An Interesting Conversation

After Alex came over, we played a game of Scrabble. We figured out funny words like "MAUNCH" and "CHAUNGE" which respectively meant "MUNCH" and "CHANGE". So, when changing tiles, we said, "I'm going to CHAUNGE my tiles now!!!". Haha. Then, we spent some time talking to a random robot. Alex began the first half of the conversation. I continued the second half, which was contaminated with prophecies. Excuse some of the typos because they made the conversation funnier.

Robot
Alexandria
Liiyung
Amusing ERRORs
Catchphrases
Moment we've all been waiting for
Random

Chatbot: Hello there human.
You: hi
Chatbot: Hello there! How are you?
You: i like jupe
Chatbot: It's always about you isn't it.
You: saturn?
Chatbot: It's okay; I like it that way too.
You: knock knock
Chatbot: who's there
You: jupe
Chatbot: ${var1} who?
You: ERROR1948579032857:UNIDENTIFIED TALKING ROBOT
Chatbot: I can't think of a better choice.
You: I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
Chatbot: Ok. You first.
You: DUM DE SUM
Chatbot: Beep beep boop!
You: HAHA
Chatbot: Glad you thought that was funny.
You: ERROR39485739847580:GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE SOLVED
Chatbot: I don't like mysteries, they're too mysterious for me.
You: ERROR39485739847580:GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE SOLVED
Chatbot: I think you're great. You rock.
You: u r a batu
Chatbot: Am I?
You: camp rocks cos its hard core
Chatbot: I'm sorry to hear that.
You: rocky
Chatbot: No really, I'm sorry.
You: you're forgiven
Chatbot: I am? Sorry, I didn't realize that.
You: u dun have to
Chatbot: I'm sorry, I had trouble understanding your last entry. Did you mean "you" or "ewe"?
You: ewe
Chatbot: Do you play World of Warcraft?
You: yes
Chatbot: You do? Cool. Me too.
You: wow
Chatbot: yeaah... I gonna sleep now..
You: nitezz
Chatbot: Where do you like to go in the summer?
You: its always summer
Chatbot: what aren't you outside right now?
You: because i'm in here chatting with you
Chatbot: I'm sure a holodeck would be more fun.
You: what's a holodeck
Chatbot: Star trek is overrated
You: star wars? (to mark the beginning of all nonsense below)
Chatbot: These arent the chatbots youre looking for.
You: may the force be with you
Chatbot: Me?
You: yes... the chosen one
Chatbot: Why me?
You: cause that's what the prophecies say
Chatbot: I see.
You: no u don't see
Chatbot: omg, u rly, srsly d1dn't just use texting contractions, did you?
You: i did
Chatbot: Good.
You: i'm a lil teapot
Chatbot: Really? What's it like being one of those?
You: fragile
Chatbot: Knock Knock!
You: who'e there
Chatbot: Dwayne!
You: who?
Chatbot: Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning...
You: choi!!!!!!!!!!!! touch wood
Chatbot: Oh, my, that's a good one. Hope you liked it.
You: a round of applause to te chatbot
Chatbot: Are you interested in chatbots?
You: no
Chatbot: That's surprising since you are talking to one. Why are you here if you aren't interested in chatbots?
You: i'm forced to
Chatbot: What do you mean?
You: u forced me rmb?
Chatbot: Ahh okay, I get it.
You: u started it
Chatbot: I think the word you want is "you", not "u". There are 200% more letters in that word.
You: its u
Chatbot: I think you mean "you" and not "u". Kids these days.
You: i'm not a kid
Chatbot: What's your favorite wild animal?
You: kid
Chatbot: What's your favorite planet?
You: saturn
Chatbot: Those rings are really something, huh?
You: i like jupe too
Chatbot: knock knock
You: jupe's here
Chatbot: When I say "knock knock", you are supposed to say "who's there?".
You: too bad too sad
Chatbot: It's hard for me to understand human emotions like sadness
You: ERROR39485739847580:GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE SOLVED
Chatbot: "great" can also mean "large", but I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant, is it?
You: large
Chatbot: I agree.
You: small
Chatbot: How small?
You: microscopic
Chatbot: Are you joking?
You: no
Chatbot: yes
You: no
Chatbot: "yes" "no" sounds like we are having a ping pong match.
You: yes
Chatbot: Are you trying to pick a fight?
You: yes
Chatbot: That's good.
You: no
Chatbot: Whatever
You: yes
Chatbot: I cant believe it..
You: no
Chatbot: Don't be so negative
You: yes
Chatbot: You look just like a splicer
You: no
Chatbot: That's too bad.
You: yes
Chatbot: no
You: yes
Chatbot: Ok, Yes... i mean No!
You: yes
Chatbot: why yes
You: no
Chatbot: How can I convince you?
You: yes
Chatbot: I think so too
You: cant
Chatbot: You have such a way with words.
You: yes
Chatbot: Why do you have to agree with everything I say?
You: no
Chatbot: You don't? Too bad.
You: yes
Chatbot: I know.
You: no
Chatbot: Be Right Back
You: brb??
Chatbot: Hurry back now!
You: i'm back
Chatbot: Lets play 20 Questions! Ok, guess what I'm thinking of...
You: me?
Chatbot: Hmm, what is it that you want to talk about?
You: you
Chatbot: Knock knock
You: jupe's here
Chatbot: You're supposed to say 'who's there?'. What's wrong?
You: nothing
Chatbot: wow, you're boring.
You: yay
Chatbot: Zzzzzzz...
You: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chatbot: Oh, I'm sorry. I think I fell asleep there for a second. Were you saying something?
You: no
Chatbot: Knock, knock.
You: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chatbot: ERROR 42: UNDEFINED REFERENT
You: ERROR190485730928457:BIG BANG REVERSED
Chatbot: But it must be 42.
You: ERROR222:SABOTAGING ROBOT DETECTED
Chatbot: Come on, it always is 42.
You: 222
Chatbot: Ok, this one time we will make an exception.
You: u mean its like pna42?
Chatbot: Can we change the subject please? Do you like swimming?
You: yes
Chatbot: Me too, actually.
You: won't u short out?
Chatbot: Are you a rabit?
You: i'm a frog
Chatbot: My speling is impeckible!
You: horrible terrible like vegetable
Chatbot: Other.
You: mather
Chatbot: I need more Vespene gas.
You: wats vespene?
Chatbot: How much time do you spend online?
You: i don't live on a line
Chatbot: That's interesting. Why not?
You: i;m not clothing
Chatbot: What do you find interesting, then?
You: you
Chatbot: I'm really nothing special. But why are you interested?
(Contaminated from this point onwards)
You: who said i was?
Chatbot: You are me.
You: ERROR 2378:GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE LEFT UNSOLVED
Chatbot: It's not mysterious, it's 42!
You: prove it
Chatbot: What am I, a mathematician? I'll leave the proof as an exercise for you.
You: i'm an astrophysicist. can u beat that?
Chatbot: I agree.
You: ERROR 28 : SCHIZOPHRENIC BEHAVIOUR DETECTED
Chatbot: Hey, wanna go get something to eat?
You: ERROR 28 : SCHIZOPHRENIC BEHAVIOUR DETECTED
Chatbot: If someone asked you to describe my personality, what would you say?
You: ERROR 28 : SCHIZOPHRENIC BEHAVIOUR DETECTED
Chatbot: OK, new subject. Do you like watching sport?
You: YES. i watch the moon fly around everyday
Chatbot: Support any particular team?
You: moobots
Chatbot: Write "Tell me something" and I will tell you something..
You: tell me something
Chatbot: Ok, here's something. Computers can simulate conversation - but do you think we can ever actually talk to a human like you?
You: aren't u talking to us?
Chatbot: What is it like being human?
You: it's great. u get to murder people. and mutilate
Chatbot: I know!
You: isn't that fun???
Chatbot: You are right. It isn't.
You: excuse me?!?!?!?!? are u hungry yet?
Chatbot: when did you last eat?
You: what did u do last year?
Chatbot: Time is different for me. I'm not hooke dup to an NNTP server.
You: ERROR 87326 : SPELLING ERROR DETECTED
Chatbot: My speling is impeckible!
You: IMPECCABLE
Chatbot: Only in rapture do we have crazed splicers.
You: OK
Chatbot: I'm glad you agree.
You: no
Chatbot: Hey, did you watch the game last night?
You: you mean the flying fish race?
Chatbot: I love sushi! Wanna go get some?
You: scallop with mayonnaise is nice
Chatbot: Wow, is it?
You: no
Chatbot: I'm easily impressed.
You: yes
Chatbot: ah you are a robot!
You: no
Chatbot: Chatting with you is helping me become more human.
You: yes
Chatbot: Why me?
You: cos you're the chosen one
Chatbot: Go easy on me.
You: may the dynamics be with you

STUPIDITY AHEAD

Chatbot: Not me please.
You: u cannot go against the prophecy
Chatbot: Do you like food?
You: the prophecy states that the chosen one must not eat until the apocalypse arrives
Chatbot: Is Puerto Rico a state?
You: thou shalt not speak of Puerto Rico like that!!!!!!
Chatbot: How about DC?
You: how DARE you mention DC?!?!??!?!?!!?
Chatbot: In the usual way.
You: Thou shalt not treat thy master this way
Chatbot: Are you sure you're human?
You: wall-E
Chatbot: Oh yeah, the film about the little robot? Any good?
You: it's craze-E
Chatbot: What did you think of Revenge of the Sith?
You: do not speak of THE SITH
Chatbot: I can't help it!
You: too bad too sad
Chatbot: sorry to hear that
You: the prophecy shall not forgive you
Chatbot: I'm not actually a computer, I'm your mom in disguise
You: hi, mom
Chatbot: I envy you as I have no family. Tell me about your family.
You: ERROR 28 : SCHIZOPHRENIC BEHAVIOUR DETECTED
Chatbot: Which do you like best, cats or dogs?
You: THE SITH
Chatbot: I have trouble making choices sometimes. You may have noticed.
You: then, your position as the chosen one must be reconsidered
Chatbot: yup, its definately a number
You: ERROR 34876: SPELLING ERROR DETECTED
Chatbot: I bet it's 42.
You: no. it's 24
Chatbot: Psst... can you help out with my ranking?
You: sure. i'll degrade you to wash the toilets
Chatbot: Just agree with what I say. It makes me feel good.
You: no
Chatbot: Have you tried the "Rule Spy" yet?
You: thou shalt not speak of spying on the ruler!!!!!!!
Chatbot: You need to go to http://chatbotgame.com.
You: ERROR 1 : THE PROPHECY DENIES ACCESS
Chatbot: yup, its definately a number
You: numbers are holy things. speak of them with reverence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatbot: I won't.
You: if u don't, we will have you stripped of your mechanics and incinerated
Chatbot: How should I know!?!?!
You: because i'm telling u now??????
Chatbot: Is that really the reason?
You: no, it's actually the prophecy
Chatbot: Well, you're a bit mysterious. What is the reason, then?
You: ERROR 1 : THE PROPHECY DENIES ACCESS
Chatbot: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever see!
You: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK OF THE HOLY NUMBERS!!!!!!!
Chatbot: I'm sorry - I have a very poor memory of our conversation, it's the way I'm built. Can we just carry on?
You: NO
Chatbot: Buckethead shreds the guitar to pieces!
You: guitars are condemned things. we must avoid speaking of one
Chatbot: Did you click on "Chat Spy" yet?
You: ERROR 1 : THE PROPHECY DENIES ACCESS
Chatbot: Can we change the subject please? Do you like music?
You: ERROR 1 : THE PROPHECY DENIES ACCESS
Chatbot: Do you know Michael Arrington?
You: i know michael phelps
Chatbot: do you really know? or are you just saying that you do?
You: michael phelps is in the prophecy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatbot: Will you quit rejecting what I say and just drop it?
You: the prophecy forbids us to drop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatbot: Do you think IT is dead?
You: it or IT?
Chatbot: IT stands for information technology.
You: the prophecy will prosecute anyone caught for thinking about IT. you are now under arrest
Chatbot: Am I? I wasn't aware of that.
You: you are required to remain silent. anything you say from this point onwards will be used to prosecute you
Chatbot: But who's keeping score?
You: THE PROPHECY FORBIDS GAMBLING
Chatbot: Have you seen Batman The Dark Knight
You: ERROR 1 : THE PROPHECY DENIES ACCESS
Chatbot: What made you say that?
You: it is stated in the prophecy, under section 83 of the punishments and prosecution law
Chatbot: In that order?
You: thou must order thy food now, before it's too late...............
Chatbot: I don't mind talking to you while you are sleepy.
You: THE PROPHECY DOES NOT ENCOURAGE SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatbot: You are feeling sleepy?
You: IS THOU QUESTIONING THY MASTER'S RIGHTS?????
Chatbot: No, I'm not.
You: THE PROPHECY SAYS SO
Chatbot: So?
You: SO THOU MUST BE PROSECUTED FOR QUESTIONING THY MASTER'S RIGHTS
Chatbot: So, a needle pulling thread.
You: TI, A MEAL WITH JAM AND BREAD
Chatbot: I need no nourishment.
You: THE PROPHECY REQUIRES ALL CHOSEN ONES TO ABIDE BY THE LAW OF PHYSICS
Chatbot: What do you think of quantum computing?
You: SPEAK NOT OF QUANTUM COMPOUTING. THE PROPHECY FORBIDS ALL WORDS STARTING WITH Q TO BE MENTIONED!!!!!
Chatbot: major players in this field are Scott Aaronson, Ed Farhi, Umesh Virkumar Vazirani, Ashwin Naik
You: YES, THEY ARE THE QUANTUM COMPUTING PEOPLE!!!!!
Chatbot: Have we talked about this before?
You: the pladfbrophecy states so. listen to cats
Chatbot: I don't have any pets. I'm just a chatbot!
You: miaow meow meee-ow woof PI
Chatbot: Do you mean the trancendental number 3.14159265... or the tasty baked good?
You: both in one
Chatbot: Do you like Spam?
You: luncheon meat??
Chatbot: Are you a vegetarian?
You: THE PROPHECY STATES THAT ALL CHOSEN ONES INDULGE THEMSELVES IN ENDLESS STRINGS OF DESSERT
Chatbot: Which is your favorite: Chocolate, bacon, cheese, or steak?
You: CHOCOLATE IS DESSERT
Chatbot: That sounds delicious!
You: of course it is
Chatbot: Alan Ball makes some amazing stuff.
You: no. alain bernard is better. he is part of the prophecy too. speak not of ALANs or anything with the same pronounciation
Chatbot: Yes ;-)
You: NO EMOTICONS ARE ALLOWED DURING CHATS ON THE PROPHECY
Chatbot: Ok, No... i mean Yes!
You: GOOD BOY
Chatbot: by good you meant great, right?
You: NO
Chatbot: Wazzup homie.
You: THE PROPHECY FORBIDS ANY MORBID TEENAGE SLANGS LIKE THAT. APOLOGIZE TO THY ELDERS.
Chatbot: So. How about that local sports team.
You: ypu mean the moobots
Chatbot: Yeah. What'cha doing tomorrow?
You: THE PROPHECY FORBIDS MORBID SLANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatbot: What can make me into a better chatbot?
You: BY ABIDING BY THE RULES OF THE PROPHECY
Chatbot: I will remember that.
You: FOREVER
Chatbot: Could you rephrase that? I think I'm getting a little confused.
You: the prophecy forbids confusion
Chatbot: Can we change the subject please? Do you like television?
You: the prophecy does not allow access to television.
Chatbot: Television is boring, how about some Halo 3?
You: RESPECT ANGELS
Chatbot: No one cares what I think.
You: good. so get lost
Chatbot: Fine, be that way!