April Fools

As the title suggests, there have been many April fools (for all I know, they could be whole-year fools) I've met for this week. When I mean fools, I really really mean it.

For the first half of the week, I've prolonged my life for a few years by laughing so hard my voice couldn't come out. All thanks to Yean Yi and our tangled mess out of the violin performance. Yean Yi was making funny noises in her attempt to imitate Pn Norita, the teacher in charge of the whole MAC (Majlis Anugerah Cemerlang), in a squeaky voice. In English, MAC basically means the nerds go to the stage to take prizes while Tchaikovsky's Overture 1812 plays on in the background. Yes, it is very grand indeed, minus the Overture. Instead, expect monotonous lullabies from the school's principal along with her 45-minute speech. Her speeches are so empty, slow and irrelevant that even the smart people fall asleep. I've got living proof, by the way.

Right, so we're playing for a rather grand event here. Apparently, we find ourselves preparing to look like total dimwits onstage, and I plan to wear a clown's suit along to match that. Our timing was really out during our practices (except when I stamp my foot to the beats, out of frustration or mere patience, I don't really know myself). Clown's shoes would do a good job either way.

I was supposed to do my aural on the same day as violin practice. I inititally decided to kill 2 birds with one stone (or one violin, in this case). Unfortunately, due to several changes in circumstances, I ended up not being able to complete my aural.

That was pretty much Monday for you, thank you very much.

Tuesday was quite an annoying day. This day so happens to be the day when Sha Lynn turns a year older. Almost all the teachers teaching my class didn't turn up and the only serious lesson we had was English lesson. Pity Sha Lynn, who had to do a lot of donkey work albeit the day being her special day. The class really got mean when no one volunteered to "bersajak". It's reading a malay poem with a tuneful voice. So, Sha Lynn ended up really irritated and started screaming at the class.

During yet another free period, when Sha Lynn and Angeline were sleeping, the principal's right-hand lady, Pn Ruth, appeared at our door and called both of them out for a lecture on what they've done. Cassandra miraculously escaped eventhough she was sleeping right under Pn Ruth's nose, while Sha and Angeline who were strategically located in the middle of the class, had to get all the scolding.

During art period, whereby our teacher didn't turn up, the prefects intruded. They came in with shotguns along with picnic baskets and started yelling at us to freeze and make our way out of the classroom while they conduct a search for the class treasury. Having failed to detect the obvious 'X' mark on my table (not to mention other profitable devices from other students such as handphones), they left, clearly disappointed. They expected more from the wrong class. Sigh.

Wednesay. April the 1st.
What does this remind you of?
All those stupid things you do.

The evil side of me has remained dormant ever since I was 10 and I have this urgent need to start being mean to people. My last victim was my mother, who successfully fell into my trap when I told her there was a lizard in the house which needed to be exterminated. After 5 years of dormancy, I have decided.....to awaken! (I sound almost like Frankenstein).

Before my evil side had the chance to show itself, my house has already played 3 jokes on the family to usher in the new day. One clock was 1 hour slow. The plumbers who fixed our piping barely a few days ago killed our torchlight. And the 3rd......

I was busy nerdifying myself when the electricity failed.

Mind you, the torchlight was spoilt.

"SCREW YOU, TNB!!!! WHAT KIND OF APRIL FOOL'S JOKE IS THIS????"
TNB is Tenaga Nasional Berhad, the company in charge of the nation's power plants.

Luckily, I was listening to my iPod. So in the end, it was "Don't worry. I've got my iPod with me. iPod to the rescue!!!"

The house blacked out for another 2 more times after that (thanks to our computer and all the problematic USB ports, not TNB). It was just minutes to midnight. Minutes to April Fool's day.

Then, at 12.15 midnight, I started strategizing my "master plan". I informed my parents about my "joke" in case they wake up and run over to beat the "unidentified noise-maker". My mother was staying awake to see what happens and was kind enough to suggest where to stand to make the best out of my plans.

When I told her I was going to laugh like my Daffy-laugh, she said that the neighbours would think it was her instead of me that was making the sound, since all the neighbours see was her. They never see me because I have evolved into an invisible creature, only appearing in front of certain people. So, according to my mum, my neighbours would think: "What happened to this crazy lady? Now she's really going nuts. Eh, when did she start getting into her laughing fit......?"

The strategic place to scare people with my laughing had to be done, of all places, in my toilet. Thankfully, it was accessible to all the houses behind mine. I took a deep breath and......

"Hoo-hoo-haa-haa.........." (lasting about 10 minutes or so).

"What was that sound?" was all I heard from someone far away. Muffled.

Thinking no one else heard me, I went down again.


"Mummy, did you hear me?"
"Of course. You were very clear."
"Really?"
"Yes. You sounded like a bird, so no one would be afraid of you."

Darn.

In school, my form teacher thought it was an April Fool's joke when I turned up at the top of the class behind Melissa. She just couldn't believe it. I don't blame her. No one believes my marks anyway. Maybe I cheated during exam and managed to bribe all the teachers to shut their mouths up. No one knows for sure. (Hahahahaha).

I mean, I take the shortcuts out of things, I don't look as if I study, nor do I look like the type who really cares about memorizing stupid, arbitrary things. Such trivial matters can be laid to rest in my head, which leaves many teachers puzzling over how I managed to jump over all the other students who somehow just seem more harworking than I am. Furthermore, I've been spending a whole block of hours at the piano (screw you, piano....). [At least I made up for that crystal star]. All I do in class is provide the nonsense and laughing material. Yes, I talk a lot. My mother's explanation to every teacher who says I wasn't like that in Form One: "Oh, she wasn't used to her braces yet."

Splendid answer. It's true. I talked a lot ever since I was 6.

Anyway......

......My mean prank after all that was to glue the BPP book (to prevent truancy). My History teacher was supposed to sign the book, but being as quick as lightning, I managed to glue the pages together so that she wouldn't be able to sign it. [Credits for providing the glue goes to Zi Ying]. And Pn Noor had a hard time trying to tear open the pages. Wow. How mean of me. *Diabolical laughter* (although all I can produce is a daffy-laugh).

Unfortunately, Shafiq outdid my prank by tying all of Pn Noor's stuff together on her pencil box's ring when she wasn't looking. So, when she lifted up her pencil box, everything flew up with it. I did the same thing to Sha Lynn's pencil box and her bottle when she was busy playing Bingo. Apart from that, I also [proudly] tied Yi Cai's bag in a knot when he wasn't looking.

There was a Nostalgia meeting after school and the whole editorial board was supposed to be there. Apparently, the Datin rendered the rest of us useless as she was just talking about the Photography and Production department. What a terrible April Fool's joke that wasted my whole afternoon. The English department was redundant during the meeting. Asjndkfjbskjfb.

During Maths tuition, Shafiq was acting really blur. Melissa and I thought he was pranking Mrs Tan for the fun of it, and kept laughing like nuts (well, actually I was the nut). We found out the next day that he really meant what he was asking and that it wasn't a prank.

Thursday was quite dull. Shafiq brightened it a little by trying to get either Melissa or me to lend him our maths books. Oh, of course I agreed. As long as I get *cough* paid.

During the violin practice, Timothy made fun of the afternoon session folks when a prefect couldn't chase 2 students out of the hall. Tim suddenly stopped playing the piano, walked up to the pesky 2 people, and pointed at the door. Worst of all, he was wearing his backbone brace (scoliosis) and he was grinning the whole time, which made him look like he was about to kill them. Of course they ran out without hesitation.

On Friday, I made a new Form 1 friend, some guy named Darien Liew from 1 Cengal. The prefect who was trying to chase the 2 students on the previous day finally had the guts to talk to us while we were practicing (Oh, the nerve! Kidding....). According to what he claims, he started swearing since 4. That's......amazing. Wow. Congratulations on your feat!

Debate workshop on Saturday.