to the pesky 2 people, and pointed at the door. Worst of all, he was wearing his backbone brace (scoliosis) and he was grinning the whole time, which made him look like he was about to kill them. Of course they ran out without hesitation.

On Friday, I made a new Form 1 friend, some guy named Darien Liew from 1 Cengal. The prefect who was trying to chase the 2 students on the previous day finally had the guts to talk to us while we were practicing (Oh, the nerve! Kidding....). According to what he claims, he started swearing since 4. That's......amazing. Wow. Congratulations on your feat!

Debate workshop on Saturday.

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I Complain

After weeks of endless attempts to cram useless information into our heads, memorising numerous arbitrary moral values and their arbitrary definitions and finally, coming face to face with those horrendous, blasphemous results, it's once again back to the time of the year to start guessing the smart weirdos in our class of 3 Batai 2009.

Ahem.

Correction: Start guessing the REST of the smart weirdos in class. The number one post is indisputably Melissa's territory.

Oh great. Look at me now. I'm starting to get really exam oriented. And it's because of this I'm starting to grumble.

Look at what the education system is doing to us! Doesn't anyone notice our freaky mental dysfunction? We rarely touch our books the whole year and only start hitting the books a few weeks before the exam. The smart people might start a few months early for all we know. For what? To get good grades? To get that 'A' on our report cards and to rid the minor blemishes of 'B's?


What's the point?

Let's look at it from another perspective.

Decades ago, during our parents' childhood years, have you any idea what exams were for? They were mainly to see if the students understood what they learnt. Those who really do remember what they've learnt are the true genii.

Fastforward to today and ask yourself this question. What are exams for? If you answered ".......to show how much the students know/ have learnt/ understood", think again. Exams now are mainly to boast your intelligence, to show people how good you are at memorising useless facts you don't even need to know to continue surviving. And, not to forget, to secure scholarships.

Even the top students. Don't believe?

If you talked to any of them before(or, you are one of them), notice that if something or some random fact isn't going to come out in the next exam, the smart kid won't even bother remembering it. Or, if the teacher tells the students which chapters to study for the next term, nobody bothers reading the other "irrelevant" chapters which are not coming out.

So, are they really that smart? (I'm not bursting your bubble, okay? Don't throw eggs at me!)

I'm just hoping for that one day when the principal would turn up on the first day of school and say that all the exams throughout the year are cancelled. There would be no more streaming anymore, no more positions, no more handing in our workbooks. Just observe everyone. No one would touch their books ever again.

And boom!

One day, your biology teacher walks in, noticeably happier than usual, and announces triumphantly that today would be your end-year assessment. Observe how everyone's expressions melt to a glassy stare into space, their jaws opening unconsciously, becoming a playground for flies. It wouldn't make much of a difference even if your mouth was closed anyway, you're going to die soon.

Trust me, more than half of the school would fail.

Although it sounds sadistic, I'm waiting for that to happen. Then, we all know who the true nerds are [and copying homework can be made easier].

I mean, exams have even leaked into the teachers heads and started polluting their thoughts with "must-fail-students" thoughts. What is wrong with everyone?

An archetype for this is Pn Nomi, 3 Batai's happy form teacher. Why happy? Is it because she jokes a lot or has that rare sense of humour? Or maybe she loves to talk to our class to make us feel better? Or is she some revolutionary teacher who challenges the forces that be?

Nah. What nonsense. She's the teacher who successfully "failed" all the 3 Batai students. Which teacher has ever accomplished such a feat? In the first class?? Well, that's our perception of it. "Fail" means not getting an 'A'. The highest mark was TWO marks from an 'A'. Not much difference now, is it? Only two humans got that honour [Melissa and *ahem* I]. Why am I complaining then? See, it shows I'm infected too. The 'A'-grade disease. The percentage comparison. Everyone was so disappointed as "the BM essay marks pulled down everyone's percentage by 3% and above".

But anyway, that's not my point. My point is..........back to exam-oriented thinking. As the above shows, even teachers are infected. And once the students get the results back, what else can you, as a student, do? One girl who suffered from a chronic exam-oriented infection said she was going to tell her tuition teacher about this outrage. She said this was ridiculous and she needed to complain to her tuition teacher.

Honestly, what does she expect her tuition teacher to do? Is he supposed to storm after Pn Nomi, demanding an explanation and sueing her for giving everyone in the first class inexplicably undesirable marks only the last class kids deserve? Pht*. Now that's what I call ridiculous.

*Pht is pronouced as "PFFT" and is a legal word, used to express annoyance. Found in scrabble =D

If you inspect the Malaysian policy closer, you would realise our "kiasu-ness" might even be comparable to Singapore's, only difference being we practice a more corrupted version of it. Seriously.

Public exams questions "leak" out weeks or even days before the actual exam. Excuse me! Aren't we all supposed to be prepared for this ourselves? It's basically such an insult to know that you've worked so hard all by yourself and the invisible "forces that be" are now leaking out questions for the lower classes. Is this an exam or what? People are announcing the questions that might come out just so that we can score higher marks for the exam????

For heaven's sake, stop it!!!! The standard for grade 'A' is already so low and you're still doing all these??? Hey, Americans!! *Waves frantically* How would you feel if I told you grade 'A' is from 70-100 marks in the public exam????? It's dumb, isn't it?! While some others might argue that Eastern countries have a tendency to be exam-oriented, I find this ridiculous. Might as well scrape off all the exams.

Think about it, my fellow compatriots. What's the whole point of memorising so many facts only to throw them away later? So what if you know that Francis Light found Penang? So what if you know how the Japanese conquered us? Who the heck cares if your brain can digest all the moral values and their arbitrary definitions when you can't even apply them? For heavens sake, some people don't even know who the first man on the moon was. Or Genghis Khan. Or Napoleon Bonaparte (some people thought he invented Neapolitan-flavoured ice-cream). Let's learn all these other useful things, rather than study things we'd forget after the exam. It's time we make our syllabus global.

Wow. Enough exam rantings. I bet I'm boring you to death.

**********************************************

Some other weird happenings this week includes:

Power transition from Abdullah Badawi to Najib. Sigh, I do not wish to say anything else. When you've got nothing nice to say, just shut up. (Even the French know it).
Najib got his "dream team", which the rakyat (citizens) portray as "nightmare team".

Mr K (extra-curricular teacher) was joking throughout his entire speech during assembly. Some parts include ".....so much disciplinary problem when you're back in school.......you get apprehended.......the good news is, Liverpool won.....". And when he was praising the sportsmen in school, he asked each one of them to stand up for their respective sport when mentioned. Very few dared to stand up for some unknown fear. "Those who stood up are brave. Very good. Those who dared not stand up.......are also very good! Modesty, a moral value, has been applied.......". It soon became "misplaced modesty" and teachers have been criticising our class for that the whole week.

I don't know why I bothered to offer myself to perform for the school's MAC. Now, I have to arrange a song in 2 days.

No more complaints. Enjoy your weekend.

Cheers,
Ryx.

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I'm Not Associated.....

Joy, oh joy!! I made it into the Nostalgia editorial board again!! Cassandra and Sha Lynn didn't, though. Actually, Cas would have gotten in. As I figured out later, Samantha said during the meeting that being old members, we didn't need to reapply. (Excuse me? I wrote the darn essay for nothing?!!). Ghee Ken, Shu Wen and I were in the English department. There are only 6 people in the department (how sad is that?? It used to be close to ten...). Samantha went for Business/Production. Joseph (Graphics?) and Jonathan(??) were inside too though I'm not so sure about their departments.

Well, I just realised I'm getting more attached to my school nowadays.

For example, I decided to join the prefectorial board once more--only to resign myself the next day! You see, after I went home, my parents promptly said that I could not join this year. They found that "prefecthood" was my main source of stress. Eventhough I go to school waaaaay before 7.10 am, there is this tendency to panic one hour before that. If I were to get to school at, let's say, 6 o'clock, I'd start panicking at 5.15. If I were a normal student, I couldn't care less even if my clock shows 5.59. Paradoxically, the panic attack makes me reach school later than if I were calm. Somehow, miracles happen; as a student, I'd reach a destination at 6 even if I left the house at 5.59. Slick.

I was the only one from my year who applied for the job. There were only 5 other applicants who were Form 4s. After I quit, Keefe (in charge of late-comers) still kept thinking I was late as I arrived during "duty time". I don't blame him. The only 2 prefects who knew the decision on the first day I quit were Jian Nee and Jayshendra. I was told by Jayshendra that this is actually the best time to join. "You don't have a chance in Form 4", he said. Yeah, I could see that too. Everyone was going to apply in Form 4. And, there's a 99% get-through chance this year, where applicants are so few.

I joined the Interact club for several [good] reasons. Firstly, my parents said it was good (it's not actually that active in my school). Secondly, I never go for sport's practice nor St. John's since they don't do anything there. Thirdly, there are many functions and dinners in the Interact club (or so I've heard). That means more trips to hotels (yay)!!

High chance I'd join Scouts next year. Cas said "don't join this year". It's going to be a busy one, with the addition of our public exam. I don't know if it's true, but senior scouts "get less work" compared to junior ones. If that's the case, I'm joining Scouts.

Oh okay, let's go back to the magazine editorial board. Apparently, there will be major changes in the way articles are written now. There would be less "grandmother stories". And there should be a theme.....Right, who wants to suggest a theme for the school magazine?

Madam Tan and form teacher Pn Nomi has given me some advice on "How to be a Good Treasurer". Listen up if you want to be one!!!

1. Bug all the students to pay up. Literally chase them. They deserve the tyrannic treatment. Even prefects. [Diabolical laughter] If they fail to hand over the money within the day you acknowledged them, pretend to have a fit in front of them. Don't forget to froth at your mouth and wriggle about like you're possessed. The money will suddenly appear out of thin air. You might even get sincere donations from the concerned public.

2. If your debtors try to act like madmen (if they aren't already one) to retaliate, call the counselor over ASAP. These people need immediate counseling. Perform this task quickly. Your life's in danger here.

3. Get envelopes ready. You may need them to keep your money. If you can't get any envelopes, bring along your piggy bank. Ignore rude stares from friends. Money is precious, even if it means killing trees.

4. Prepare a notebook. Teachers don't want you to bribe them during exams. Make sure you include a column for your recipients to sign. Neither of you want to lose track of payments. If you bribe people, this is extremely important as it ensures you that your agreement is not forgotten and so, you are not cheated. Remember to hide your notebook away from friends. If they found out you were bribing, ohoho......

That reminds me. Have you ever wondered why of all things, money is made from trees? Money is just paper. Apparently, you spend money to kill more trees to get more money. Now, how dumb is that?

OH GOD...I SAW SCOTT AND HIS FAMILY IN GIANT SHOPPING COMPLEX!!!!

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For Nostalgia's Sake

The first week of school has officially ended (only applicable to me). It was actually quite fun, not to mention confusing.

On Monday, I arrived at 7.10 and started looking for long lost people. The canteen was packed like mad and if I could describe it, it would be the tin can and we pupils would be the preserved food in it. I saw Sabreena's gang first and was quite shocked to find that Iman quit being a prefect. Aarrghh....it's so uncomfortable acting like a normal student now.....After adopting Brownian Movement for a while, I found my fellow Batai-ans Chingx and Melissa. After savouring the lost feeling for a while, we students were herded like sheep to the pavilion. There, we were given a thousand speeches as usual. We were quite noisy at first and Pn Mary-Anne said she hoped that we had not lost our sense our hearing. Cassandra quickly shot back a sarcastic "Whaat??". Luckily everyone had a delayed reaction otherwise Cas would have been heard and punished. The poor prefects lined the perimeter of the pavilion and wore their oven-hot blazers. It puzzles me why none of them turned into a roasted chicken. The Datin again gave a long-winded speech to "welcome" us back to school. Anyone could see that the effect was reversed among the students. Her speech never loses its magic to put everyone within the vicinity to sleep. After what seemed like an eternity, we were brought to our classes.

3 Batai was quite lost. We thought the classroom we would be using is the 2 Angsana classroom. Instead, we found ourselves occupying a classroom previously utilized by the lower classes. Many Batai-ans sulked at this and saw it as an "insult". Normally, it is the 3 Batai-ans who get the privilege to use the Angsana classroom. Right now, it was the 3 Angsana that got it. More than half the class used the same classroom since last year. Our classroom sits right on top of the girl's toilet. I hope the rising stench doesn't disrupt our class studies.

Sha Lynn volunteered herself to be the class monitor. For the assistant, the class nominated Louis Chong. I'm not very sure who they were trying to make fun of because both Sha and Louis were resentful with that decision. Nevertheless, Louis accepted the post. In the first place, I don't think he's even qualified for that job. Put anything in his possession and after 3 days, you'd be shocked to find it crumpled, messed up, filthy or destroyed. Nobody would be surprised even if pet cockroaches were found with him. I became a class committee member.

School classes were as usual. Our Civics teacher has gotten on our nerves. She treats the subject like a matter of life and death. Somehow, our History teacher is great...at least better than last year's. She has a great sense of humour and can at least tell us about more interesting facts not in our textbooks. English turned out alright too. We got Madam Tan for Maths. There are so many "Mrs Tan"s in my school that she prefers to be addressed as Madam Tan.

On Thursday, I became the class treasurer (after Joshua and Yi Jing). There was quite an amount of missing money. The last 6 ringgit was divided among the 3 of us on Friday. After chasing everyone around like a wild nut, finally, the class finished paying up to the treasurer. (Hooray!!).

I'm planning on joining Nostalgia again this year. And I'm supposed to come up with an essay as to why I should be chosen to join the editorial board. Well, here goes nothing...

I plan to involve myself in the English department in the Nostalgia editorial board so that I can contribute to the better of society (Oh dear, I sound like a British!). Let me paraphrase that. I wish to express my urgent need to be involved in the making of the school's magazine otherwise I would experience a total nervous breakdown and....and....Hold on a minute. I'm losing myself here. Give me a moment to redeem my conscious self.

*Concentrates all thoughts on McDonald's Fillet-O-Fish*.

Ah, much better! Hey, don't dispose my resume!!! I haven't even started elucidating why I want to join the editorial board yet! Don't take away my chance, thank you very much. This would be very short and sweet.

Oh merciful being, have you heard of those famous people all around the world like John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (more commonly known as J.R.R Tolkien)? He is none other than the author of "Lord of the Rings". His books have made him renowned as the "father" of modern fantasy literature. His books are interconnected and they all share the same bigger picture. His command of English is so powerful and descriptions so vivid that we tend to even get lost in our imagination when reading his books. To achieve that supremacy in the English language is just what I'm asking for.

But that isn't just it. A good command of English alone isn't enough to want to make someone superglue his eyes to a book's pages. In most cases, people fall asleep after attempting half a page of a heavy book (excuse the pun). I don't blame them either. With the amount of time kids spend on the computer, dubbed by some to be the "Idiot Box Number 2", they definitely do not have the time to challenge themselves with deeper reading material. To them, a book, is, after all, just a book. Chick lit would be much more appealing to them.

And that's where the element of humour jumps in to create a big splash!! Come on now, let's not be defiant on this matter. Humour is the one element that manages to cross the age barrier, as well as the psychological mind. We all are bombarded day in, day out, with endless strings of depressing stories and stressful work. What could be more refreshing than a page full of nonsensical humour? It could be dry humour, satire, slapstick, pun, scintillating or just plain silly.

Having said that, I think I could help inject a little jocoseness and laughter into the hearts of DJ's pupils. They have been getting stressed out time and again. Come on, through all these years, the ludicrous Mr Bean have already perfected the art of jumping into the car semi-buttoned, semi-zipped and zooming down the town at Grand Prix speed with a toothbrush in his mouth to catch a dentist appointment . It wouldn't do any harm if antics like these were recorded for posterity's sake, would it? Laughter is the best medicine. That is, unless you don't laugh the whole day through for no apparent reason.

And come to think of it. What better place to start harnessing the gift of farcicality than in the young schooling days?

Yes, this is stupid. Forgive the immature content in this post.

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Failure

Abraham Lincoln experienced failure after failure - for twenty-eight years! In 1833 his business failed. In 1836 he had a nervous breakdown. He failed to be elected as speaker in 1838. He lost re-nomination to Congress in 1848, and was rejected for Land Officer in 1849. But he 'hung in there'. In 1854 he was defeated for the Senate. Two years later he lost the nomination for Vice-President, and was again defeated in the Senate elections of 1858. But he was elected President in 1860, and went on to become America's best-known leader ever.

'We regret we are unable to give you the weather. We rely on weather reports from the airport, which is closed because of the weather. Whether we are able to give you the weather tomorrow depends on the weather.'

I don't know who said 'It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game', but I reckon most modern sporting clubs wouldn't want that fellow in their team.

In reality what is perceived as failure is often success, and vice-versa.

'The biggest reward for a thing well done is to have done it'.

What looks like failure in a success-mad world may prove to be successful in the longer run.



What is life to you?
I like to contradict Jacob Black who says:
"Life sucks then you die"
My opinion is:
"Life sucks then you succeed".

What is the greatest feeling?
An abstract question.

Do you like school?
Friends are great. Education sucks.

What subject don't you like about school?
History, Moral.

How perasan are you? (Perasan is a term used to indicate how sensitive to yourself or self-centred a person is)
Am I THAT bad?

Who do you tag?
Procrastinators.

Excuse the failed topics above. I'm just trying to self-console myself.

Speaking of that.....what's up with pupils in my class?

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