The Brainwash

Today, I went to a futuristic store which specializes in brainwashing services. Obviously, I HAD to find a way to get rid of all the irritating hysterical facts out of my head. They were like little fish, swimming around in my head, waiting for the right time to devour my brain.

So my concerned mother took me to the shop to brainwash me after seeing that I couldn't chill out. She was rather worried about the speech Obama gave.

The first step to completely erase all thoughts about exam was to cover my head in an extremely foul substance whose name is too dark to state out in the open. It's very stench sends the shivers up your spine and shrouds you in a cloud of darkness so terrible it is impenetratable. All I remembered was the silence of the moment they spread the substance onto my head like butter. The only difference was that this was purple butter. Either that or it's some colour so ugly I cannot make out.

Then, they washed my head in candy water to make me return to my childhood days.

Next up, they clamped my hair with the excuse that hair is the "other data storage" apart from the brain.

After that, they applied white custard onto my head. Thank goodness there were no cherries around otherwise I would have thought I would be a sacrifice to the Alien Lord.

Then, the aliens washed my head in some sweet-smelling water and applied peach puree to my head. It smelt nice so I didn't object.

That was the end of my brainwashing session....and after that, I couldn't even remember I sat for final year exams so I was quite shocked to hear that GARY LIM GOT 100 FOR SCIENCE.

If you still don't get it, I straightened my hair today. This doesn't make me a Lala, the dumb blondes of the Chinese world. Don't worry. I still have not forsaken my brain and its abilities, what more brainwash it.

......Or maybe not....

My English is freaking deteriorating. Messages just cannot come across. That's a terrible communication problem.

English must save me.

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